


Waste No More Time

by burning_nova



Series: Kinkmeme Fills [7]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2017-12-04 23:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 53,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burning_nova/pseuds/burning_nova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-Thor: Odin notices that there is something amiss with Loki and realizes he doesn't know his son that well at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: So Loki does kind of suspect that Thor is favoured over him, but he's still at that stage of: "I'm sure I'm imagining it, after all, I am very different to my brother."
> 
> One day, Odin sits down next to young Loki and tries to have a conversation with him. He notices that Loki seems somewhat excited by the attention, but also uncomfortable, like he's not used to it. Then he realises that Loki has real plans for the future - plans that Odin really should have been helping him with, but he had always suspected Loki's magic to be a waste of time/useless.
> 
> After asking some other people about whether he pays enough attention to Loki, everyone seems to answer with the same kind of thing: "Oh, but you need to focus on Thor, the heir. Loki has Frigga. If he wants your attention he must work harder at the things you have in common."
> 
> Odin tries to heal the breach between him and Loki, but it's more than a little upsetting when he sees how plain baffled Loki is by his attention. He actually begins to speak to Loki about his own magic, which Loki always guiltily took for granted too.

Loki frowned as he walked down the hall to his father’s study. What could Father be calling him for? He had kept his mischief toned down since the incident with the dwarves. His tutors all remarked he did well in his studies and as did his trainers. He paused before the door, straightened his posture, took a deep breath and knocked. 

“Come in.” His father called from the other side, his voice as clear as day. Loki entered. His father stood before his desks, jotting something down on parchment. He wore his casual clothing, armor removed, and looking far less imposing than Loki had ever seen him. “Loki, my son.” He greeted with smile. 

Loki returned it, feeling the smile on his lips strain. No! His father would believe he did not want to be here. He licked his lips and smiled again. His father paused then continued walking toward him, pulling him in an embrace he long had forgotten he missed. He returned it, nonetheless, with a contained enthusiasm. 

He was not in trouble. Quite the opposite! He tried to keep from fidgeting but he found that he could not remember what it was like being at ease in his father’s presence. The last few centuries he had spent more time with his father in formal settings rather than in their private quarters. Most of that time had been spent with Thor or Mother. It was understandable. 

Mother was his spouse and co-ruler. Thor was his heir. Loki was the spare, at least politically speaking. His father had attended his naming day feasts and had even gifted him with his current spear. He was a good father, when the affairs of the court allowed him. He should be grateful for this time. 

He didn’t know why it left him with a sickly-sweet taste on his mouth, like the stench of putrefaction congealing on his tongue. He swallowed and let himself enjoy the moment. He had doubts, of course he did, that his family did not love him, like him even. He knew it had to be wrong. Did not this moment prove it? Or Mother’s smiles? Or Thor’s-Thor’s, well Thor’s affection was heavy handed at best. 

He was so very different from them all and most of Asgard. It would be understandable even that his friends, though few and far between, much less his parents, could relate to him as easily as each other. His tutors tried but failed for all their knowledge in magic. The women tutors did not want to be bothered with him. 

When his father pulled back, Loki made himself relax. A flutter of excitement stirred in his stomach, the same sensation that he remembered from when he was small and realized that Father (Father!) wanted to be with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Odin hid his frown when Loki tensed in his arms during the embrace. The smile had been odd enough, more of a grimace than a smile to rival that of Thor’s. He did not seem in a hurry or even pained by this meeting. He pulled away and offered him a smile in turn though. 

“Your tutors informed me you controlled more than one double of yourself in combat. It is quite a feat.” Odin said. It was true; his own magic was strong but lacked the finesse to craft such high classed illusions. “You beat a regiment with that little trick.” He said proudly. 

Loki nodded. “It was nothing.” He said softly. “I would not have used it if I did not think it capable of succeeding.”

“This implies you have used it before. When?” Loki looked surprised that he asked for an elaboration. 

“With Thor. I have left his prattling to a copy of mine while I went off to study or run an errand.” He looked away. “It was not meant in disrespect for my brother, Father, but Thor can…tell rather long tales.” 

Odin laughed. It was true; Thor could be quite the chatter mouth when it he set his heart to it. His younger son might be the Silvertongue but his eldest would be the fisherman’s wife on market day if given half the chance. He took a moment to calm down. Loki was giving him a half-hearted smile in turn. As if he had not known that he would laugh.

As if he did not know him. 

Odin almost frowned but shook his head to clear his thoughts. Right now he had to speak with his son, any concerns he had he could address later with him. He licked his lips and motioned him to follow him to a sturdy set of seats. Two cups of mead stood on a small table between them. Odin sat down and took a cup. 

Loki sat, more gingerly and took the cup after a moment’s hesitation- his hand had hovered at the cup’s base. He shifted in the seat, not quite settling in as Thor did. “These are comfortable seats, Father.” Loki murmured a bit softly. Why he had had those a century, surely Loki had seen them in that time? “It is sturdy enough to support Volstagg and his ilk.”

“Yes.” Odin agreed instead. “Now, Loki I have been meaning to speak with you for some time.”

“About?”

“About what you mean to do once your brother is on the throne.” 

“I do not know for certain yet. You have said we are both meant to be kings but I assumed you meant that you rather have Thor and I ready to rule should plans not go along as expected. Thor is strong and will make a fine king so I do not take much thought in acting as a king. I had hoped to travel the Realms and learn more about magic.” A glimmer of excitement was visible in Loki’s eyes. “There is so much I have yet to learn.”

“I thought you wanted to be your brother’s advisor.” Odin replied surprised. Loki’s face fell. 

“If that is what you wish of me.” He replied. Then he added. “I still believe travelling would be good for such a position. I might counsel Thor in the ways of many people, not just our own.” 

“No, I mean.” He gave a frustrated sigh and took a sip from his mead. Loki followed suit. His eyes darting around the room. “Why do you not wish to be your brother’s advisor? You had wanted to do so before.” When they had last spoken. Which was how long ago? He had spoken to Thor last week. That much he was certain of but what of Loki?

“Thor does not need my counsel.” He said bitterly. “Or more to say that Thor does not want my counsel, Father. I took it to mean I was free to do as I wished. I would not abandon my brother but he does not need me.” 

“Your brother does.” Odin protested. When had his sons’ relationship gone sour? They had been inseparable. 

“If you say so father.” Loki replied. “The Warriors Three and Lady Sif serve him where I once did. I do not begrudge them, they are his best of friends.” 

“And so you wish to travel and expand you knowledge in magic.” Magic he had apparently refined beyond his expectation on Asgard. He had always thought it a foolish fancy of his youngest. While he knew magic it was not his main strength as it was his son’s. He had expected his son to possibly become a scholar, not a mage, where the knowledge would be far more suited for an heir to the throne. He could act as, again, counsel to his brother or work even the courts of Asgard. 

His younger brothers each served in such positions. He thought back when he was younger. He would have liked to do as Loki stated himself but his own duties had prevented him. What was to stop Loki perhaps save on imposition he placed on to stay? Loki seemed so excited while speaking before. Now he looked worn and resigned. 

Loki would stay if he ordered him. This was not his intention. 

“Yes, if you would allow me to do so.”

“I never forbade you and if your brother orders it then he is a fool.” Loki looked so surprised that Odin wondered what he had said. Loki deserved his chance at happiness. Odin still intended to place his youngest on Jotunheim’s throne but the time was not yet ready. In fact it could never be ready. Laufey ruled with an iron fist and his other sons would follow suit, whichever of them inherited the throne. He carried on. 

“Would you serve as an ambassador or travel alone as a citizen of Asgard in name only?” Loki smiled. His excitement returned. 

“I had thought about that. An ambassadorship would be highly beneficial while living in a Realm, if possible, but it would impede my goal as well. I do not wish to engage in politics until need be. It could always attempt it at a later time as well. It is not closed to me.” 

Odin nodded. He would need to speak to his son about this in more detail.

They spoke for another hour, Loki still appearing jittery and nervous through the entire time. When he left it was only to change for dinner. 

“Father,” Loki had said as he left in a tone that brought to mind bramble bushes. “Thank you for seeing me.”

“It is my pleasure, son.” Odin said and watched his son go looking so much brighter. 

He looked at his cup, still half-filled with mead and nursed it. Why had he thought about bramble bushes? It took him a few minutes but the memory slowly came to him. 

A dead baby bird. His youngest caught in blackberry bushes, scraped and crying. He had tried to save the bird. ‘Father!’ he had cried in distress. ‘Father.’ his tone disbelieving and hopeful when seeing him. He was so bloodied Odin had known he had been there for hours. 

Loki had said his name in the same tone, but why? Odin threw the cup into the fire.


	3. Chapter 3

Dinner passed as normal, his attention torn between his wife and his advisors. He managed to glance toward his sons during that time. Thor laughed and conversed with his friends and several admirers. Loki sat next to Thor but made conversation between Thor and a few scholars. He looked the same as he always did but his gaze fell on him more than normal. 

Odin acknowledged each view he caught with a nod. Loki only smiled slyly in turn. When the evening came to an end he bid his sons goodnight and went to his private quarters with Frigga. The door to their chambers closed and Odin undressed. 

“Wife,” Odin began as he pulled on his bed clothing. “how would describe my relationship with our sons?”

“What do you mean?” Frigga asked as she let her hair down. 

“Would you say I am a good father? Do you think I am neglectful?”

“You are busy.” Frigga replied. 

“What does that mean?” He asked her. 

“It means you cannot be a bad father for you make an effort with your sons but you cannot be a wonderful father, as you desire to be, because of your duties.” He frowned. “I know that is not what you want to hear but I will not lie to you.”

“So I am a bad father.”

“No, you are King foremost of all. It means you at times cannot accomplish everything a commoner or even a lord may with his children. What brought this on?”

“I met with Loki today and the way he acted, you would have thought we were strangers.” He frowned and looked at her. “And I fear he may be right. I can recall the last time I spoke with you, Thor, even my brothers but not him.”

“What do you intend to do about it?” Frigga asked. 

“Intend? I do not know. I feel as if I have failed my child. What good is the title of All Father if I cannot even be one to my own son?”

“Thor-“

“Thor is not my only child!” He roared. Frigga looked startled. Odin looked away from her. “I am sorry, I did not mean to yell at you. Please continue.”

“I was going to state that Thor and Loki have a father who loves them and they know it.”

“Thor perhaps but Loki? Loki stiffened in my arms when I held him and his smile was more of a snarl.” He looked at her. “I must fix this. If I hadn’t noticed and told him later of his adoption it would appear as if I never cared for him at all.” Frigga said nothing. “How did this happen?”

“I do not know husband. I would caution you to take time to examine this before engaging Loki further.” 

“I do not love Thor more.”

“I know, now ask yourself why you felt it necessary to inform me thusly.” Odin frowned and felt far too old at that moment. 

“I will.” 

Odin cancelled his morning meeting and walked to his study. He studied his calendar and tried to remember when he had last met with his son but could only find his naming day. This did nothing to soothe the unsettling feeling that had formed in his stomach since yesterday. He paused and thought. 

He would ask others as he had with his wife. Only he would hold his temper this time round. (He needed to make amends with Frigga now too.) He first would speak with his brothers, advisors, Loki’s tutors and friends, and finally Thor. Then he would see what he would do about the situation. 

He looked at the clocks. It was still early, his brother Vil would not yet be presiding over one of the lesser courts of Asgard. He started heading out and laughed. He needed to change and don a disguise. Heading to his brother’s home in his court armor would scream “This is THE Vil Borson.” after his brother had tried hard to live among the citizenry. 

Vil had had the luck of having a common name on top of their father’s common name. Odin Borson had stood out before he had been All Father and while there were many mortal Odins running about there were few immortal Odins, many which carried more than one name out of respect. He changed into a pair of breeches that hung a bit too snugly on him and pulled on an old tunic. 

Now for the hard part. He brought his magic up to disguise his features. The One-Eyed Odin was gone and in his place stood a weathered man with graying blond hair and two brown eyes. He smiled at his reflection then took a cloak and left the rooms via the secret entrance. It would not do for his own guards to arrest him after all.

The walk to his brother’s house took a bit of maneuvering on his part. He took a public carriage to the square that made up the common law courts. From there he walked to his brother’s home, a tall and elegant building that housed an astounding library. (Although he was nearly arrested by crossing through the private garden of a lesser nobleman.)

He met with his brother after a little formality on his servant’s part. Vil took him to his private library and silenced the room from any eavesdroppers. Vil stood as tall as him but his hair still held the color of its youth. In his formal clothing he appeared as any other Asgardian and his age could explain away any scarring he may have, remnants of the War. 

“Well met, brother.” Vil greeted, seeing through his disguise.

“Well met.” Odin replied. His glamour vanished and Vil smirked at him. 

“Having a hard time around the commoners? Once you were so eager to move about them.”

“I had no trouble. Now if you placed me upon Midgard I would be more hard pressed. Those mortals die and change everything before you know it.”

“Hence why they are *mortals*.” Vil stated. “You are quite fond of that Realm of course. We did go to war for it.” 

“It is our duty to-“ Odin glared at his brother. He was walking into another one of their old tricks. The glare faded and a smiled tugged on his lips. “As much as I would like to speak with you about old matters, Rohsdottir, I come to ask speak to you about Loki.” Vil glared the frowned. 

“The runt?” 

“Do not call him that.” 

“It changes not the fact that he is a runt. Mother was taller than him and she was on the smaller side of the jotnar.” Vil stated. “But what of him?”

“Do you feel I spend enough time with him?”

“How am I to know brother? I spend very little time at court. I barely know either of my nephews as it stands.”

“What impressions do you have of us then?”

“Truth?”

“Truth.”

“It is common knowledge that you favor Thor, or so it seems from the people I associate with. It is understandable of course. Thor is heir; he needs more of your time. If Loki wanted more of you time he must earn it. Just as I had to with Father, All Father.” Vil said. “What has brought this on?”

“I merely am concerned that I am treating Loki unfairly.” 

“You treat him well. It is the burden a King must bear – he cannot divide his attention among his sons evenly even if he wished to do so. It is part of the reason I had been glad that you and Frigga had not had any further children until you came back with that little runt.” Vil smiled. “He was rather cute.”

“I see.” Odin did not like his brother’s opinion but said little else on the matter. When he went back to court to ask Ve he received a similar answer. Ve and Vil never seemed unhappy in their childhood could he merely be over reacting or was Loki merely more sensitive about this than his brothers?

Odin changed near lunch and contemplated the situation over his midday meal. Vil and Ve never were not too skilled in magics as Loki and fit right in as Thor did before him. 

Watching his son and the shy smile he sent him when he met his gaze, Odin knew he was right. Loki was not either of his brothers. Something more was at play here than him and his apparent favoritism of Thor. 

What had he missed? 

Frigga was right. He needed to address this first before seeing Loki or else it may end up worse than it was.


	4. Chapter 4

Odin had hated dwarves ever since the incident with Brokkr. He had not particularly liked them but he had not disliked them before that event. Despite his wish to never deal with those few that entered his kingdom he knew it was unfeasible, he had to do business with ambassadorial and mercantile groups because the dwarves were still the best smiths, forgers, and engineers in all the realms—save perhaps a few humans whose mortality belayed the extent of their greatness. 

He had negotiated for the better part of three days with a rather unpleasant female dwarf whose brilliance was marred by her character. She made a bligsnipe charming by comparison. By the end he felt like he had come out with the lesser hand but the shipment of much needed armor for their special strike forces had been obtained. Now he wanted nothing more than to strip off his armor and go from Odin-King to Odin, just Odin.

He sat in the now empty throne room and listened as his advisors Ábiörn, Eiríkr, Frøkn, and Hekkr (Where was Ve?) prattled on about various matters (The old goat had run off!). Until the day finally came to end with a headache was pounding at his temples. 

He almost dismissed them when he remembered. Loki. 

“I have one final matter to discuss with you.” Odin said. His advisors looked surprised, no doubt trying to think about what issue they had overlooked. 

“What is it, Your Majesty?” Eiríkr asked him. 

“Prince Loki, I have spoken with him recently and it has come to my attention that I may not be devoting enough time to his instruction. Would you state that this is true? My sons are born to be kings, I cannot neglect either.” From their looks it seemed they were not at all expecting him to broach this topic above all others. 

“Prince Loki, sire? Not Prince Thor?” Ábiörn asked. 

“I have but two sons, I know which I speak of.” Odin replied tersely. 

“It is merely…Prince Loki is not heir, your majesty. It is necessary that Prince Thor receive as much instruction from you as necessary. His highness, the prince, will need it when he is king.”

“And if he is not?” 

“I do not understand.” Frøkn added. “Prince Thor is the Crown Prince, will be king. He is firstborn.” 

“There are no certainties.” Odin replied, not willing to show how much their disregard for Loki bothered him. “Both my sons require a certain level of instruction, I believe Loki may be lacking in certain areas because I have not addressed both equally.” 

“While I understand your concerns, your majesty.” Hekkr said. “I believe you need not worry. Prince Loki lacks not what he requires. Besides his strengths are hardly better than Prince Thor’s, they are, not ill suited per se, but not those Asgard expects of its king.” At his look he quickly continued. “Prince Loki is perfectly ready for the throne. I have no doubt that he would rule well and justly as any son of Odin would but Prince Thor is the better choice of the two.”

“It is true, sire.” The others agreed. Odin frowned. 

“So I devoted enough time for each son as they require.” He stated. 

“Yes.” Frøkn said at once. “Prince Thor requires it more-so than Prince Loki. Prince Loki obviously needs instruction but in terms of courtly matters and even his magic the Queen may instruct him just as well as you, sire.” 

Then conversation continued along the same thread for several more minutes. Each believed that Frigga could be a replacement for him with Loki (because he was not Thor). In fact their considerations for Loki were almost an afterthought. Finally he dismissed them. 

Instead of turning to his chambers as he had originally intended, Odin headed to his son’s wing. He passed the main courtyard. He frowned when he saw Thor and his friends laughing. He would think about it later, first he had to deal with Loki. When he reached Loki’s personal wing the guards confirmed he was in his chambers. 

Odin knocked on the doors. 

“Loki, it is I, your father,” he said. Loki opened the doors a few moments later. “May I speak with you?” Loki nodded, face calm and passive. 

The guards glanced at him in surprise from their posts. Odin may have one eye but he is not blind. Odin entered Loki’s rooms. The main room was a comfortable sitting room, decorated in a dizzying array of greens and blacks. Odin smiled at Loki when he hesitated between bowing and merely greeting him. 

“I have not seen you all day.” Odin said. “You missed a fine meal today at dinner. We had your favorite.” 

“I ate here in my chambers. I was occupied by my research.”

“What are you researching?”

“Whether or not Thor will sink if his ego grows larger or if he will in fact float due to the swelling of head if placed in water.” Loki answered seriously. Odin laughed. Loki looked pleased though slightly uneasy.

“I believe you needn’t worry.” Odin replied after a moment. “Mjolnir will ensure that Thor does not sink or float off into the branches of Yggdrasil.” Loki chuckled. “Come, what are you truly studying?”

“I admit that I am not studying at this time.” Loki said. “I merely told Mother that so I would not need to attend. I am reading an epic written by a mortal, ages ago, about a demigod driven mad by his father’s wife. He slays his family and then tries to redeem himself by completing a series of tasks. It’s rather fascinating.”

“I do not recall ever reading that epic.” Odin stated. “Would you lend me the tome?”

“I am afraid that is not possible.”

“Why ever not?” Loki’s sidelong gaze at his bedroom had him sighing. “Loki.”

“I may have stolen a mortal orator to recount the tale. The story is meant to be sung. It is rather beautiful, Father.” He looked abashed. “Although I am afraid you still would not be able to hear it, at least for the moment. I may have given him a bit too much wine as well.” 

Odin shook his head. “Oh, Loki.” he said with a hint of laugher. “Just return him unharmed and I will say no more on the matter.” Loki nodded. Then he looked at him thoughtfully. “Were our guests an incentive to steal the poor mortal away?”

“I know not what you speak of.”

“The dwarves.” Loki’s hand jerked. His lips tightened. “I thought as much.” He motioned that he would like to sit in one of his seats. Loki sat across from him in an older seat. “I did not greet them with much love, believe me. I am afraid it left an even sourer taste in my mouth than before.” 

“First jotnar, now dwarves. Soon we will have no one in the Nine, save the mortals, to like.”

“You like mortals?”

“Not in particular but they are short-lived enough that they rarely survive the length of any grudge.” 

“That is true.”

“Although it may only be us two who disdain the dwarves.” Loki said. “The jotnar are monsters so their hatred is understandable. The dwarves silenced the Silvertongue. A feat many would celebrate.”

“Do not talk about the Jotnar that way or yourself.” Odin snapped. Loki looked surprised. 

“I only speak the truth.” Loki said. “The Jotnar are monsters and if you do not believe that I do not recall you ever saying otherwise. As for myself, that is the sentiment held by those around me.”

“I cannot control the views of others.” Odin said simply. “Besides to speak ill of all Jotnar speaks against fellow Asgardians and Jotnar who had naught to do with the War at all. Or do you forget the war brides that some of my soldiers brought with them? Or perhaps that a large part of Asgard is mixed with those of Jotunheim?” 

“I believe you think this far too much, Father.” 

“I have thought about this long through out my reign. I cannot control others or their stories but I can speak to you about them. I did not do what I should have when you and your brother were younger, but I believed you would understand.”

“That the Jotnar are not monsters?” 

“Yes. No.” Odin shook his head. “It is far too complicated and I am too tired to explain.” Loki pursed his lips but said no more. Odin sighed. He did not come to scold his youngest. “I did not come to discuss politics with you, Loki. Come, you have intrigued me with your story of this unknown hero. As your orator is sleeping off his wine perhaps you can tell me about it.”

“I cannot sing.” Loki said. 

“And here I thought you were the Silvertongue.” Odin said, challenging his son to turn song into spoken word. Loki glowered. 

Then he began to speak.


	5. Chapter 5

Odin began to read over the report his financial ministers had sent him. Taxes were… 

Odin could not concentrate as he shuffled through the papers. He had spoken with Loki’s instructors for a very long time but not about the topic he meant to ask them about. His sons were nearly fully-grown and he had long since stopped following their schooling to the letter. He had thought he had at least paid attention to the basest of instructions. He apparently had overlooked it more than he had intended. 

Thor’s instructors hailed him as a great warrior and a decent scholar. It was rare to find criticism on his eldest. Odin wondered if this was due to pandering or honest devotion. It made him wary. Thor did not act well to criticism as it was, if sycophants surrounded him when he came to the throne then it could worsen, especially with his temper. 

By contrast, Loki’s teachers raved that he made an excellent scholar and fine warrior. He came away with plenty of information about his son but nothing about how he was with him. He paused. Maybe that was his problem. 

He was thinking about Loki in relation to him as opposed to his own to that of Loki. He knew more about Thor than Loki. Thor knew about him as King and Father well. What about Loki? More as King than Father. He knew Loki as Prince than son, but even that comparison was weak. He seemed to know very little of the Prince Loki Asgard perceived or the real Loki, unimpeded by anything.

 

First, first he would start with Asgard because everyone seemed to dismiss or ignore his son in a way that left him uncomfortable. He knew Loki’s reputation as a trickster, he was the god of Mischief so it was only natural but he suspected there was more he was missing. There was a thread of hostility present.

He would speak to Heimdall first thing in the morning. Right now he would need to finish the reports if he was going to attend dinner on time. A family dinner like they had not had in ages. A thrill of excitement rushed through him. When had they stopped that too? Family dinners invoked the thought of a chubby faced Loki and a sulking Thor, not quite yet entering adolescence. 

His wife and him had dinners alone at times, lunches, and in the rare moments more private events best left as that. Heimdall, could he show his face to his gatekeeper? What had he done recently that may have drawn his attention? Nothing. Or at least he could think of nothing. So he could face him without shame. 

For now at least. 

The next morning Odin walked to the Bifrost. Early in the morning there were only a few people about. He saw merchants setting up stalls, guards changing rounds, and he even caught sight the Lady Freya without makeup (Still as lovely as ever but he would have to turn over five gold coins to Frigga about the naturalness of the blush on her cheeks. She painted them, dang it.). 

Heimdall stood in the same position he was almost always seen in, standing steadfast with sword in hand. His eyes stared off in the distance. If he had not known Heimdall Odin would have suspected he did not see him. “All Father.” Heimdall greeted before he stood five feet before him. 

“Gatekeeper.” He greeted in turn. 

“How can I help you?”

“Loki.”

“The Mischief Maker.” Heimdall said but with no hostility. 

“Yes. How does Asgard view my son?”

“If I were to tell you, All Father, you would learn not the lesson you seek.” 

“What can you tell me?”

“Your son hides from my sight, if he so wishes. He has been able to do so for years.”

“Why was I not informed of this?” He asked alarmed. It was a serious security risk. If Loki, in his youth could discover such a method who was to say another being could not learn it? And what of Loki? If he were taken in such a state would they ever find him? Would they find him too late? 

“It has not, as of yet, been a concern. Loki has used it to travel to Midgard and other realms without my knowledge. As you can see his latest trip’s acquisition is currently in his chambers mulling over drinking anymore wine and wondering if this is all but a hallucination. Loki is powerful, as you once were. It is not a simple feat many will accomplish. You needn’t worry.” Heimdall turned his head south. 

What did he see? Odin’s own Sight was limited and he would struggle to even gaze one tenth of the scope of Heimdall’s. “A skywalker.” he groaned. “Why must my son be what I was?”

“You two are more similar than you know.” Heimdall stated then _looked_ at him. “You best keep that in mind, All Father.” Then looked away. Odin did not shudder but nodded. “If you wish to know what Asgard thinks of your son, I suggest you do as your brother suggested and spend time among its citizenry.” 

“Heimdall, how does Asgard treat the Jotnar?”

“They are the monsters under the beds of children, the villains in the tales of all. They are hated and the mutual history once shared between us has long since been swept away.” Odin frowned. 

“Thor hates the Jotnar.”

“Yes.”

“Does your sister?”

“Sif was born during the war. She has never known otherwise.”

“So she does.” 

“Yes.”

“I have failed in more ways than one.” 

“You have not failed as of yet, Bestlajarson. Until change is impossible you have a chance.” Then he was quiet and Odin returned to court.


	6. Chapter 6

Odin had to settle a few issues before he could disappear for his ‘retreat/diplomatic mission’. He glanced at his sons who were doing their share of studies in the library. Frigga sat in the balcony a few feet away. Loki looked content, even after sending his bard home. Thor’s expression fluctuated between bored and concentrated. He caught his eldest son staring off into space blankly more than Loki, so at least his tutors had not lied about him. 

Thor must have felt him staring because he turned to him. “Father?”

“Nothing, my boy, just thinking.” 

“I wish you would tell us where you were going.” Loki stated, not looking up from his book.

“I will not have you following me for your own curiosity or your tricks, Loki.” Odin replied good-naturedly. “Or do you forget the incident with the Vanir?”

“I was four hundred!” Loki protested. 

“You are still the same boy.” Odin retorted. “Only now you are far cleverer and skilled.” Loki smirked. “And that right there,” He pointed at his smirk. “is why I am keeping it a secret. You fit your calling very well, Loki. I would not have it any other way but I am not foolish enough to assume you would not attempt something.” Loki sighed and nodded, though a gleam had entered his eyes. 

Odin returned to his own papers and added casually. “And do not think that your ability to hide from Heimdall’s Sight will help you either.” He looked up at his gaping son. He had to suppress his own smirk. “I have my eye on you.” He said grimly. 

“Since when do you know about that!” Loki demanded. 

“We all have our secrets.” Odin said mysteriously. Loki glowered, until Thor’s hand landed on his arm and spun him toward him. Thor looked sternly at Loki. 

“You should have told me about this as well, brother.”

“I am not aiding you on your misadventures.”

“That is not why. I am concerned.” Thor said crossing his arms defensively. “I worry about your safety.”

“I am hardly a maiden, Thor.”

“I am your elder.”

“By barely a few decades!” Loki retorted. Odin bit back a laugh as they started arguing in a debate as old as time. He remembered his own with his brothers and couldn’t help smiling despite himself. 

Frigga, who had snuck up on them all from her seat on the balcony, suddenly had each of the boys’ ears in her hands. A protest from each was quickly silenced with a stern glare. 

“Loki, why have you not told us about this? Or you me, husband-mine?” Frigga demanded. Odin wisely kept silent as Loki stammered out a reply. He quickly lost his silvertongue when confronted with his mother like a child. “And you, Thor, you would have used this for your adventures at some point. Do not lie.”

“I was not thinking about that!” Thor once again protested. “Do you not trust me, Mother?”

“Must I remind you of the incident with Thrym?” 

“In my defense, that worked out for the best.” Loki piped in before Thor could blame him for something. “Besides it is Thor’s fault. He had forgotten his own hammer.”

“I did not forget my hammer! I had merely drunk too much mead.” He grumbled.

“It is fortunate that Thrym also enjoys his alcohol otherwise he would never have taken you for Freya.”

“We are not having this discussion again.” Frigga declared despite the fact that both boys were once again ignoring her. 

“I made a fine bride.” Thor defended. 

“You are naught but muscle and fur!” Loki said. 

“Oh, as if you are any better brother? You are far too lanky and have always been too angular to be a proper woman. And I have since gained the beard of a proper man.” Thor said haughtily. “I admit that now I would not make a beautiful bride in the same sense I once did but then I had the body.”

“Why do you speak in the present tense, Thor? Do you wish to be someone’s wife?”

“There is no shame if I do.” Thor retorted, surprising Odin in turn. “At least I could be someone’s bride. You, on the other hand, have not had a suitor in at least a century.” Loki’s face turned angry for a moment and Thor seemed to realize that this conversation could turn ugly fast. 

Odin decided it was time to intervene. Or would have if Frigga had not whistled loud enough to have them all wincing. “Enough.” She said simply, not even using her power to reinforce the order as Odin sometimes. “Thor apologize to your brother, now.”

“I am sorry, Loki. I meant not anything by it.” Thor said honestly remorseful. 

“That is because you are a fool.” Loki snarled. “You-“

“Enough, Loki!” Frigga said. Odin stood. 

“Calm down.” Odin told Loki. Loki’s face turned bitter and Odin reminded himself of what was said to him about his son and what he had come to learn, if only to not act as he once had. “Your brother has apologized. It is but a minor insult, put it behind you.” Then he turned sternly to Thor. Loki nodded but his expression was still hard.

“As for you, Thor, I am disappointed in you.” Thor’s looked surprised at the reprimand and did not say anything. “You use your words as you would your hammer. Unlike with your hammer you fail to realize that your words have caused harm until it has come to pass. You often forget that both can be used to create as well as destroy. It is ill fitting for a king to act so brashly.” He then shook his head. “It is ill fitting to anyone at all.”

“He is my brother.” Thor said at last.

“That is no excuse. Do you think I slight your uncles when I have a disagreement with them?”

“Your hardly see them.”

“I see your uncle Ve most every day.” Odin countered. “If I were to act as you had every time I would never see him.”

“But-“

“I agree with your father.” Frigga said, soothing her hands over her skirt. “However I can tell both of you are still angered. We will discuss this at a later time when both of you will not think back at it with bitterness. Loki, come with me. I wish to discuss this new found ability of yours alone.” She said glaring at Odin. “Thor, stay with your father.”

“Yes Mother.” Both his sons replied. Odin watched as Loki walked away with Frigga. His posture, which had been more relaxed than in their initial meeting in his study, had been stiff in his company. As he and Frigga moved away he saw that Loki relaxed naturally and he seemed at better ease in the company of his mother.

“Father?” Thor asked, looking uncertain and a small trace of jealousy in his features as he saw where he looked. 

“Go back to your studies. Your tutors tell me you have been doing well but I know you can do better.”

“Yes, Father.” Thor said walked back toward his book. Then stopped. He grabbed Loki’s book and quickly headed to the balcony. He gave it Loki, who glared at him, and returned to his own. His head hung slightly lower than it had before.

Odin sighed. 

He had but three issues at this moment to address: Loki, Thor, and Asgard. He did not know which would be the most difficult to ‘fix’, if he could do so at all. 

He went back to his papers.


	7. Chapter 7

“Odin, what is the matter?” Frigga asked in their chambers that evening. 

“I have a plan.” He told her. 

“Which is?”

He smiled at her bashfully, looking more like the man she fell in love with rather than the king he had become. “While I am absent I would like you to allow our sons to rule as regent.”

“Regent?” Frigga asked. During the War and the times of the Odinsleep Frigga ruled the kingdom in his steed. She had proven to be a formidable and just ruler on her own. 

“Yes. Thor and Loki, they each show so much potential but were I to die this kingdom would suffer for it.”

“Do you think I would allow that?”

“I know you would try but our people would demand a King when the heirs are of age. You know that as much as I.” 

“This is true. There would only be so long I could hold off your council and our sons themselves.”

“My heart, I will be gone three months. For the first two I would like Loki and Thor to rule one month and you the third, alone, to correct their mistakes.”

“You mean as I always do?” Frigga asked amused. “I am their mother.”

“Yes, that is true.” Odin agreed and lied down on a divan. “By the Nine, I still remember the first time I saw Loki there in the temple. Where has the time gone?”

Frigga laughed. “Where it always goes, slipping by like grains of sands before you know it. I too remember the first time you brought either to me.” Her gaze turned distant as she recalled the past. “Loki and Thor…I would strip myself of all riches and live in squalor if it meant their happiness. I would bind myself to rocks beneath Midgard and gladly suffer the drip of poison to my face until the end for them as the mortals believe of Loki.” 

“I believe we need not go to such drastic measures.” Odin replied. “We merely need to temper them. We have allowed our duties to distract us from some of their faults, me more than you. Both our sons love you and know you. Loki is so…much more relaxed in your company. I find myself jealous and full of self-disgust for failing to have the same. 

“And Thor! I have spoiled him with such attention he cannot stand it when I pay it to Loki!” 

“It is not quite so.”

“You did not see his face after you and Loki went to the balcony! It was as if Loki were stealing away a favorite toy.” Odin sighed. “I am an awful father.” He reiterated. “I am a horrid king.”

“Do not blame yourself so. You will not accomplish anything if you do not look forward and believe it may change.”

“But how can I when I see my failures at every turn?” Odin said. “I know it takes time but now that I am coming to see my faults I am unable to mend them.”

“These faults did not come all at once. It will not be so easy to fix.”

“I know.” Odin said unhappily. “The mortals believe that I traded my eye for wisdom but blinded myself beyond the literal sense in the process. Perhaps they are right. I have lost sight of the important and that which I once held as wisdom is now worthless.”

“It will be alright.” Frigga repeated. “At least you have sense enough not to announce that this family is more Jotnar than not. With its current attitude we would be lucky to escape a coup!”

“Perhaps I should.” Odin said. “I am half-Jotun, Thor is a quarter, and Loki the whole quail.” He looked at her. “You have never forgotten and loved me despite it and Loki. Why cannot our people?”

“Because in order to heal our people turned the Jotnar into monsters. It made it easier to accept so many deaths. However it never changed back; instead it chose to forget its mixed heritage.”

“Laufey is a monster, not all his people.”

“Yes but is it not easier to blame the whole than one?”

“How did our wonderful son come such a man?” Odin asked in disgust, wondering more than once for it. “His other sons are as corrupt as he.”

“For he raised them.” Frigga reminded him. “It is not uncommon for the son to follow the father whether of blood or not. It is also common for the opposite to be true. Look at Thor, his ability in magics is elementary. How?” 

He shook his head. “I should marry him to Amora. Then my grandchildren at least will know magic.”

“And here I recall your happiness that it appeared he would marry Sif for his children would have a higher chance at being gods of war.”

“I am a god of war. Sif is a goddess of war. Thor’s areas of power are related to nature.”

“Because of his mother and do not forget where some of your other strengths lie.”

“I am aware.” He said unhappily. “Although he is a fine warrior. If I have grandchildren Loki will provide me the sorcerers and Thor the bladed granddaughters and sons.”

“I believe you have gone too far in the future. First we must fix the present, then we may dream of happy grandchildren.”

“Have I ever told you that the mortals believe Loki birthed Sleipnir?”

“What no? How have I been unaware for so long?” Frigga asked wondering about the mind of men.

“By the Norns, I know not but let me tell you!” She sat in horrified silence as he told her what he knew. “What is wrong with mortals?” Frigga asked at the end of his tale. “Oh, I must go weave to rid myself of such images.” Frigga shuddered and left the room. Odin sighed and wondered the same thing.


	8. Chapter 8

The few days before he was to leave he decided to spend with his sons. He spent the first day with Loki alone. They were again in his son’s room. Loki sat formally across from him. 

“Where are you headed Father? Why can you not tell us?” Odin decided to give him half-truths. 

“I must go away because in order to see that which I have become blind to.” He smiled at him. “I still have much to learn, Loki. It is not merely limited to the youth.”

“Is that why you cannot tell us?”

“It is for the best. Otherwise I may not learn what I desire. I will not go as Odin Allfather.” He looked at him. “In my youth, I was much like you. My own father cursed me for my trickery and, like you wish, I ventured throughout the Nine to learn.”

“You do not curse me. Scold perhaps, but not curse.”

“I could not as he had me. I hated him for it and could not stand if I did so with you. Although, times were different then and I have become more tempered since then.”

“Is that a round about way of saying you have become old?” Loki teased. Odin glared at him, but laughed. Loki relaxed. 

“Watch your words, Loki or I will challenge you to a round of sparring with our favored weapon.” Loki smiled. 

“That would hardly be a fair match. I would be very well outmatch with Gungnir in your hands.”

“I am Odin Spear-Bearer I can use other spears.” Odin countered. “Or do you think you would lose?”

“I would like very much to spar with you, Father.” Loki said smiling brightly at him. Odin smiled in turn. “Although I believe it would be best do so when you return for you may be delayed by your defeat.”

“Young cur.” Odin laughed happily. “Loki Silvertongue, you will be outmatched. Just you wait.”

“You have been away from battle so long, Father. I believe you forget that this will not be a battle of words. You will not be facing the Silvertongue.”

Odin nodded. “Then it is settled. We will spar after my journey.” He looked at him and said. “I have spoken with your mother about what should be done while I am gone. I require something of you and your brother.”

“What is it Father? You know I would serve this kingdom in the best way I can.” 

“That a boy.” Odin said and looked at him grimly. “As I will be gone I will need someone to look after someone I care for dearly.”

“Is it mother?” Loki asked wondering if his mother had fallen ill. 

“No, it is Sleipnir. The stable hand will be on vacation and am wondering if you and your brother would alternate days shoveling out his stall? He is my favorite steed after all and his care is so very important to me.”

“Shovel the horse’s manure?” He yelled indignantly. “Father, I must protest! I will be made a mockery because Thor will not do it all!” 

“You said anyway you could.” Odin reminded him. “I cannot trust him just to anyone.”

“But-but-“ Loki then looked at him suspiciously. “You are making fun of me!”

Odin laughed. “I admit that that was not my intention but I saw an opportunity and I took it. I do require something of you and it is not shoveling Sleipnir’s stall, believe me. Although keep your brother away from him. Thor and Sleipnir have an antagonistic relationship and I can never understand why.”

“That is because Thor pulled his tail when he was young. Afterward he threw a stone at him when he tried to kick him. Thor has since forgotten but I can tell he doesn’t trust the horse either.”

“You remember this? How young were you?”

“After I had begun to walk properly. Thor took me from our room to the stable when we were supposed to be sleeping. I do not remember much from that time but I do remember that.”

“Remarkable.” Odin muttered. “Now, what I wish to speak to you is your taking of the throne as co-regent with your mother while I am away.” Loki looked shocked. 

“Co-re-regent? What? I-Father? I do not wish to rule!” Loki stood and began to pace. “Why? What possible reason could you have to place me on a throne I do not want?”

“Calm yourself, Loki.” Odin pleaded but let him pace until he was able to turn to him. “I know you do not wish to rule but you must still be ready for it. I will be gone three months. For two of those you and Thor will rule along with your mother.”

“So I will be placed upon the throne with Thor?”

“No, your mother. It will be experience you will need if you ever do rule either as king or Regent alone.”

“If Thor dies or does not have sons.” Loki replied. 

“Yes, or goes to war. Your mother may rule in my stead for she does not fight as we do. If a war broke out we would need our strongest warriors and that may or may not require for you or Thor to stay. 

“If Thor does marry Lady Sif she will not idly stay on the throne, it is not in her nature. If Thor marries another who is content to stay alone then you may never have cause as my brothers. There is, of course, the worst of circumstance: Thor’s premature death.

“You must be ready for any, Loki. It is your burden as my second son.” Loki sat next to him. 

After a long moment he whispered: “If I enjoy it?” 

“Then I will gain you a kingdom.” Odin promised. Loki looked at him guardedly. “I have cards yet to play, Loki. It may be done, but at a great cost.”

“But you promise it?”

“I will attempt it.” Odin replied. Loki then nodded. “This will also be good for you if you do wish to take an ambassadorship, my son. I do not wish to place any unwanted weight on your shoulders but it is something you will benefit from greatly.”

Loki nodded. “Thank you, Father. Have you told Thor?” Loki asked. 

“No. I will tell him tomorrow. I will tell him what I have told you and why it is necessary.” He smiled at him. “I did not mean for this to become so heavy. Let us move to lighter subjects. Have I ever told you I named you after my blood brother Loptr?”

“No.” Loki replied looking at him curiously. “I have never heard of him.”

Loki sat and listened as Odin recounted for the first time in the longest of times the stories of his long deceased brother.


	9. Chapter 9

Thor smiled as Odin entered his rooms. “Father! What do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” 

“I come to spend time with you, today, as I did with your brother yesterday.” A look of irritation came over his face before disappearing with a smile. 

“Oh? What about?” Thor asked with honest curiosity. Odin had him sit. 

“I must speak with you over serious matters. As you know I will be leaving, I have spoken with your mother over my plans and she agrees. For a month of my absence you will rule as co-regent with your mother.” Thor looked shocked. “That was your brother’s reaction as well.” Odin replied amused.

“Loki? Why would he be shocked?” Thor asked confused. 

“He will run the first month, you the second.”

“Should it not be the other way around, Father? I will be king.”

“Your brother must be ready to rule as well, Thor.” He explained the same as he had with Loki and saw Thor’s expression shift. He went from irritated to anger to understanding and shifted again to anger. It seemed that some of Thor at least did understand the reason he wished to place Loki on the Thor but his childish rivalry with is brother caused his jealousy to win. Odin resisted the urge to massage his temple.

Thor needed to mature as well and get over such pettiness. Odin felt irritated; he thought Thor would have outgrown this by now. As children it was understandable but he was nearly an adult. He decided that perhaps letting his irritation show was not ill advised. He saw Thor looked surprised. 

“Father?”

“You’re jealous.” He said simple. 

“No, it is merely…you have changed as of late.” Thor replied. “I find you spending more time with Loki and I wonder as to the cause. Have I done something to displease?” Odin laughed. 

“No my son, there is nothing wrong you have done. It is in fact I who have been wrong.” He looked at him seriously. “Thor can you recall a time I have not been in your life, listened to your sorrows, your troubles? How about with your mother?”

“Of course not.” Thor replied sounding puzzled as though he were trying to find the root of Odin’s inquiry, trying to see what prompted it. 

“I find myself agreeing as well for I have many fond memories of you but I have few of your brother.” Odin replied. Thor’s brow furrowed. “You do not understand.” Odin sighed and Thor shook his head. “You are my sons, I should have equal memories of you both or near close as I can obtain. I do not want to die with the thought that I never knew my son.”

“You are dying?” Thor asked alarmed. Odin paused. Thor flushed. “I am sorry, Father, I know what you meant it merely startled me.” He licked his lips. “So you wish to spend more time with Loki…and less time with me?”

“In order to spend more time with Loki I must spend less time with you.” Odin corrected. “It must balance out.” He walked toward him, Thor looked up at his approach. “I have failed as a parent in two respects, I have failed to give the attention he deserves and I have given you far too much of it.” Thor looked hurt but even then Odin could still see the traces of jealousy clinging to the edges of that expression. 

“You misunderstand me.” Odin replied and sat next to his son. “This does not mean I love you less, Thor, nor does it mean that I dislike your presence and company. It is a simple balancing, my son.” Thor nodded though the hurt still remained. 

“Do you understand why I am allowing you two to rule?”

“We must be ready to rule, either of us.” Thor recited from his lessons. 

“Yes, and as such you must have practical knowledge of it. Out of the two of you I would say Loki is better set for the throne at this time.” Thor looked shocked. “You will make a fine king, one day, Thor but you must learn to temper yourself first. You are easily angered or distracted by praise.” He said simply not wishing to soothe his son’s stung feelings. 

“I had my own faults as a young man that I had to work through and set aside my own wants to be a better king, a better man, and person overall.” He continued when Thor looked like he was paying attention. “Neither of you is ready to rule, not truly, but I hope this will allow you to see the practical aspects of ruling and negotiation. Your mother will be there to assist you of course.” 

“Then why must Loki go first?”

“Thor, you spoiled boy, is that all you can think of?” Odin asked annoyed. Thor had the decency to look abashed. “You will each rule as I have decreed and you will not question it. You will not undermine your brother nor will you ask for his assistance during your month.” 

“But I want him as my counsel.” 

“Your brother does not wish to be your counselor nor advisor.” Odin replied. 

“Since when?”

“For how long I cannot say but he has disclosed his wishes to travel in order to study his craft, and possibly about becoming an ambassador.” Thor nodded but Odin saw the seeds of doubt there, the doubt that his family was working without him. Odin grabbed his son’s hand and grasped it encouragingly. Thor looked at him. “Loki has no aspirations to overthrow you Thor, nor does it mean he loves you less.

“I travelled the Nine as a youth and found it invigorating but had to return to Asgard for my duties.” Thor cut him off suddenly. 

“I never thought Loki would wish to overthrow me. He’s my brother!” Thor protested with such vehemence that Odin found some of his doubts vanishing. Thor was a stupid and selfish boy sometimes but he still loved his brother under it all. Now if they could make that be a priority rather than afterthought, he thought. 

“I saw that thought cross you mind however vague, it was there. You love him but at the same time you doubt him.”

“I love Loki, Father.” Thor said. “But he is so strange, odd, at least when compared to myself and my friends. I do not know what we may speak of. He dislikes adventuring and hunting.”

“Your brother likes adventure but his own kind rather than yours. My brother and I like music but for all the life of me do I hate the music from Vanaheim. I cannot find it appealing at all but Ve loves it like a native Vanir.” Odin said. “I still went to festivals with him and he accompanied me to mead halls to sing with the mortals about our good fates and fortunes. You must balance it, Thor. When was the last tie you went with Loki to a place he truly wished?”

“I accompanied him to that mountain to visit his friend, Merkur Zevson.”

“If I recall that meeting you were banished from that place after getting into a fight with his father.” 

“Zevs had it coming.” Thor muttered darkly. “He tried to steal my title.”

“He is older than you.” Odin replied trying not to laugh. 

“It is still my title.” Thor defended. “Does this mean I am a bad brother?”

“Perhaps, or perhaps you, like myself, must try to learn know your brother better. Compromise, Thor, it is not the darkest of words, much less with family.” 

“I will try, Father.”

“Try, my son.” Odin said; not aiming at any promises. He hoped his son could keep it true nonetheless. 

Thor nodded and they spent the rest of the evening discussing the exact specifics of what would take place while Odin was gone. 

Odin hoped he was not making a mistake.


	10. Chapter 10

“Father, please reconsider your decision.” Loki begged him. Odin frowned as he saw his son pace yet again. Odin stood and took him by his hands and held him across from himself. “I am not ready.” Loki added when he stopped. “I will make a mockery of this throne.”

“You will not. You will do me proud and it is because you are not ready that you require this experience, we have spoken about this at length.” 

“I know but Father…” Odin shushed him. Loki sighed. “I am nervous and I fear I will lose my silver tongue when faced by our citizens.” 

“You will be fine. Come, tomorrow I have the honor of presenting you as regent.” Loki smiled.

“I will miss you.” 

“I will be back.”

“It does not change the sentiment.” Odin smiled and drew him into a proper hug. Loki returned him. 

“Make me proud, son.” Loki nodded and smiled. Odin returned it in turn. “Come, we act as if I were dying. We have been apart longer.”

“Yet I cannot say why it feels differently.” Odin’s smile widened. 

“I can say I echo your sentiment, my boy. I do not wish to leave but I must.”

“Will you not tell us?”

“No. I cannot.” Loki sighed and nodded. 

“You know my tricks, Father. I cannot spy on you.” Odin smiled.

“I’m sure you have more than one more trick hidden in your pockets.” Loki just smiled. 

“Mischievous boy.” Odin laughed. “Come, your brother and mother are waiting for us in the dining room.” Loki nodded and they headed out.

The next day Odin announced the temporary regencies of both his sons. The public was stunned; it was an uncommon move on Odin’s part; however the support was extraordinary when he presented each of them.

Odin kept from frowning at the louder applause at Thor’s announcement. Loki noticed it but Odin merely glanced at him. Loki gave a quick smile in his direction and settled down. Frigga, as acting monarch, stepped away with Loki. Thor stood to the side, smiling proudly at them and he and Odin trailed after them. The crowd roared in approval.

It appeared Asgard liked the fact that their princes would get practical experience. Odin recalled his earlier years of rule and understood their joy. Thor’s smile slipped when they entered the palace. “I am nervous, Father.” Thor told him quietly.

“You will be fine, son. Learn from your brother and he will learn from you.” He told him. “Speak with Loki. Remember what I told you, and you two will be well.” Thor nodded. Loki turned to them and frowned. 

“Brother! Come we must celebrate!”

“That is what the feast is for.” Loki told him smiling. “Oaf.”

“Bah! There is always a feast. We must celebrate this opportunity our father has granted us. Let us go do something else before the feast.”

Loki glanced at him. Odin smiled openly at them. “Go, we will see each other later.” Loki nodded.

“My sons do not be late.” Frigga called after them. Both boys nodded in the same manner and interval as when they had been children. Odin hid his amusement.

Frigga smiled at him. “I hope you find what you seek.”

“As do I.” 

“They need you, so you must return as soon as you can.”

“They need you as well.”

“You know what I mean.” Frigga said. 

“They need us both.” Odin amended. “We must prepare them so they can act alone, live alone. They are adults but still need our guidance.”

“They will be fine.”

Odin exited the Bifrost to land on Midgard in a remote location. He took a deep breath, changed his appearance. He did not take the same appearance of when he visited Vil but rather changed into that of a red haired, stocky man with two brown eyes. His own wife would not recognize him. He would not go back to Asgard immediately; instead he would travel to Vanaheim then proceed to Asgard.

He had had such a hard time leaving, feeling like he had left too much undone but he had to make this trip. He knew it in the very core of being. He tried to keep the image of his family before he had left them: Frigga, tall and understanding. Thor had stood proud and anxious with his brother next to him; ready to prove him but knowing he must wait. Loki had looked ready to gnaw at his nails (a habit they had barely broken a century before) but looking at him with barely concealed eagerness. 

He had hugged them, kissed his wife, and then left to Midgard in nothing more than travel clothing and no guards. His first destination took him to a small village full of pure Vanir. He knows they look at him with suspicion, for they recognize him as Aseir. He had conquered Vanaheim ages ago, leaving behind a government and his own laws and although peace had long been in place, the Vanir still did not trust the Asier.

But there were many mixed marriages among his peoples it surprised to see so many pure Vanir. He entered the tavern and took a seat at the bar. The people around him whispered. He could recognize the language of the Vanir, the All Speak made it unnecessary to learn many languages but it was still a part of the royal education. The All Speak could only do so much and at times it was good to _talk_ without everyone understanding you, especially the lesser beings.

He waited to be served but the bar tender ignored him. He was about to order him when he realized he was not Odin All Father here. He sighed and cleared his throat. “Excuse me, I would like to spend the night here.”

“No rooms.” the keep said and kept at his organization. He looked around.

“There are plenty of free rooms.”

“No rooms. Occupied.” he said. “You’ll have to sleep in the woods.” Odin’s patience, never a strong point, snapped.

“I demand a room. There are plenty of availabilities.”

“All right, how’s this for you? We don’t serve your kind. Won’t until this land is ours again and we are free do so by the laws of Vanaheim and Asgard. No war, no need to put up with the Aseir nor their folks. And you aren’t a nobleman by any means from the looks of it so I certainly don’t have to cater to you for coin.” The bartender spat.

Odin let out a slow breath and his fingers twitched for Gungnir. 

“Ready for a fight? Course you are, savages the lots of you.” The keep said and ignored him. Odin left glaring at the smiling children and maids. What he would do when he got back…

He went into the woods and decided Vanaheim was no place to start, at least not there. He walked to the capital. Civilization, at least he hoped so. The trip took the majority of the day. When he reached it the lights from the streets guided him to an inn where he found a room for what he believed was more than fair price.

He would need to address that when he got back to Asgard. He concluded. He stays two days, in that time he hears what they say about Loki’s regency. The topic is mostly stilted and speculation as to his decision is not as rampant as he expected but Vanaheim is not Asgard. They had other worries, taxation by the ruling leader due to shortages in their textiles leading to less revenue for the province than expected. Food shortages were feared if it did not rain.

Odin does not remember reading about this and makes a note to follow up with that as soon as he returned home. He would not tolerate being lied to the true conditions of his kingdom. Vanaheim did not like Loki or Thor more than the other; they considered them each as legitimate a ruler as him (many varying opinions).

The night before he left, Odin considered Vanaheim and potentially gifting that to Loki. The Vanir and Loki had more alike with each other than with Thor, valuing scholarship, logic, and magic over strength, warfare, and warrior culture. On the other hand Loki was still a child of Asgard. He had seen him fight and be just as blood thirsty as any others if in the right situation.

No, perhaps Vanaheim would be better still allowed to self-rule as it had been allowed to rule as it had since the conquest. He thought of Jotunheim, more similar to Asgard than most would care to admit but still so different. Would Loki rule that well? Would he even wish to?

The more he thought of it the more irrational it seemed: Jotunehim was always just so much out of Loki’s (his, really) grasp. Loki, Thor, Asgard (racial relations, economy, etc), Vanaheim (same, more…)- He had more important things to worry about than needless conquest. He shook his head. It was never easy being king.

He slept and then he called on Heimdall to bring him to Asgard. Heimdall greeted him, showing no signs of recognizing him. He bought a horse and rode to the country, up north and into the mountains where the majority of the Jotnar of Asgard lived. 

He rode fast and hard, driven by the image of tiny blue fists and a face filled with tears before he had picked him up.


	11. Chapter 11

Odin’s journey took three days. Along the way he bought supplies he needed, hunted and found himself feeling liberated in a way he had not for centuries. He grinned as he saw the looming villages in the distance. The Capital was huge, imposing with little of the way of green space between it and the surrounding towns. Of course other villages and cities had their own varying architecture, though far less impressive. The Jotun-quarter, if it could be called that, of Asgard was imposing in its own way. 

The Jotun could grow ridiculously tall. He himself had a maternal cousin who could barely fit in the palace when they were young. They had been adolescents at that time as well, Odin was certain he had grown taller. He frowned. He had not heard from his mother’s people in a very long time. 

The majority had died off, old age and time their enemy. A small number lived here, on Asgard, distant relations that could make no claim to the throne, if they remembered. The rest, the large remainder, had stayed on Jotunheim. He had thought about them in the war, afterward. Then time had slipped by him; his immediate worries laying in rebuilding his kingdom and the raising of his children.

He stared at the spires, jagged and smooth in an almost unpleasant way. The gold that lined the halls of Asgard were barely present here, in trimmings set in almost an afterthought. The dominant colors were greys, blues, and pure dazzling white and a few trimmings of black and red. His mother had once told him that the Jotnar could see the world in color but not the same ways as the Aesir. 

He had never thought of it before, about the aesthetics. His mother had worn Asgardian clothing and color schemes, having grown accustomed to them, he thought. It had been far too long since he had thought about his mother in such detail. Odin missed her. 

He made the last few miles solemnly, his good mood overshadowed. The first village he encountered barely contained any jotnar. He saw a majority of traders, for fur and wood, and the houses he saw were mostly old. He saw three couples, two male and one female Aesir, with a Jotun partner. No one paid him any attention. 

He kept riding, until the next village along the main road came up. It was definitely more Jotnar than not. The few Aesir he saw were mostly guards. He looked around and saw children pointing at him. A small barefooted girl toddled after her tall mother. The girl stopped and stared at him. He saw she wore a small ice crown on her head. 

She offered him a wide smile. Odin returned it. The mother stopped and glanced at him suspiciously. “Come along, Sigrun.” The name was Asgardian, which surprised Odin. The little girl kept looking at him. 

Sigrun placed one hand over her eye and said with all the eloquence of a toddler. “I am Odin. King!” She continued in a babbling and excited squeal, something he couldn’t decipher. Her thumb went into her mouth after the declaration. 

“Sigrun!” The girl giggled and ran after her mother. Odin couldn’t help his smile. The girl was playing at being him, he couldn’t help but feel please. Then frowned. Unless what he couldn’t understand had been insultive. He shook his head. She was a child, the child would not play him a villain unless with others. 

Her small feet had left small impressions in the dirt. Loki hadn’t liked shoes at that age either. Conversely, Thor cried if he wasn’t wearing stockings or shoes when placed on the ground. Only his crib and bed were acceptable shoeless. Odin didn’t know how many shoes his eldest had ruined by bathing in them. 

Odin kept riding, slower now, and watched the town. His eye taking in the details. Odin All-Father was a stranger here. Odin Borson was a stranger. It felt invigorating. He saw several shops offering different kinds of goods and food that were lacking even in the capital. 

He lit up when he saw a sweet his mother had given him as a child. He use to love those but hadn’t had the pleasure eating one in centuries. He wanted to stop and purchase one. He continued riding around the rest of the village. There was a butcher, a small pub and inn, a smithy, and the usual small shops. It was calm. 

The guards were watching him with a bored expression. Odin knew the horse was getting tired and led him to the inn. The innkeeper gave him a room and placed the horse in the stable. He took his supper in the inn alone, he doubted many people visited that far into the mountains without cause.

He knew there was a college and training school nearby, or had been; he couldn’t remember if it still existed. The innkeeper was an older Jotun dressed comfortably in Asgardian clothing. He wondered if he had been born in Asgard. Odin tipped the man comfortably. 

The Jotun raised a brow. “Are you planning on staying for awhile?” He asked amicably. 

“Perhaps. I am still unsure.” Odin replied honestly. “I have not ventured here in a while. I would like to see how it is.”

“Not many Aesir venture out here unless assigned when completing their service.” Odin nodded. That was true. 

“My mother was Jotun.” Odin admitted. That was hardly an unusual scenario; it wouldn’t immediately raise any alarms. “I cannot visit Jotunheim comfortably so I decided to venture here.” 

The Jotun grinned. “Though you show no signs of this heritage it does me well to here you come and visit us in search of it.” The Jotun clapped him heartily on the back. “Well met cousin! I hope you find some answers you seek. Most Aesir in your place are quick to point out their Aesir parent rather than Jotun. As though our blood is any less than the other.” He snorted. 

“That I can agree with.” Odin said solemnly. “I’ve been rather...disturbed by what I feel I am just realizing. My sons hate the Jotnar and I feel as though I have failed them.” The Jotun shook his head sorrowfully. 

“Perhaps you just see it but we Jotun, full blooded should I say kinsman, have felt it since before the war when hostilities were brewing. After the loss of the war we were slowly driven from the cities. You wouldn’t have heard anything from it but threats are effective enough when you have children to think of, when you know the guards will not listen.” 

Odin felt alarmed he hadn’t believed this. “I had noted a loss of Jotun in the city but through it to be a natural migration.”

“In part, we wished to live together or in peace. We are neither welcome in Jotunheim, traitors, or Asgard among the Aesir, enemies and monsters. To them we are traitors in the making. We cannot participate in the national service though King Odin decrees it for fear of passing on tactics to Jotunheim.”

“Would not the men and women who miss be arrested?” The Jotun laughed. 

“It would be overlooked. You cannot prosecute for something they wish to avoid. Perhaps in the cities you will see the young Jotnar serve, though I will wager it is rare.” 

“I am far too old to realize this.”

“It was a passive change.” The Jotun said in condolence. “It passed most of us and was here before we realized it. Hindsight.” He said wisely.

“Is it not always that?” Odin replied ruefully. “I have done so much and yet I have done it wrongly. My sons are nearly fully grown and I have so many regrets. There is time but I fear, I fear I will not instill in them that which I should have.”

“If there is time, there is hope.” The Jotun replied. He held out his hand “Farulfr Hallgilson.” He introduced. Odin took it in his. While squeezing it, Odin felt that the other’s strength and knew that without a doubt his own grip was stronger despite Farulfr’s size. The giant grinned, apparently now believing he was the son of a Jotun. 

“Gautr.” He replied. “Gautr Sverrison.” 

“Well met.”

“Well met.” Farulfr sat across from him. 

“Come, kinsman, from where do you hail?”

Odin smiled and told him about the small town where he had been raised in for part of his childhood. The Jotun listened and treated him to mead. Before he went to sleep he looked out the window. He saw the town sleeping and calm. 

How deceiving looks could be, he thought. It was so idyllic here but the same could be said of the capital. It all depended on circumstance.

He slept with a heavy heart. In the morning shouting woke him. He rose quickly and rushed down stairs. He found a drunken As youth insulting Farulfr and demanding drink. 

“I protect this town for you worthless lot. I demand a drink!”

“We are not yet open. Only those with room and board or seeking it will get service until luncheon. I’ve told you this time and time before.” Farulfr glanced at him apologetically. 

“Drink or I’ll send the dogs after you.” He slurred. Odin’s temper snapped. He picked up the guard, off duty by the smell of him or he’d have his head once he was back in power. The man, no boy he was barely in the beginnings of manhood, startled and tried to break his grasp. 

“Behave.” The boy struggled. Odin glanced at Farulfr. “Your pigs?” The giant grinned viciously. 

“Behind the stables.” Odin laughed. 

“I have not done this in ages but it appears it must still be done.” He said in disappointment and dragged the boy into the slop. The pigs scattered and the boy sputtered. 

“I will have you arrested for this?” Odin snarled. 

“And I will challenge you!” The boy gawked. “Now be quiet and give me the name of your senior and House.” The boy started to splutter. 

“You cannot-”

“Nor you!” He snarled. “If we go to war you will be one of the first to die! You waste an opportunity to learn here as a drunkard.”

“We are Asgard-”

“There will always be war, small or large, and people will die from it. Do as you will. You bring shame to our kingdom wasting this opportunity.” Odin spat and turned back into the inn. As he stepped in he realized he was still in his only change of sleeping garments and groaned.

“Gautr, you well?”

“Merely realizing I have ruined my clothing. I just purchased these as well.” he said unhappily. “I do hate laundering.” 

“And here I thought it something serious. I will lend you some until you find the will to wash them, my friend.” The Jotun laughed. 

“I will swim in them.”

“All the better encouragement.” Odin glared. 

“Does he bother you often?”

“Not too much, but on occasion.”

“Then I am glad. I would be more ashamed of this situation.” Odin said in disgust and sighed. “I will bathe, if you do not mind. If any other guard bothers you, do not hesitate to reach me.” 

Farulfr stared at him. “Are you noble? Otherwise they will ignore you.”

“No but I am old and stubborn. Nothing wounds the pride of youths as a fight. I know why you do not strike back, they are guards and you do not wish to anger them but me? I am but a visitor. Let them take their anger on me.”

The Jotun laughed and turned back to clean up a bit of the mess the guard he made. Odin went and bathed. He grimaced as he took off his sleeping clothes, now caked in mud and grime. When he returned into his room he found a giant night shirt on his bed. 

Odin laughed. After breakfast he went to buy some sweets.


	12. Chapter 12

“Gautr?” Odin looked over at Farulfr. “You have been staring at the wall for while.”

“I am thinking.” 

“About?”

“My mother.”

“She has passed.”

“Lost to time.” 

“My condolences.”

“Thank you. It has been quite a long time since I have thought about her. I am feeling nostalgic and mournful.” 

“What was your mother like?”

“How is any mother? Loving, stern, protective and supportive. She helped shaped me into who I am. My father was sterner, and colder in a lot of ways. He was always occupied. Mother was always there to lend a kind hand or open ear.”

“My mother was much like your father.” Farulfr said. “My mother was a merchant, she was often away and busy with work. After the war started her business ventures failed and with the last of our previous fortune we moved here.”

“Did you come from the Capitol?”

“No. One of the smaller cities in the Eastern Province, it’s governed by the late King Bor’s cousin.”

“Nylösa?”

“Close, Tønsberg.” 

“Ah, I have a vague familiarity with that city.”

“We were known for our specialty in metals but when the war began our wares began being raided or confiscated for the war effort.”

“Did you not receive recompense?” 

“We should have. I went with my mother to the main military office for it and we were told our lives were recompense enough.” He looked angry. “I was helping my mother in her craft and the loss of her hard work is what killed her in the end. There is no use for that skill here, nor any need. We tried but our merchandise was rejected or returned destroyed, the fine quality items were just taken or vanished.”

“That is awful.” Odin felt sick and thoughts of retribution floated through his mind. 

“It was a long time ago. The main officer who threatened us fell in Jotunheim, this was before we moved. I thought it was justice enough.”

“Would you not like recompense?”

“What good would it do now? I run this inn and run it as best as I can. I operate at a loss most months but come fall when the hunters come up I make enough to break even.”

“Most inns run on the locals.”

“The inn in the village down the road is bigger and better equipped for larger events. I am usually booked for naming days for smaller families and occasionally a small wedding.”

“Plenty of those?”

“Less than I would like but our population is stable and has not decreased after the first few centuries. That loss was mostly deaths due to age or as my mother, a lack of will to live or the like.”

“Did you have plenty of food supplies or medical supplies?”

“Yes, we were not unprepared and most of the Asgardians married to the Jotnar were able to make an honest living here or in the nearby villages.” 

“That is good to hear.” 

“What do you do, Gautr, what field of work do you do?”

“Politics.” Farulfr laughed. 

“That is a good jest, indeed. I can see you throwing out lesser nobles by the hundreds as the guard. Come be truthful!”

“I hunt and craft with a bit of magic to aid.”

“You know magic?”

“Very little, it is not my strength.”

“You have a good living, I hope?”

“It is enough and I hope to retire in a few centuries, if I am lucky.”

“Will you draw a pension?”

“Yes.” Odin replied. “Yourself?”

“No more than the next man. I served in my youth but doubt I will see a cent of it. My daughter will help me here once she comes backs from her studies.”

“The local college, is it still open?”

“Aye! It has actually grown with our arrival. A usual student was a poorer man’s son or a farmer who wished to change fields.”

“It was a training school mostly correct?”

“Yes but we had an influx of merchants, scholars, and educated people as well as a large influx of normal citizenry who wish to be educated but do not pursue higher education often or not until later in life.”

Odin smiled at a stroke of good news. It was good to hear not everything appeared to go down hill for the Jotnar of Asgard. “Who teaches?”

“We do of course! My son is an instructor in the history of Asgard. He was able to study in Vanaheim as well. It was a good experience for his field.” Odin nodded and remembered his trip. 

“I am sorry for the sudden change of topic but I have just been reminded, what have you heard of King Odin’s decree?”

“The Regencies? Yes, we all have. I have my reservations but I will wait to cast judgment.”

“Does it make you worry?”

“Yes.” Farulfr tapped the bar with a hardy thump. “Prince Thor is notorious for his hatred of our kind while the younger prince says less of it I doubt their rule would bring better things for us. As it is we have it good, not horrible, but good. If the princes do not try anything outrageous I will hold hope that nothing worse will happen when one of them truly rules.”

“He has never attacked the Asgardian Jotnar has he?”

“Of course not; politically it would be disastrous! Would you trust him if he had attacked any citizen unprovoked?”

“No, but-“

“There is no more to discuss on that. It is common sense, man.”

“Truth.” Odin shook his head. “Who would you prefer as king?”

“I care not, as long as I may live in peace and my family I do not care.” Farulfr looked around then whispered. “It is not a local council election either so it is not as if my opinion would matter.”

“It always matters.”

“So you say, but you have the luxury of appearing like your As father. Old Heiðr who lives in the most northern region does not, she appears in an odd combination of As and Jotun. Poor woman is ostracized by both of our kind. Though it is rumored her family on both sides had bad blood and to end it the Norns decreed she appear as thus to end both lines.”

“Do you believe that?” Odin asked incredulous.

“No but it makes good talk!”

“That it does!” Odin laughed and shook his head. Then he looked at his cold meal. “I will go for a walk, if you do not mind?”

“Of course not. Be mindful of the guards!” 

“I will. Thank you for the talk. It has been invigorating.”

“No, thank you for letting me talk. It has been a while since I have had a new ear to say this too. If I tried with any one here they would wonder if I was drunk, talking about old news as if it were new!”

Odin smiled. “And you me.” He stood up and yawned. “A walk would do me very good, I have grown lazy. Do you have a school here?”

“Of course, down the main road and past the apothecary.”

“Which is the main road?”

“The dirt one.”

“They are all dirt!”

“Then I cannot help you.” Farulfr sighed. “The one you came upon, Gautr, which other would it be?” Odin glared and muttered about cheeky tavern owners.

Odin went out and looked about. It was still early, only slightly after midday. Most people were working. He went to the school and watched through the windows as the small pupils worked. Then he went past it and walked around just watching. 

This was a simple village, created out of strife not of their own fault but nevertheless still blamed for. He watched guards and saw them point at him but did not move against him. 

He was As, he identified as one but wondered what it would be like to have grown here. Would he have identified more as Jotun or like before like Farulfr stated praise his As heritage and then leave as quickly as he could to move with those who looked like him.

He did not know. 

He walked off one of the more remote trails and found a lake. He would travel a bit more north; explore the other villages before he drew a conclusion, if he could draw one at all.


	13. Chapter 13

The ride to the next village the following morning took less than two hours by horseback. An Aesir or Jotun could cover that amount of ground in the same amount of time or less, even walking. The forest between the two villages was vast but presented no dangers to any wandering travelers. Odin had seen two bands of youngsters on the road, some clearly skipping their lessons for a day of adventure. He had smiled at them, but they steadily ignored his presence. 

The next village is larger. Here he finds some of the spires that he had spotted from the distance days ago The terrain rose then fell just enough to hide them from view from the first village. When he reaches the inn he understands why Farulfr’s business suffers. 

This tavern stands four floors tall with wide entrances large enough to accommodate even the tallest of Jotnar. The exterior reflects its good revenue with a dazzling array of stonework, metalwork, and glasswork. The actual architecture displayed on the building reflected strange mixture of Jotun and Aesir tastes. Farulfr’s own inn was a simple wood and stone building with little attention spared to the details although the interior was inviting and well cared for. 

He travelled slowly across the town and found he couldn’t explore it fully in the course of one day. He found two smaller lodges and took refuge in one. The woman behind the counter was young, in her adolescence and quite beautiful for a Jotun. Were Odin younger he would have tried to win a night in her bed. At it stands the persona he has adopted would win him humiliation rather than conquest with a young maiden 

The girl seemed to sense his less than honorable interest and eyed him warily as he approached her. He smiled at her. “Hello.” His voice is gruff. “I would like a room for a few days.” She nodded. 

“Single?” She trailed her eyes behind him. “How many bags do you have?”

“Naught but one. I will need no help carrying it in.” He said. She looked at him skeptically. 

“As you wish, that will be how long?” She asked for the exact number of days and he told her two. “We will require payment first.” She said hesitantly, her eyes dropping to something below the counter. She told him the amount. 

“Will that include meals?”

“Only breakfast.” She said a bit more surely. 

“How much more coin for full day’s coverage?” She told him. He paid readily. 

“Thank you. Would you like a room with a view of the main street or the gardens?” 

“Gardens-No, the street please.” He told her. It would be better to observe, though the other sight would have been more soothing. 

“Alright. Do you have a horse?”

“I do.”

“I will bring him into the stable for you.”

“Thank you.” she nodded and escorted him to a room. The room was small but well furnished and comfortable looking. “This is acceptable, thank you.” He said and she left him with a key. He went back down for his day bag and she took his horse from him. She towered over him by two heads. It was odd to remember that there was a time when this sensation of being small was normal with his mother and her people. 

The day still had a few hours left and he went exploring the rest of the city by foot. He found the stores to be better stocked than the last village and the quality of clothing to be decent. He ate at a restaurant that offered food that ranged from the southern part of the kingdom. He relished the spiciness and the way the food had been adapted here where some of the spices would be uncommon.

The restaurant patrons glanced at him with concern and he wondered how well he stood out from this crowd. He felt sated by the food and continued travelling, making sure he did not become lost. It was a large village and Odin remembered the map he had glanced at before his visit to the area. He did not recall a village this size on the map.

It certainly existed but the attention paid to it would have made him think otherwise. The mountains were supposed to be barely habituated but clearly he had underestimated how much the maps had underreported. A music hall caught his attention and he decided to spend his evening there. 

He paid for a ticket and entered. He barely caught an Aesir in sight. He attempted to relax and watch the performance. He could not. He found himself become unsettled and unusually angry. He was being lied to about the state of his kingdom. 

He knew his advisors and counselors would report that he had not been misled but rather his attention drawn to that which they had deemed important. Odin, despite his one eye, was not blind. He could watch the Realm from wherever he stood, though the best venue was on the throne and enhanced with Gungnir. 

He had seen a happy race of people and when he had spared the attention to this Realm it appeared well maintained enough to his satisfaction. He had sensed no rebellion brewing and now wished he had cast more attention the regions themselves. Asgard, the Capital, boasted the highest population of the kingdom so the largest reports to its productivity and status. The affairs of the kingdom itself superseded his home both domestically and within the other Realms. Vanaheim drew a close second.

He thought all was well. Now watching the happy and eager Jotnar leave he tried to think when he had last caught sight of it in the Capital. No rebellion brewed because spirits were no doubt crushed. Rejected in Asgard and upon Jotunheim the citizens had no where to turn to for refuge save here in there mountains, which thankfully had not meant their death with its harsh winters and prolonged periods of drought. 

He would visit a library tomorrow, he had not seen one in the last village but towns this size always held one, even the smallest. Then he would glance at a map. Then he would ask for an official map of the kingdom and compare them. He would not be lied to again once he returned but first he had more exploration to do. 

He would survey and make sure his citizens were well care for or had enough. He would not be surprised if a city lay hidden among these mountains; a frozen jewel awaiting only those brave enough to venture here without prejudice. 

He wondered if it would be carved of ice and appear like the once grand cities of Jotunheim, that once that had stood in the time of his Mother and before the War with Laufey. And yet, he dared not go further for he feared he would miss Loki’s rule and its effect. He would be given a month yes but time passed so quickly…

He did not wish to overlook his son once again even with his own kind, his people. Yet, if stood before his son and hovered over him he would not truly see the errors and achievements of either Loki or Thor. He trusted Frigga and knew that rumors would still abound of mistakes made from the regencies, and travel fast even to this corner of the kingdom. 

He returned the inn in a foul mood. He ate his supper quietly. The maiden from the morning was gone, replaced by an older woman with similar looks, her mother no doubt. She glanced at him concerned but he ignored her. 

He slept fitfully.

1274


	14. Chapter 14

Odin woke up with a shudder. The morning was colder than the others had been. He eyed the room and spotted the hearth. He had drawn the blinds prior to sleeping. The fire roared to life with his magic. 

He gave a smug grin as the room began to warm. He exited the bed and opened the blinds. It was early and he could see the village starting to come to life. He grumbled when he saw the Jotnar dressed as if it were a normal spring day rather than much cooler than yesterday. 

Mother had passed on many traits to him and his brothers, extreme affinity to cold he had not. Ve and Vil could live here with out a care. Odin preferred to have a nice coat to keep away the chill. 

He went down for his morning meal. The young woman from yesterday was not there again; a large male Jotun was at the desk with a bored look on his face. He spotted Odin and nodded at him. 

“Hungry?” 

“Yes. What is there to eat?” Odin asked. A light conversation followed with the Jotun asking him much the same questions Farulfr had once meeting him. The man had relaxed and his demeanor changed sharply when he had mentioned his mother had been Jotun. It appeared to be the key to an honest conversation. 

Odin savored his meal. Whoever had cooked the meal was a skilled cook. He had to find a chef or cook to bring with him to the palace. Perhaps Loki would like it as well, the poor palace chefs knew Loki was quite particular when given a choice. 

After he was done he asked about any libraries in the region.

“Gautr, you certainly are curious.” He asked with a look of suspicion. “Why do you seek the library?”

“I am thinking the map I purchased prior to coming will not serve me well. There is no mention of this town being as large as it is. I wish not to get lost or be caught unawares again.” The man relaxed. 

“You are right but the local shop will sell maps just as good as those at the library. You will need to ask for a real map however.”

“Yes, an official map would certainly prove useless.” Odin replied. “However I wish to read as well and see what else I may be missing on. I saw an entertaining show yesterday and I wish to be able to tell my sons more of the accomplishments of the people here than just how charming the villages are.” The man nodded. 

“We have several books for sale if you are interested, local artists of course and if you wish to have more academic material then I suggest the local college.” 

“I certainly will.” He wanted to see how well the college managed with what he suspected were limited funds. He suspected that funding would not have increased over the years even with the increased enrollment. “Perhaps I may come and study myself.” 

“As long as you do not find the seats a bit too tall for your liking I believe you will have no difficulties studying there.” Odin glowered. 

“I have not felt so small in quite a long time.” 

“Then I suggest you not travel up further than the next two villages.” Odin’s curiosity was piqued. The man grinned. “Now, for the library. We have four in town that I know of, the largest one is located just off the main road past the butcher, it will open shortly and the smaller ones at midday. The nearest one with the best selection I know of is the one near the general store two roads from here.” Odin weighed his options, while the larger one had more items; the smaller one more likely had more condensed, essential information. 

“I will think it over. Perhaps look over the town as well.” The man nodded and went back to tending to his business. Odin was alone in the building and watched as the streets filled with men and women. He saw a group of children, quite young, pass with a happy chatter. 

He had seen quite a number of children. Would they grow to resent Asgard and Jotunheim? Would they feel as lost as how Loki had been with him, still truly was? Odin would do better by both and make sure Thor was ready to do the same as well. He couldn’t overlook one son for the other again. 

He stood and went to the smaller library after verifying the direction from them innkeeper. It was close enough where he wouldn’t have to take the horse but Odin still wanted to explore the town. The horse made quick work of the distance and waited for him outside the small building. 

Small was a relative word; all the buildings towered over him. A normal story was tall enough to accommodate the Jotnar with ease. He entered and made sure to shake off any snow and dirt that clung to his boots. 

The place was silent. He passed the lobby and spotted an Aesir women behind the first counter he encountered. She looked surprised as he felt as seeing her. He had hardly seen an Aesir here outside of the guards. For a moment they merely stared at each other. The she found here composure. 

“May I help you?”

“Yes, I am looking for several items.” He told exactly what he needed. She paused and had him sit at a table he thought was for children. She came with several books, the binding on several was quite weak and she instructed him to treat them with quite a bit of care.

He thanked her and worked through the material. The first book told him what he had seen before at the Palace Library. The ‘official’ version of his kingdom. The very fact that this was even a problem angered him. The he looked at the ‘unofficial’ version. This book was more worn, larger hands handling the giant tome with care but consistent use. He smiled when he saw the writing on the sides of a few pages. 

He looked at the villages that were scattered through out the mountain. He had been right. There was a city lying in these cloud filled mountains. Three, if he was reading the map right. Not particularly large cities but they were still there. He searched the books he had been provided and found very little on the cities. 

Had the woman merely excluded them or were these things they were careful to divulge to outsiders. He felt the woman’s stare through out his sitting. Was she like him, the product of a Jotun-Aesir marriage or the wife of a Jotun? Or perhaps she simply sympathized with the Jotnar here. 

He kept reading. There was very little on the history of the region aside from that written by local authors about prominent figures and town founders. He had no desire to read biographies and quickly discarded them. 

He caught the librarian’s attention again. He requested books on the college. She still looked at him suspiciously but brought them out. This is what had his attention. He again read the official version of the school, which was quite brief in a larger book about the schools in the kingdom and a local tome that had more details on the courses of study. 

He read the entire book and decided to hold off all assumptions until he was able to see his tax records and local municipal records. Who governed this region? He wondered. The name eluded him. 

He merely kept notes and gently closed the books. He thanked the librarian and, despite his curiosity as to her presence, left. He moved towards the general store and purchased a map. Then he road around town again and made his decision to venture forth in the region for the rest of the month, the he would venture into Asgard, and finally Vanaheim again. 

When he returned to his room for the evening he found organized his notes and counted his funds. He had plenty and his magic would keep away the fingers of any would be thief. Still, as a simple man he would eventually have to leave or change his identity to avoid suspicion. The latter was simpler and easy to do. The horse was simple enough in color that he wouldn’t be memorable but he could change him as well. 

He went out in the evening and walked to the local shop. He needed to see how well Loki was doing. A low simmer of anger burned through him. He was no stranger to manipulation of news and facts, he had done enough in the War to keep up moral but to have it done to him? 

The news of his temporary reign littered the news and it soothed his spirits as he read over dinner. The talk around him was generally in favor of the rule and Odin wondered how much support they would have if they knew of Loki’s species. If Loki had known of his own species perhaps things would have different between them and his attitude against them. Though it appeared not to be his own opinion. 

 

He had failed as a father but Heimdall’s words rang through him. There was still time. Odin looked out his window that evening and began to compose a letter. Odin All Father may be gone from the throne but that did not mean Odin All Father was gone. 

His son would need to know his support and that was keeping track of him, that he had not yet overlooked him once more. He finished the letter and sent it via the couriers. It would reach his brother Vil, then Loki. 

His Loki would know his support. For the first time since he had left Odin missed his family as though he had been gone for centuries. He would have written to Frigga and Thor but the time for that had not yet come. This was Loki’s moment and Odin would make it known even if he were not there. 

He did not cast his eye to Asgard. He would wait.


	15. Chapter 15

Loki held Gungnir in a firm grip as he neared his rooms. The guards around him shifted in high alert as if waiting for an assassin. They had acted like that since the beginning of his regency. It irritated him but he understood their concern.

Father was gone and while he was powerful, he was not invincible. His guards were the final line of defense that surrounded him and his family at the Palace. If anyone managed to by pass all the others the guards would fight to the death to keep him from the danger. 

Of course if something did happen Father would have their heads, most likely quite literally. Loki’s own head had been taken three times from him, each time returned by an irritated guard before he had perfected that particular spell. Father had not been pleased, to say the least. 

He smiled. He could not wait to see Father again. Loki was still unsure how he felt about Odin’s secrecy and endeavor. He was surprised at how grateful he was at the chance to prove himself on the throne. Moreover, he most assuredly did not wish to rule if this brief stint was anything to go by. Father had taught them well but clearly he still had a lot to learn (Norns knew how much Thor had to learn given his temper). 

He entered his chambers and let himself slump. He wished Father would return already or Thor’s opportunity came quicker. He placed Gungnir reverently against his wall near his own spear. His lips quirked. Father still owed him a fight and Loki was practicing. 

He changed into his casual clothes and headed toward his sitting room. A knock at the doors of his rooms had him glowering. He walked to the entrance and pulled the door open quickly, his displeased expression startled the guard on the other side. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry for the disturbance, Your Highness, but we thought you would like to receive this now.” He glanced at the letter in his hand. 

“And that is-?” He asked sarcastically. 

“A letter, from His Majesty, King Odin.” Loki’s expression faltered. Father. He snatched the letter and nodded. 

“You were right to bring this to me.” The guard bowed and left. He closed the door and quickly walked to his sitting room. He sat in his favorite chair and stared at the letter. 

Why had Father sent him a letter? 

Loki opened the seal holding the parchment and pulled it out with a trembling hand. For a moment he stared, then he began to read the letter. The trepidation that he had not noticed in his stomach melted away, turning into something warm and pleasant. He smiled despite himself. 

His eyes kept reading over the words: I’m proud of you and your accomplishments.


	16. Chapter 16

Odin walked briskly into the hotel. The closest city had turned out to be larger than he had imagined, both in terms of height and sprawl. Odin smiled at the hotel concierge and walked up to his room. He entered, saw no one had entered in the time he had been out and shook the small sprinkle of snow off his cloak.

He dropped of the few purchases he made onto this bed. Frigga would love the scarf and herbs. Thor would probably not appreciate the new cape as he would not recognize the material, but Odin had paid a pretty bundle for it. He thought of keeping it for himself but didn’t have any need for it. Loki would enjoy the tomes and small pack of sweets he’d purchased. 

He tapped his fingers on the table next to his bed. He touched one of the panels on the wall, the room's safe appeared. He packed away the items, save the sweets. Loki and Thor would enjoy those. He wished to send it to them, he’d take more upon his return. 

Odin glanced out of the window and watched as a light snow fell over the town. He had sent out the letter days ago and wondered if Loki had received the letter by now. What would he think? Had he received it at all? And Thor, how did he fair? And Frigga... he missed his wife.

He should bring them here, he thought. Do a round about the kingdom and show his court this beauty. The snow fell and he felt too hot in the coat he had bought. This was not Jotunheim for all it appeared to be so at times; he felt like he had wasted money he no longer could spend as he wished. 

He pulled off his coat and threw it across the room. He had come across the first city on his map and decided to explore it. He glanced at the street and saw the change of guards, the easy and happy exchange between them. He went out and watched as he saw the face of a young man, clearly just enlisted. He still had the traces of youth on his face.

The young guard looked nervous upon seeing him, his female companion smiled at him. “Aldúlfr!” She called. “I would have thought you would have left after your shivering yesterday.” She teased.

“It will take more than snow to drive these old bones from my goal, Folkvé.”

“I would have thought else yesterday.” she laughed. “Are you sure its was not your great-great-grandmother who was Jotun rather than Mother.” He glowered and the man next to him laughed. He looked embarrassed and horrified after a moment. He decided to put the poor man out of his misery. “And who is this fellow?”

“Ástráðr, sir.” The boy replied with a barely concealed stutter.

“I’m hardly that old to warrant such formality and of no noble blood to have it foisted upon me.” Odin replied. The boy shifted.

“Let him be, Aldi.” Folkvé replied with a somewhat stern expression. “He’s from Nylösa.” Odin did not know what that meant and felt he had yet another thing to investigate. Odin feigned understanding and nodded.

“My apologies. How are you enjoying your service?” he asked Ástráðr. The boy shifted uncertainly.

“Is is alright. I started early so it will end sooner than with most. I had considered serving as a guard full time but you know how it is.” he finished. No, Odin did not but like everything continued. 

"I know it has been problematic, to say the least, but surely you have brought these concerns and troubles to the nobles? How about the royal house? Surely the king cares about his subjects, Jotnar or not."

“His Majesty? We are citizens, but do not enjoy all its advantages. King Odin has done nothing to correct these errors in his long reign.” Folkvé said. “I doubt it will change nor the king care as long as the armies are strong and able to defend the kingdom.”

“You told me you joined with a career in mind, Folkvé.” Odin replied, slightly upset at the opinion against him. 

“I have no other options. My parents’ farm needs not another hand and I do not have the skills for anything else. If I were Aesir…” She gave a wistful sigh. “However my children will not suffer such a fate.” She replied sternly. “I am betrothed to a halfling who does not mind a Jotun wife. My children will appear Aesir and can move forward in this Realm.” 

“What about the college?”

“I have not the money.”

“I understand.” He replied. She smiled as though remembering something. She patted the back of the boy.

“Ástráðr, you must come test your strength against old Aldi on our next break!” Folkvé said after a moment of silence. “He out matched everyone of our people!”

“My mother had a firm grip.” he replied, not to mention his father had been one of the strongest of Asgard as well.

“I don’t know, Folka.” He said unhappily. “What good would that do?”

“I buy the drinks.” Odin added. The boy’s face grew considerate.

“Even if I lose?”

“Of course.” The boy shifted and nodded.

“Alright.” 

Folkvé grinned. “Good, now that is settled. Aldúlfr, are you up for our practice tomorrow?” Odin grimaced.

“I must. I will not lose a wager to my son so easily.” He replied. “I have not seen battle in quite some time and practice is not quite what it use to be.”

“What wager?” Ástráðr asked cautiously.

“My son has agreed to go against me with a spear upon my return home. States I have been gone too long from the battlefield, not to even mention training ground.” he shook his head. “I give him a roof over his head and this is how I am repaid.” He sighed. Ástráðr laughed. “Youthes.”

“You are not so old, Aldi.” Folkvé called. “My grandmother is as old as you and she’s quite spry.” Odin glared. The two laughed harder. He shook his head.

“I must go post these, if you excuse me.”

“Do not think I will not hunt you down if you miss tomorrow!” Folkvé called. Odin waved back at her. He headed toward the post (again poor Vil would be charged with delivering his packages to his sons; he didn’t trust Ve not to eat them). 

He scanned the street. The only guards he had seen were Jotnar, from distant cities. Odin had chanced at meeting a flurry of new recruits who held a look of awe on their faces when viewing the city. Odin had the feeling it was a deliberate, not so much to hide the cities but to entice the Jotnar to migrate after their service was complete. 

They could not move them out with violence, because even if the Jotnar were hated they were still citizens of Asgard. They could entice the Jotnar with the prospect of a better life here, free of hatred and mistrust. They could entice them with a life where they were not the odd ones out.

It truly was a lovely city but he didn’t like what he saw in the infrastructure. It needed money, money he knew the kingdom had. He looked at his reflection; this was not Gautr. This new visage was more aged and worn. Aldúlfr was a man who tolerated little negativity and who was quite generous. 

As he neared the post he thought over the history of Asgard and the deliberate erasure of the Jotnar from its memory. Thor and Loki were completely unaware or did not care at all for the mixed history. The Jotnar remembered though, talked about the time before the War when things were more peaceful and apparently hoped. 

He sighed and posted the items. He walked back to the hotel.


	17. Chapter 17

Vil entered the throne room with an annoyed expression. Loki glanced down at his uncle in surprise. The chambers had emptied after a long day and he had been looking forward at leaving. Thor stood next to Frigga. His mother smiled next to him. 

“Vil, so good to see you after all this time.” 

“And you, Lady Frigga. Wish I could say the same to my brother, as I am tired of serving as an errand boy but duties are duties.” He indicated the package in his arm. “Thus I present both my nephews with a gift from their father.” 

Ve, who had not left the chambers, walked over and shook the package. “Not fragile I hope.”

“Indeed.” Vil replied with a roll of his eyes. Loki went over and took the package. “I suppose we should open these in private, a study perhaps. It may not be appropriate for an audience.” He said indicating the few passing servants and guards. They all nodded and followed him back into the nearest rooms. 

Thor look ready to peel off the paper once they were inside. Loki handed the packet over. With a flurry he opened it and froze. Loki’s face also had a curious expression. 

Ve walked closer, followed by Vil. “Sweets?” Thor asked. “Why would Father send sweets?” 

“Not just any sweets either, that old boar.” Ve grumbled and snatched a few from his nephews’ package. He gave one to Vil who took it with a look of surprise. 

“Where did he get these? I have not seen one since Mother died!” He replied and promptly popped one into his mouth. “Just like I remember.” He said contently. 

“Yes.” Ve replied. “Do enjoy those, boys. You might not find them again so readily.” 

Loki was about to try one when he saw a note in the candy. Thor spotted it as well because he hastily took it before his brother could with a look of triumph, only to have it taken from his hand by Frigga. She opened the folded letter and laughed. 

“What does it say?”

“Loki, I hope you enjoy these for a fine job on the throne.” Frigga read. Loki resisted preening. “Thor, share with your brother.” Thor glowered. She looked at Ve and Vil. “Don’t let your uncles eat them all.” 

“If only he weren’t king…” Ve said conspiratorially to Vil. 

“I agree.” Vil replied. “However should you boys not like your gift, please remember you have two uncles.” He glanced at the time. “Now, as much I enjoyed this visit, I must be off. Duties.” He replied. 

They parted ways. Ve snatched one more sweet before leaving, leaving the three family members alone. Frigga looked at Loki and Thor. “Well, try them.” She ordered. Loki did so, followed by Thor. 

“These are rather good.” Loki conceded. The taste was peculiar to describe but he found it oddly pleasing. Thor nodded. He offered one to Frigga. 

“No, thank you. I do not enjoy them.” Frigga replied. 

“Are you sure, Mother? They are rather good.”

“I don’t have the palate for them.” She told him. She took the box from Loki and smiled. “I’ll be holding on to these.” 

“Mother, we are not children.” Loki protested. 

“Mother!" Thor cried at the same time. 

“Then you will not have any problems asking for one.” she replied evenly, laughter in her voice. “I will see you at dinner.” 

“When I am king...I still believe Mother will do this.” Thor replied with a sigh. 

“Then be glad I will be at your side.” Loki replied and handed Thor a few sweets. “She will only notice once she reopens that box.” Thor laughed.


	18. Chapter 18

“Volstagg did not like them either.” Thor told Loki. “Sif was the only one that enjoyed them.” 

“Clearly they cannot appreciate fine food.” Loki responded. “It was good you were out. Mother finally noticed the box was half empty.” Thor cringed. “Yes, there was no yelling on her part but I expected her to send me to my chambers for the rest of my reign.” 

“His Highness cannot speak with you over this matter, his has been sent to his room without dinner for the evening.” Thor said solemnly in a softer voice. Loki burst out laughing. 

“If only.” Loki replied. “It’s almost time. Are you ready?” He asked Thor. 

“No, but that’s why Father saw it fit for us, did he not?”

“Yes.” He paused. “Have you heard from him?”

“No, that note was the only thing he has sent me.”

“He has sent me another. I do not know where he lays but it cannot be far. His deliveries are quick and his letters talk of recent news.”

“Is he still in Asgard?”

“I do not believe so. Uncles Ve and Vil know of those sweets; they are not native to Asgard.”

“Where are they from?” 

“They do not say, or perhaps they simply don’t know.”

“I believe I know the responses you have been given for I too asked.”

“We will see when he comes back. I do wish he were here though. As much as I value Mother’s counsel, I do wish for Father’s too.” Loki replied.

“As do I. Loki-“ Odin stopped watching and cast his glance around his room. Someone had knocked on the door. He went to answer. When he opened the door he saw a maid smiling back at him. 

“It’s time for dinner, sir. You asked to be reminded.”

“Yes, thank you.” He smiled, a friendly thing. “I appreciate the reminder. I know I would have missed it.”

“Distracted?” She asked casting a brief glance inside.

“Yes, became lost in thought. Age.” She laughed. 

“Well it is ready for you.” He nodded. 

“I will be down soon, thank you.” She bowed and left. Odin glanced at his reflection. Aldúlfr’s visage was unaffected by him casting the Sight. 

The morning was brisk. Odin was quickly coming to terms with the fact that during the time of year this was a warm day in the mountains. The cold bothered him less than when he had first arrived. Whether it was his blood or merely mental, he found he enjoyed the weather more. 

He paused and looked for the street signs. He squinted, catching sight of the name slightly higher than usual. He was headed the right direction at least. The training ground sat only three more blocks away. The training yard was attached to the farthest guard tower. Odin understood its need for safety but wished it were like the Capital and in his home.

A guard sat outside the entrance, looking bored. The giant smirked after spotting him. 

“Aldúlfr?” 

“Folkvé expecting me then?” 

“Of course, Aldi.” he sing songed the nickname in an imitation close to Folkvé’s voice. “Go on in, Aldúlfr. We will see each other soon enough.” He paused and gave him a look over. 

“What?” 

“Do you naught have more suitable clothing?”

“What is wrong with this?”

“You do not know Folkvé, my friend. Go to the barracks first.” Odin knew he would not win the argument and did as he was bade. The other guards quickly followed the other guard’s suit. Odin grumbled as he entered the training field. His borrowed training clothes were slightly large on him. He had tried to buy them but the guards would not hear of it. The smallest training outfit was too big on him. 

Folkvé smiled at him as he pulled out one of the training staves. He gave an exaggerated performance in stretching and popping worn joints. She flipped the staff in an exaggerated twirl, a performance twirl, yawned and feigned falling asleep while standing. He glared at her, but the glare dissolved into laughter, which was soon joined by her and the spectators around them. 

Aldúlfr had made quite a fine impression. A kind face and a generous hand won a lot of hearts quickly. Odin still saw the wary glances aimed at him at times from the residents. While he claimed kinship he had no proof and he had appeared from the blue without so much of a word. He claimed residence from a small village few had heard of. His strength had been a good sign for many but the Aesir were strong too. 

Farulfr had accepted Gautr with his strength, his stories, and the fact that his arrival could be traced. Gautr had left as well; as far as Farulfr was concerned his friend had gone home to perhaps never be seen again. Odin was glad he had thought of the illusion. Gautr may be seen again and not connected with Ástráðr.

“Come on, Folka. You must give me some time to stretch my old bones. This is not a battle that we were not prepared for, nor will the one with my son be. I have the luxury of stretching.” As if on cue the bones along his back popped from his last exaggerated stretch, something he had not expected. Another round of laughter followed at the surprise that had crossed his face. 

They sparred, her technique was brutal and she relied on her height for the advantage. Odin recalled the war and dodged the majority of her blows. However she was swift and quickly moved to where he had dodged. She was not tall enough where he could slip underneath her as he had with some of the Jotun soldiers during the war. 

It surprised him that her style was more Jotun than Asgardian. He recognized several of the moves from his time in the War. Regardless of her style, she was good with the weapon. It was clear why she had offered to spar with him when he had told her about his match. While she had started light she had upped the complexity her moves when it became clear Aldúlfr was not as rusty as he had made it appear. 

While Loki would not have the advantage of height he was rather sneaky and enjoyed mixing the techniques too. He ached for home. Loki’s time on the throne was almost over and he had discovered so little and too much all at once. Folkvé dodged one of his blows, stumbling somewhat before reorienting herself for another blow.

"Your style is very similar to that of Jotunheim." Odin told her as they gauged their movements.

"My grandfather had served in Jotunheim army in the time of King Bor before immigrating to Asgard. He taught my father. My father taught me." Then he moved. She blocked his blow. The conversation died. 

His clothing was dirty, torn in several places where the blunt end of the training spear caught him. Armor would have prevented anything the inconvenience but he understood the necessity of training out of uniform. Enemies would hardly allow you to change into armor if you were caught unawares or in a trap. 

Folkvé’s right shoulder rose. Odin prepared to counteract only to have it come unexpectedly from the left, the spear swept under his feet and he fell. He barely managed to roll out of the way of her ‘death’ blow. His counter was stopped by an unfamiliar voice demanding to know what was happening. 

He turned his head; he caught sight of the first Aesir he had seen in days. The man was younger than him, by a few centuries at best. He rose. The man’s focus centered on him. His expression turned sour. 

“Who are you?” He demanded. He did not like the man off the bat. His features hinted at a noble lineage. Odin suspected his career had suffered some black mark for him to be sent so far from a proper Aesir settlement, not even a village or rural sector. 

“Aldúlfr.” He said. 

“Aldúlfr?” He waited for a continuation. Odin did not indulge him. “Why are you here?” he demanded. He eyed him suspiciously and yes, this man had done something to warrant such a reaction. 

“We were sparring, sir.” Folkvé replied. 

“I did not ask you, Jotun.” Odin resisted wielding his authority. It would not help. The revelation would startle the residents, who feared things worsening in a peace they had found. 

“I am visiting. Folkvé offered to spar with me. Thus we are.” 

“Why would you visit?” He asked. 

“My mother was Jotun.” He words caused the suspicion to die. It was replaced by distaste. 

“A halfling.” The man sneered. “You disgrace your Aesir father for coming here. You are done sparring. Get back into positions.” He yelled at the others. He pointed to Odin. “You will leave.”

“I will leave.” He turned to Folkvé. “I will see you tonight, then.” The man’s face turned sharp.

“You will leave my city.” He said. “That is what I meant, you stupid halfling. I can understand why you came here if you cannot understand simple instructions.” Odin’s pleasant expression melted away. 

“I will be here in this city for three days more. You have no right to keep me from a territory of Asgard.” The spear in his hand snapped as he squeezed. “And if you have a problem with it, you will do me the satisfaction of battle.” The man froze and glanced around him. 

He gave an angry snarl and grabbed his arm. “Perhaps that is true, but I am the commander in this station and you will leave. Should you hesitate further, I will throw you in the dungeons for trespassing.” Odin nodded and turned to leave. 

The guard at the front, who had been viewing the match, offered him his belongings. “Worry not about the clothing. No one uses them.” He nodded. 

“I never caught your name.” The giant shook his head. 

“Worry not, we will not meet each other again lest you come here. I am on duty for several days more before a break. For the evening it is easier to stay here than venture out.” 

Odin nodded and returned to his hotel. He bathed and soothed his anger by reading over the news and reports in the kingdom. It made him want to step back on the throne. When the evening came he waited for Folkvé. He spotted Ástráðr at the same station as last night and a new guard. 

Odin approached. Ástráðr shifted when he spotted him. “Where is Folkvé?” he asked. He was going to thank her for the fight and treat her to a meal for any potential problems he may have caused. 

Ástráðr looked at his partner. The other giant, and he was a giant, nodded. “She’s been transferred by the commander up north.” 

“So quickly?”

“Yes. She’ll was sent out after you left. Her betrothed is attempting to have her belongs sent to her but it’s still uncertain whether she will be moved again.” 

“It will be alright.” The other giant replied. “Once the commander calms down he will approve her transfer back. He hates paperwork and will do whatever is easiest for him.” Odin resisted the urge to go back and have the man thrown in the cells. He nodded instead because Ástráðr would not have done that.

He went to dinner then returned to the hotel. His room felt oppressively small. Odin sat at his desk and looked at his map. He would visit the college next. He wished Loki were there with him. His son had been a recent graduate of their institutions of higher learning. Thor had attended a military academy. Odin felt out of place there.

Odin made a note of commander’s name and Folkvé. She was a fine warrior, a career soldier. Asgard needed the best, and he would make sure he had the best- be it Aesir, Jotnar, or Vanir. 

The college. He rubbed his temples. A quick trip through a few areas of Asgard, then Vanaheim once more. Finally home. And Thor’s reign would start soon. He had taken longer journeys in Midgard but now everything appeared to loom ahead of him.

He started to pen another note for Loki, to be delivered on his last day. He drafted it five times before throwing all of them in the fire, incinerating them to nothing with help from his magic. His anger boiled again. At the Capitol Hunin cawed.


	19. Chapter 19

The tavern buzzed with conversation and the clinking of many cups on hard tabletops. Odin sat in the center most table surrounded by several guards. Despite the constant hum of conversation around them it Odin felt like he had everyone’s attention. 

“My son is well skilled!” Odin boasted. “He takes after me well enough but it is his mother whom he truly follows. What little skills I have in magic are nothing if compared to my wife. She taught him everything he knows about his craft work.”

“What kind of magic do you wield?” A young barmaid asked as she set down the news round of drinks. “I have a slight gift in enchantment. Nothing too strong or else I would work for a craftsman, but it certainly helps save money.” The Jotun maid was plain but her face pleasant. Her eyes were a startling shade of red closer to rubies than the dark garnet of most Jotnar. 

Odin caught himself staring. Mother’s eyes had been a shade off that color. He blinked. “Nothing more than basic spellcraft. Elementary magic.” He replied. Everyone nodded. Though most learned it in their studies few went on to study the crafts after their education ended. 

“We are going off topic.” One of the guardsmen said. “You are looking for a smith to fit your son’s skill. So far we have you complimenting him. We know you can fight well, Aldi, but is your son better or at the same level as you.” Odin thought of what Loki’s teachers had told him. 

“I am sore to admit that he is perhaps better than me, especially with his magic.” 

“At least you are honest. A gift ill suited would hardly be a gift at all.” Ástráðr shifted in his seat. His youth was more apparent surrounded by the rest of his fellow guards. He was thin and clearly not fully-grown where the others were thick in their limbs and torso. He thought about a sapling to a fully-grown oak. 

“There is a smith outside of town who specializes in high class items.” Ástráðr said softly. “They are not only good material but the craft is solid and artisanal. I am not certain how much coin you have, Aldúlfr, but perhaps you may start there.” Odin had been quite free with his coin as Aldúlfr. While Ástráðr did not quite outright say it, he implied he had to have some wealth or savings to spend as he did. 

“What name does this smith use or his shop?” 

“Her name is Hallerna and you will find her on an old farm northwest of the city.” Ástráðr replied, tone slightly reproachful. 

“Hallerna?” A guardswoman named Ingilaug said surprised. “How did you hear of her so quickly, Ástráðr ? She is not so well known to newcomers!” Ástráðr shifted, clearly uncomfortable. 

“One of the nobleman had me escort him to her home and stay while she crafted him a ceremonial sword for his son’s naming day. It was not long after I had started here.” The others glowered. Odin placed another handful of coins on to the table. 

“Another round and some food!” The people at the tavern cheered. Ástráðr smiled at him. It had been a day since Folkvé’s transfer and Odin still felt the anger simmer in his veins at the act. 

However Aldúlfr had not shown such a strong temper so did not show it. He clearly showed his displeasure but nothing more nor was not his place as an outsider to intervene. The evening passed quickly under a light mood. 

When Odin returned to his rooms he had a plan to head to the smith, Hallerna, for Loki’s regency gift. Odin went to the map on the hotel room’s desk and started tracing the route he would take to the college. His pencil kept catching on the indents from the parchment below it. Loki’s letter laid half crafted beneath. 

Despite his few letters and gifts, Odin would make it clear he had not forgotten his promise to spar with Loki nor make it appear that he had not followed his regency closely. He finished tracing the route and put his map away. He saw the mass of half-finished letters. Brevity would need to do until he returned or his temper calm. 

Loki was gifted with words, he would understand. The nagging doubt that he had not said enough ate at him, as with the past he did not wish to assume. Loki had been so much freer with him; Odin did not want to return to the nervous boy he had seen in his study those many nights ago. 

He had bought a simple carrying case for the spear tip he planned on buying Loki; the case was lined with fine silk and a soft silk drape lay folded neatly in the case ready to conceal the gift. The drape’s pattern was distinctly Jotun, but he doubted even Loki would be able to identify it at first sight. 

It was based off an old tale from the times of Ymir. His mother had loved to sing a ballad she had composed based off the tale. The tale had been known in Asgard as well but had fallen out of fashion in Odin’s youth. 

Odin smirked as an idea came to him. Loki’s curiosity would no doubt turn toward him if he were left without a challenge. He could create a puzzle for son from this drape. His mother’s works were in his personal library. The ballad did outright mention the tale. Loki could find it and connect the two if he was challenged to do it. He hesitated. 

Loki would not connect a tale from Jotunheim to his origins. The thought was ludicrous to worry about it. It would be a nice puzzle for his son, should he choose to follow it. He took a deep breath. Perhaps he should have listened to Frigga and told Loki of his origins while he was young. The same with Thor, but his agreement with Jord made that option impossible unless he renegotiated with her. 

Laufey and Jord were fools for discarding them.

Odin thought back of his library. His son would probably be curious about Odin’s own journals, especially those into his own sorcery. Odin smiled. A puzzle would entice Loki but a prize would drive him to go the full length if he lost interest midway through. Frigga knew the tale. His brothers would know the answer as well. 

Vill complained he had not known his nephews enough. It was time that their family started coming together again, all of them. With a flourish he finished the letter. He would rewrite it tomorrow after he had returned from Hallerna. 

The following morning he headed out to Hallerna’s little workshop. Hallerna was a midsized Jotun. Her eyes were deep set, her brow prominent and her lineage lines strongly lining her face like war scars. She could not be called attractive by any means. Her body was well built from smithing and her hands large. 

Her work lay on the walls, ceremonial and functional weapons, baubles, and an assortment of armor in various stages of production. The detail on the work indicated she was dexterous and well skilled. She looked at him suspiciously when he asked to see her wares. An ice mace lay in her hand; she waited ready to attack him should he make an attempt at theft while he browsed.

It was far too late to order a special placed item. Odin marveled at the quality of her work. It was not at the same skill level as the dwarves but it was some of the best he had seen in Asgard by a citizen. He examined a spearhead. It was sharp, deceptively so as he cut his thumb quickly than he anticipated. The base was of gold and beautifully decorated with an elaborate pattern. 

It was perfect. 

“I have a similar one that may be customized if you so desire or left unaltered for a lesser price than the one in your hand.” Hallerna said as he caught his admiring gaze. 

“How long would it take you to create a pattern similar to this detail?” he asked. 

“As complex as that? A few hours if you have the design, it will be ready before nightfall.” Odin nodded. He quickly sketched the design he wanted. Hallerna took payment from him first and watched him until he handed over the coin. She disappeared and returned with the spearhead. 

He examined it and found it almost an identical copy to the one he had examined. She worked on the spearhead as he watched. Once she was done he had no doubts he had created everything in the workshop. 

He returned to his rooms in the evening. He would leave tomorrow and he toward the college. Loki’s regency would end on the way to the college. It was then that he would send the package with Muninn safe from the scrutiny of prying eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

Loki’s armor gleamed regally in the light of the Great Hall, Gungnir was held in his right hand in a sure grip. Next to him Frigga stood tall and imposing. Thor knelt before them at the base of the throne’s steps. 

“Do you Thor Odinson swear to uphold and protect Asgard and all she stands for?” Thor looked up. “Do you swear to uphold the throne as Odin All Father has decreed?” 

“I do, upon my honor and as Prince of Asgard.” 

“Then, brother,” Loki drawled. “it would be an honor to turn over this seat and Gungnir to you. Should our Queen Mother permit it, if she be not too angry with us sneaking treats among other reasons.” Frigga’s stern expression cracked and she began to laugh. 

“Loki. You cannot say that tomorrow.” She said in between breaths. Thor joined their mother’s laughter and stood. The throne room was empty save for a few guards who were looking on at the practice with curiosity. They would not be so close to the real ceremony. If they wished to view the transfer of power the guards would need to stand with the crowds. 

“I will not actually so that, Mother. Do you doubt me?” He acted hurt. Frigga began to laugh harder at his wounded expression. Thor snicked and pushed Loki. Loki’s armor faded for a moment, leaving him in his normal garb. Loki glared then let the illusion drop from them all. 

Frigga’s dress still was an impressive and expensive looking garment but it was less ornate than her court apparel. Her jewelry and armor were missing, though a golden dagger lay on her waste by a small belt. Thor was also in his normal clothing. He smirked at Loki. 

“Have you changed your mind, brother, about the throne? Do you wish to stay in power for a few seconds more by rendering me dumb with laughter?”

“Of course not.” Loki replied as he sat on the throne. Frigga stood still by his side. “You will see what stress I have been under soon. You will wish I had spared you for a few seconds more.” 

“We will see!” Thor rebuked smiling. A caw caught their attention. Everyone turned to sound and saw Muninn flying in with a package. The bird landed near Loki. It gazed at him for a brief second. Loki saw his reflection in those black beady orbs, but the reflection staring back at him was wrong. What was wrong with his skin and his eyes--? The bird flew off. 

Loki’s attention fell on the package. His name was on the package. Loki licked his lips. He reached for the package. 

He set it on his lap and for a moment felt ridiculous on the throne. He opened the package. A fine silk cloth hid or protected the contents. He moved it over delicately. There was something in the silk as well. 

His attention was drawn to the package’s content. A spear tip. He smiled. Father was preparing for their sparring match. He examined the weapon. 

“That is a fine weapon, Loki.”

“Yes.” He felt for a loss of words for once. He was overcome with emotion. Father had not forgotten about him. The small tokens made it apparent he was still in his father’s mind but this was a gift that showed more thought. He was not simply acting out as his father’s second heir, to ensure he was ready if Thor were unable to. 

This was a gift from a father to his son for a job well done. 

He looked at the silk and unraveled the cloth. It was exquisite. There lay a letter for him. He would not open it here. He closed case. 

“Now let us continue, shall we not? The evening is slipping us by. The morning will soon be here and none of us will be ready.” Thor smiled and headed down the steps. 

“Shall we proceed?” Frigga asked as she clasped Loki’s shoulder briefly in a small congratulations. 

“Of course. Now where were we?” Loki asked with a smile. 

“I believe we were discussing the problem with laughter at the ceremony.” Thor said. 

“Formality would be so much more tolerable if we were permitted such paltry jokes.” Loki said but sighed dramatically. Then he let the illusion fall over them again. “Thor Odinson,” Loki began again. 

It was important they be ready for tomorrow.


	21. Chapter 21

Loki set down the case on his desk. He looked over his shoulder at Thor who had followed him to his room. Loki wanted to send him away, he had the power to do so, but a part of him missed his brother. The regency had separated them more than he had initially thought.

Thor closed his door. The servants had left long ago. He looked tired, but excited. Loki felt smug. Soon everyone would know that Thor was not ready for the throne. Father would see him in a new light and, perhaps, steer Thor’s tutelage in the right direction.

Loki smiled at him. “Nervous, brother?”

“Of course not, I look forward to the glory of the throne.” Thor said then his haughty expression dropped. “I do not know whether I am ready.” 

“Which is why Father saw it fit for us to rule while he is away.” Loki said. “I do not wish for the throne but should it come into my purvey it is necessary I be prepared. I hope it never comes to that, Thor.”

“Nor I, brother.” Thor replied grimly. “If Father grants me Kingship I hope it is abdication which gives you the seat, not my death. I do not wish to leave you alone.” Loki nodded. The happy mood now settled by the sharp reality of their positions. They were powerful as the head family of Asgard but in the Tree there lurked that which even Heimdall was blind to. 

Thor smiled suddenly. “Come, show me Father’s gift.” Loki reluctantly opened the case once more, he could think of no true reason to send Thor away and hide his trophy. Thor walked next to him. Thor gazed at the spearhead curiously. 

“May I?” He asked. Loki nodded. Thor examined the weapon. Though the spear was not his choice of weapon Thor was well versed in many weapons as he was. Thor saw the quality of the work and the extreme craftsmanship. He examined the blade. Thor gasped and jerked his fingers away from the blade. “The blade is very sharp.” Thor said and showed him the fine cut finger. 

“I had not had the chance to examine it so closely. That is good to know. I do not wish to kill Father with it in our sparring match.” 

“As if you would do such harm to Father.” Thor said with a hint of good humor. “What is this sparring match to begin with?”

“A wager Father made with me before he left. He promised to spar and evidently he has not forgotten.”

“I will be glad to see that. You and Father are quite matched with the spear.” 

“Only for he has promised to not use Gungnir.”

“I think not even Mjolnir can compare that it on Asgard.”

“Do I detect a hint of jealousy, brother?” 

“Perhaps, Father did not invite me to spar with him.” 

“I am afraid a war hammer lacks the finesse of a spear. It is more than battle Father and I will engage in. It is a dance of grace and-” Thor began to chuckle and pushed him lightly. 

“I believe that the time on the throne has gone to your head, Loki. I am indeed looking forward to the match between you and Father but poetry it will not be!”

“Oh so you say, brother, or so you say.” Thor smirked at him. “Just wait. You will remark on your words once you see us and declare yourself to be premature.”

“Or conclude that my father and brother have much the same ego of their own skills in battle.” Loki’s brow rose. 

“Oh? May I remind someone who caused a battle to enamor the fair Lady Sif?” Thor coughed. 

“Though she be fair no more thanks to you, Loki.” Thor glared. Loki smirked. 

“As though that has stopped you.” 

“We are friends, nothing more.” 

“So you say.” Thor glowered. 

“So you and Lady Sigyn are nothing more than friends?”

“Once perhaps not, but we have moved beyond such matters. She is still my dear friend, brother. You cannot turn her affair with me into a denial that exists not.”

“Nor you my friendship with Sif.” Thor countered. “She is a fine woman. She is the epitome of a woman of Asgard. I am honored to have her friendship.”

“As is Sigyn, though of a different variety.” The two glared at another for a moment before Thor handed back the spearhead to Loki. Loki placed it back in its case. He moved to cover it with the cloth when the letter slid from its folds. 

“You have been holding back, Loki. Is that a message of ours or strictly your own?” It was a legitimate question with it being the eve of the transition. Loki shrugged. He opened the letter and scanned it quickly. 

“It is for me.” Loki said sounding surprised.

“Is everything alright?” Thor asked, concerned at his change in mood. 

“No. Yes. It is a challenge, Thor.”

“A challenge? What for?” Loki looked up at him excitedly. 

“If I may solve this.” He unbound the cloth. The pattern was unusual. “If I may find what tale this refers Father will- he will teach me some of his own magic and gift me with some of his own journals from his studies.” He felt his mouth go dry and he felt quite awake. “Father has not tutored me in magic since I first began!” 

“You have not read his journals before?”

“Nay, Father has forbidden it. He said I was not yet ready. I had been around five hundred when he first informed me of such a fact. Now it seems enough time may have passed and he finds me worthy. I could not sneak to read his own works for he has enchanted them. Beyond his own initial years I cannot read them without spending a great deal of time unraveling the spells protecting their contents.” 

“That is fantastic news.” Thor replied honestly. Loki glanced at his brother. He did not appear jealous. 

“Does this not bother you?”

“Of course not! Do you wish for me to assist you?” He asked. “When I have the time, the regency will take up the majority of my free time until it ends. That leaves another month for me to assist you if necessary.” 

“No, not if you need not to. I will search, if I am unsuccessful then I will ask for your help.” Thor nodded in understanding. Then he frowned. 

“I wonder in part if Father did this to keep you occupied?” 

“What do you mean?” Loki asked, his happy mood falling. 

“Father told me you no longer wished to be my advisor.” Thor said but there was nothing reproachful in his expression. “If you are busy I may not fall onto the habit of asking you for assistance when you wish to be elsewhere.”

“That is true.” Loki confirmed. “Does it not bother you?” 

“It did, at first. I was hurt you did not inform me. As children we spent hours talking about my kingship and you at my side as my advisor. Then I realized we had not spoken about such things in a long time.” Thor looked at him seriously. “I realized we had not spoken as we once did and for that I am sorry, brother.” He smiled ruefully. “I have spent much time thinking while you were on the throne.” 

“So you believe Father gives me this to entice me away from your side?”

“No, though I believe it has occurred to him that which came to me. Whether you are Uncle Ve or Uncle Vil, I will always support your decision.” Loki frowned.

“Brother-“

“Now we have gone off topic again.” Thor said laughing. “Tell me, has father left you any clues or will you have to start in the library?” Loki paused, and then decided the topic had passed. They would discuss it again later. It was clear Thor did not wish to talk about it right now. 

He handed over the letter to Thor to read. His brother scanned it while he talked. “I am to start with Grandmother’s journals in the father’s library.” Thor’s brow furrowed. 

“Our grandmother, I do not know what those journals would look like.”

“Father’s own library is vast but there is order to it. I must simply identify where he would keep them and start from there.” Loki looked at Thor. “Unlike your own library brother.”

“A book is a book. It need not be stored as if in one of the public libraries. I need only know where it is.” 

“Tutor almost had your head when you lost his own book within the chaos that is that bookshelf of yours.” 

“It is not chaos, the staff keeps it tidy.” Thor countered. Loki laughed. 

“You told them to place it wherever was open. Tutor had to plead with Mother to have the book found, it had been a gift from his father.”

“I do not think he was happy to find it beneath my bed.”

“At least you attempted to read it.” Loki consoled. Thor glared at him but the effect was ruined by his yawn. “It seems the excitement has tired you out, Thor. I have but a few decades until I nod off before the morning has even arrived.”

“If you weren’t regent brother.” Thor began. His tone testy but his expression lacked any real venom. Loki smirked. 

“Until tomorrow, Thor. We should be ready for tomorrow.” Thor nodded but he looked at him. 

“Do you think I will do well?” He asked. Loki felt surprised. 

“As well as you can do. Our entire lives have been spent coaching us on ruling. The same as I have done. I certainly was not ready.” 

Thor smiled at him, a small thing that made Loki feel unnerved. That was not an expression he was used to seeing on his brother’s face. 

“Father told me that you were more ready for the throne than I? I have spent your month observing you and trying to learn from you, Loki.” 

“Perhaps he meant our temperament. You are quicker to anger than I.”

“I am quicker to show it.” Thor clarified and Loki smirked. So his brother was not completely blinded to his own nature. 

“You will do fine. Mother will be there to guide you and assist you. You must not waste such an opportunity, brother. Not all future kings are offered such a boon.” 

“I will not. Go search for Grandmother’s journals. Let me know if you need assistance.” Loki nodded. “I will see you tomorrow brother.”

“It is a big day.” Loki said and watched him go. Father had said he would make a better king?  
Why had he not told him? Is that why he had placed him first on the throne? Was his decision to let him learn more about being king or to allow Thor to learn from his example? 

He and Thor were both raised to be king, had father planned to let him go further? Loki studied the pattern on the cloth. Where had he gone? What was so important that he could not let them rule without him there to observe? 

He walked out to Father’s study. The halls were empty, the guards glanced at him curiously but he ignored them. He entered the study and began to search. He could not sleep. He might as well begin to work on solving Father’s puzzle. 

A portrait caught his attention as he made his way toward the pack of the room to the oldest books. The portrait was of three young men sitting in a meadow. They were enjoying the fine weather of Asgard. He realized with a start why it had caught his attention. The portrait was that of Odin and his brothers. His father was young, his expression carefree and with two eyes. He looked much like Thor. 

He had to have faith in his brother. If Father had been like Thor or even Loki himself he had matured into the great king he was today. One was made a king, not simply born one. He recalled from his lessons, while small and on Father’s lap as he drifted off to sleep. 

He kept moving in search of the journals.


	22. Chapter 22

The college lay hidden in a small valley, between a thicket of woods and a small stream fed by the mountains where the Jotnar lived. The books did not do the campus justice. Odin could immediately spot the original buildings, small and sized to accommodate the Aesir. 

The original campus was small. It was hardly expansive but someone had made an effort kept it feeling open. Newer buildings were built along the edges of the property. 

_“Aye! It has actually grown with our arrival. A usual student was a poorer man’s son or a farmer who wished to change fields.”_

_“It was a training school mostly correct?”_

_“Yes but we had an influx of merchants, scholars, and educated people…”  
_

Farulfr’s voice echoed in his head. He had been right in both statements. The original buildings were modest for Asgard, a common man’s college not even in consideration for a family of good standing or nobility. The outer buildings showed the increase of enrollment and money. 

Odin had originally worried about the college unable to fund itself. He suspected its stipend from the Kingdom had not been increased all these years to accommodate its new population. However, the well educated and well off Jotnar had funded the school as best as they could after they had arrived from the kingdom’s cities. 

He admired the view from the distance as his horse rested. He could see several individuals walking between the buildings- a few clearly tall and Jotun, others smaller and Aesir. The college and its surrounding area were tranquil. 

He did not simply wish to stumble upon the college. He thought about appearing as an official but that had the danger of exposing him if his credentials were run. He thought back to the reading he had done about the college. It should be able to offer him a tour of its facilities and a brief stay as with any in the kingdom. 

The idea appealed to him. Odin checked his map. A small village appeared to be located in the thicket of woods. This college would not be the most exciting out of all of those in the kingdom but if it was functional then he supposed it was successful. The village and one slightly more off in the distance did not isolate it. 

He gazed at his map. The stay at the school could only be for a few days but the villages provided a bit more of an area to explore. He looked at his grazing horse. He was no Sleipnir but for the price he paid he couldn’t complain. The poor thing was only a few centuries old and the owner had wanted to kill it because it served poorly as a draft horse. 

He rose and the horse trotted over to him. The horse huffed and nuzzled him, wanting sugar or perhaps some mead (perhaps the old owner had wanted to sale him for his affinity toward the beverage). He had not named it. Odin gazed above as a craft passed them by. Usually there was no reason for such haste in Asgard. It kept soaring, moving past the university and heading south. The horse nuzzled him again. 

“We’ll get a round soon enough, horse. Have patience.” His horse snorted. “Are you ready to go?” The horse nodded against him. “Let’s head off then.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I spent a good deal of time writing a celebration which can be found here:
> 
> http://burning-nova.livejournal.com/12137.html
> 
> It follows the last chapter and occurs before the events in this chapter. The only reason it was not included was because I did not feel it added to the content of the story.

Another book returned to its place on bookshelf with a slam. Loki looked at the shelves above him. Father had a system to his organization. He found treatises, works on war, works on basic spell craft, works of fiction and even poetry by Mother in a perfectly logical ordered that would have made the librarians proud. 

There appeared to be no works on his grandmother or grandfather in the library. He had already gone through more than half the study.

Where could Father have placed it? More than of the works were on spellcraft had been unreadable due to Father’s magics and the other he had already read or a more recent version. He flung himself onto Father’s recliner. 

At least the seats made any strain bearable. 

He leaned back, sinking into the cushions with a discontented sigh. It was exquisite. Perhaps he would steal it and replace it with his own worn seat. Or Father could provide him one for his naming day. Yes, that seemed like an acceptable gift. 

He had no idea where to start aside from the cloth and Grandmother’s journals. He could ask about the pattern but Loki doubted the answer would be so simple. It would not be a challenge otherwise. 

If only Father had told him to search for his Uncle Loptr’s writings. That would have been a better quest; his uncle had left quite a legacy behind. He was much like his Uncle Loptr, he thought, a trickster and suffered mistreatment from those beneath him. 

Of course perhaps some of the rumors were warranted – with Sleipnir and his cohorts. Loki could have done without reading the Midgardian interpretation of his Uncle’s creation of the creatures. He opened his eyes. He caught sight of the painting of Odin and his brothers. 

Maybe Uncle Ve or Vil would know where the journals could be found. He would speak with them after the court session had ended. He kicked off his boots. Later. He looked at the shelves of books. He did not care to read at the moment. He closed his eyes. Later.

A short time later, he woke up from the light doze he had slipped into while in the chair. He scowled at the stack of books in front of him. Court would still be in session at this time, he would have to wait to speak with Uncle Ve. If only he knew where Uncle Vil lived. 

A trip into the city would help calm his nerves and ease his frustration. Loki exited the study. After a brief detour to his rooms for money, he headed out. On his way down one of the main passages, a man flagged him down. 

The man was one of Father’s multitudes of advisors, Eiríkr. 

“Your Highness, may I have a word with you?” Loki sighed. 

“About?”

“I have been trying to speak with His Highness, Prince Thor, over this matter over the last few days.” He pulled out a scroll from his robes. Loki despised the man’s robes, overly ostentatious and expensive; it spoke of his arrogance. 

Eiríkr knew his trade and discounting the man’s opinion on economic matters would be more than foolish. If Loki had a gift for magic, the man had a gift with analyzing and tracking data from across the Realms. 

Father had told him that Eiríkr had foreseen a crop failure in Muselpheim. Trade had been good that year with the normally hostile fire beings. Loki took the scroll with out preamble. It spoke about Vanaheim and crop failure. 

“Have you brought this to Father’s attention?”

“I have tried but Hekkr has prevented the topic whenever it arises. I tried the same with you, Your Highness, but the man has more charm than sense.” 

“So you decided to bring this up with me.”

“Away from Hekkr.” The man smiled ruefully. “I know you do not like me, your Highness, nor your father, His Majesty, or even Her Majesty. I do not stay here for the glory, which many find in the role. I do it as duty to my kingdom and its people.” 

“I see. I will bring it up to Thor’s attention but do not think to come to me too often. I will not be acting as his counsel in the future.” the statement surprised Eiríkr. 

Loki felt a rush of pleasure at the proclamation. It was the first time he had told anyone of his plans outside of Thor and Odin. Even Mother had not heard the news from him. He did not doubt Father had discussed it with her. 

“Of course, Your Highness. I apologize for the assumption.”

“I have not discussed this choice with many, you need not worry. His Majesty and Prince Thor are aware of my decision.” Eiríkr nodded and bowed. 

“Thank you.” The advisor made to leave. 

“Pray, will today’s session end early?”

“No, Your Highness, it is expected to run long today.”

“Why will the session wrong long?”

“Prince Thor decided today would be the best day to administer over foreign affairs.” 

“And he placed all domestic disputes or concerns in one day as well.” he surmised. Eiríkr nodded. “And Vanaheim is a domestic issue as a territory.” Thor was an idiot. Eiríkr nodded though his expression briefly twisted into one of distaste, as if he had suckled on the horn of bligsnipe. 

Loki continued on his way, ordering one of the servants to take the scroll to his rooms. He went into the city. He spent the day in comfortable solitude. When he returned, it was past dinner. Court was still in session; why was Thor so stubborn? 

As long as there were no foreign diplomats he should have continued the session until tomorrow. Why would he make Mother suffer so? Thor would drive himself mad with the long session. Even Father did not run the sessions so long without due cause. 

By the time a servant informed him the session was over, Loki had nearly forgotten he wished to speak with Ve. The session had moved from the Great Hall to one of the smaller studies. The lingering advisors looked exhausted but Thor’s face held a stubborn and hardy expression. He would resolve what he wanted, damn them all. 

Reminded of his conversation earlier, Loki observed that Hekkr stood a bit too close to Thor. Where had Hekkr stood by him when he had ruled? The man had stood close but not so close where it had become a nuisance. Whenever he had needed to speak with someone Hekkr normally appeared in his line of sight first out of all the advisors. 

Uncle Ve looked beyond irritated and made his way down the halls in almost a run. Loki walked after him quickly. When he neared his private apartment, Ve spun with the angriest look Loki had ever seen on his uncle’s face. 

“Why are you following-Loki?” 

“Is this not the best time, uncle?”

“Only if you wish to discuss business.” Ve said. 

“None of that sort, I swear.” Ve nodded. 

“I apologize for the outburst. I thought you were- never mind. It is a personal matter.” He ushered him toward his apartment, opening the rooms without preamble. “Come in, come in. Don’t make an old man stand like a fool.”

“You’re hardly old.” Loki retorted as he entered. 

“Flattery will endear you in your uncle’s heart.” The rooms were small, smaller than Loki’s own rooms. He had remembered them bigger. Then again he had been the size of his uncle’s knees when he had last been in the home. 

“Allow me to change. I will be with you in a moment.”

“Take your time, uncle.” Loki said as he sat in the small study. Would he lose his own rooms to a space such as this? He wondered. Would he want a room as small as this without family to oblige him to bigger rooms?

Loki frowned. His and Thor’s own rooms were more than generous. He had seen Volstagg’s home; it could easily fit within his or Thor’s quarters. 

Loki took in the rooms. They were comfortable, well lived in, and certainly appeared to well cared for by his uncle. Ve returned shortly after, dressed much more casually but not casual enough to make Loki uncomfortable for his intrusion. 

“Do you wish for anything-food or drink?”

“No, thank you.” Ve nodded and poured himself a small drink before sitting across from him. 

“What can I help you with, Loki? I haven’t had the pleasure of your company here in, ages it seems.” He did not appear bitter. But Loki could not recall spending more time with his uncle. For the most part he had considered his family of only his parents and Thor. His uncles often slipped his mind. 

“As you may know, Father sent me a gift toward the end of my time as regent.” Ve nodded. “He included a letter with it. It is a challenge. He suggested I start with the grandmother’s journals, which I could find in his study. However I have found no such tomes despite searching for the better part of last week.”

“They exist, if you are here to question it.” Ve began. His expression shifted, it looked as if he were seeing into the distance. “Mother used to write frequently in her journals. Only a few survived after her death. Odin holds the majority of them, Vil holds two. I have none. Any journals I wished to keep from her were among the lost.”

“How were they lost?”

“A fire, Father was distraught after Mother’s death. It was fortunate we ---your father, Vil, and I—were able to save any. Father fell in battle not too long afterward. Grief made him careless.” The expression took on a pained look which quickly vanished. He smiled sadly. 

“I believe Father had begun to read them before he had burned them. He loved Mother so much, more than any of his sons. Our deaths I believe he could have survived, but Mother’s destroyed him.” He shook his head. 

“Do you know where Father keeps them?” Ve shook his head and took a sip from his drink. 

“I do not. I asked him once about it. A long time ago, he stated he kept them near family.” Ve looked annoyed. “Always with the riddles. Him and that Loptr.” he glanced at him. “Do you know of Loptr?”

“Father mentioned him before he left. I started to read about him.”

“If he still lived I would have moved to Vanaheim as soon as I was able.” He smiled fondly. “You little trickster hold nothing against Loptr, much less Loptr and your father working together. Do not blindly believe what you read about him.”

“Oh?” Loki was curious. “They are overstated?” Ve laughed. 

“If anything they are understated, child.” he shook his head. “Oh, I could not survive Asgard with three tricksters. My king, his blood-brother, and my nephew.” he lamented. “You would have enjoyed his company. You were aptly named, Loki.” 

“Is there nothing else you remember?” Loki asked. 

“Not of the journals. They will be in the study if Odin says they are. I cannot help you with more, I’m sorry.” 

“I have lost nothing, uncle. At least I know they are real and I am not merely chasing phantasms.” Ve nodded. “I will let you rest. It was a long session.”

“That it was. Come see me any time, Loki. You are more than welcome.” 

Loki walked back to his chambers. He did not see Thor or Mother for that evening. The following day he went to Father’s study. It had to be there. He would not give up. Perhaps they were occulted from his sight by magic? 

He cleared another bookcase before the afternoon meal. He hadn’t yet found it. He ate with Thor and Mother in their private study. Thor looked tired and Mother irritated. They did not speak much during the meal. Loki remembered the scroll Eiríkr had handed to him. He would bring it up later; it was not yet the time. 

He wondered if he had looked as harried in the first week. When their meal was over, Loki went back to the study for one more sweep before he stopped for the day. Another book case and still nothing. 

Loki turned to leave; the portrait yet again caught his attention. He frowned. There were portraits of Mother, him, and Thor in Father’s rooms. Yet this was the only portrait in the study of people. Father had a nice seaside painting of what he thought was Midgard and of the Tree.

Could it be?

Loki reached out to the portrait. He grasped the edges of the frame and pulled it back. Nothing. He almost slammed his hand into the wall in frustration. He placed the frame back on the wall. His finger caught beneath the frame. He jerked his hand on instinct despite the lack of pain. 

What had that been? It hadn’t felt like the wall, or uniform at least. He lifted the portrait again and gently touched the wall. Cool metal even though it appeared he was touching masonry. Loki smiled. 

He removed the portrait completely. He could feel the shelving, guarded by a metal door. The illusion was a work of art. He licked his lips. Yet it could not be so difficult for him to undo for Father to suggest it.

Perhaps even Thor would be able to open it. He ran his fingers over the metal in a simple rune that everyone in Asgard knew. The illusion lifted.

He could not keep the smile off his face. He could have kissed Uncle Ve.

Now, to open the safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Thank you all for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the long delay. I've had a lot of changes in real life (new city and such). I hope to have the next sections up this month as well, not simply this one. Hope you enjoy it!

“What do you wish for me to do, Loki?” Thor roared as they met in his chamber. He sat up his eyes hard and stern. “Do you wish for me to denounce him in front of the court when Father has not even heard of such news?”

“I expect you to act as a Regent should!” Loki yelled back. “Instead you make play at War when there is not even an enemy in sight.” He sneered. 

Thor rose from his seat and towered of Loki. Loki glared and refused to cower, instead he pushed Thor back and rose to meet him. “Do not try me brother.”

“Try you? I am doing your job and duties you fail to uphold as Regent despite your oath.”

“I do not play at War, Loki. I ready them incase of an attack. Do you think all our enemies will be seen by Heimdall. If you may hide from his Sight what else in the Tree that may do so? An enemy that has had more time to work on the cloaking, perhaps was cloaked before the birth of Heimdall from his mothers.” He seethed. 

“I am not wasting our treasury by addressing the ‘needy’ of our Realm, as if such a thing exists in Asgard. Or do you forget part of keeping troops from laziness is training? Running drills? I do not seek to waste our coin or end the lives of the innocent. I seek to keep our Realms safe.”

“Oh and our people should suffer while you play pending Warlord.”

“Do not twist my words brother!” Thor snapped and took a calming breath. “I will not fight you. You will not come away the bigger man.” 

“Mother has been tempering you.”

“I am not a child. I am capable of reigning my emotions.” He retorted, his flashing again in anger. “I will speak with Hekkr.”

“Father would-“

“I AM NOT FATHER!” Thor roared with such force that Loki drew back in shock. “I am not him, Loki. You and Father may find faults in my style of rule but I will not follow his shadow. I will rule as I desire to and should I stumble then I will be a stronger king for it.” 

He looked on proudly at him. “Nor am I you, Silvertongue. Father may wish for you to be king more than I, but I was still named crown prince and thus I will act as one until he revokes it or my death.” He took a deep breath. “I will not dismiss him outright. I will remove him from ‘my’ counsel with the pretext that I wish to work with a varied counsel. Does that satisfy you Loki or do you wish to confer with Mother?” 

“As you wish, Thor.” Thor glowered and sat in his seat. 

“You may leave my rooms now. I am not as amicable in sharing the evening with you as I had previously been, Loki.” Loki nodded. 

“I will see you tomorrow.”

“Perhaps.” Thor said. 

Loki exited the room. He felt perturbed by his argument with Thor. He felt like he had been under his brother’s shadow. Had Thor felt under Father’s shadow all along? he wondered. 

He wanted to speak with someone but his own friends were scattered throughout the universities or among the more degenerates of society who did not know he was Loki. He found himself outside his uncle’s chambers. Would he be welcome? 

Loki knocked. The door quickly opened. Ve smiled, he heard the voice of his Uncle Vil calling from inside about who it was. 

“It is our nephew!”

“Which, we have two you goat!” Vil called but got up to look at him. He smiled at him. “Loki I did not expect to see you today. What a fine sight for sore eyes. Have you come to join your uncles or do you bear more orders from your brother or our brother?” Loki smiled. 

“Join your company, if I am welcome?”

Ve laughed and pulled him in. The hug came unexpectedly. For all he had seen his uncle in the sidelines of the court he had not interacted him very often personally. Loki had come to expect gifts or a kind word on his naming day. Perhaps the regencies had brought upon more than Father had initially foreseen.


	25. Chapter 25

“It’s exactly what you think.” The shopkeeper said. “I don’t know why you’d want to go down there.”

“My friend informed me they had number of trinkets, unique because of their Jotun design. No need to venture to Jotunheim for a gift for your wife or son.”

“As if anyone would venture to Jotunheim for a gift.” The merchant laughed. 

“I am trying to gift my wife something unique, not strictly the usual Asgardian norm.” Odin countered getting annoyed. “She is already inundated with Vanir and Aesir gifts. I want to surprise her.” 

“You would be better off getting her a cow if you want a surprise.”

“I would also like to sleep in my own bed for the next century.”

“If you insist.” The man said with a disgruntled look. “You will find them situated near the docks, not too close but about a hundred paces going toward the grand hall. It is good news for your horse there,” he pointed to the horse Odin had tied outside and eating happily from its feed bag. “as there are less potholes in the road nearer you get to the Hall.”

“Why are there so many?”

“Grandeur is not limited to their Majesties.” The man replied. “And while your village may be able to keep each road flat as my stomach when I was young, it is not so here. The budgeter would rather fulfill a weekly banquet than fix a few holes on the edge of the city.” 

“Treasurer.”

“Whoever. Nobility serves the King, itself, then the people last, and if they are feeling generous those fortunate beasts.” 

“Of course.” Odin said and smiled. “Although I am mostly interested in the Jotun because my own mother was Jotun.”

The man’s face turned into an ugly sneer. “A half-breed then. Does your As wife know your heritage or did you do the right thing and hope to breed it out of your line?” 

Odin smiled savagely. “My wife knows and is quite proud of her sons’ heritage and my father loved my mother dearly. Thank you for the information.” Odin put down the items he had looked into purchasing. “I do not think I will buy this from you.” The man’s face turned scarlet and Odin left as a spew of curses at his lineage followed him out the door. 

The horse gazed at him contently. “Time to go. You will finish eating later.” The horse snorted and let the bag be taken away. “We will be visiting the docks today. I should hope I get no more trouble from you.” The horse whinnied and began to trot as Odin led him to the nearest road. 

Nylösa was not the largest city in the Kingdom but it still required him to ask for direction so as not to lose his way. The docks were half a day’s ride from the city’s center. He stopped for his midday meal at a restaurant with enough clientele to stymie any concerns he had about its cleanliness.

Odin found the docks. The area was lively and exuberant, the eternal water clear as the skies upon Midgard. He saw a number of merchant vessels, one docked war ship that seemed ready to embark at a moment’s notice save for the children lining the deck, leisure ships, and one plain and unobtrusive vessel he knew could traverse the voids between the Realms and sail the Tree as easily as the sea and rivers of Asgard. 

The horse gazed at the water in wonder. Odin tied him and went off to ask about where to find the Jotnar neighborhood. A group of naval men passed him with hushed voices, he caught the end of a conversation about remaining alert at Thor’s newest decree. 

The Realms were at peace. Why had his son set the guards to the ready? Surely he was not planning a war or skirmish? Had he angered anyone enough for them to even attempt to attack Asgard?

He resisted the urge to cast the Sight to the palace, he would be at danger or look deranged should he attempted there. He would need to coach his son in less war ready ways and perhaps, if it came to it, separate him from Sif, whose dominion was War in its deadliest and most destructive form. 

For all Lady Sif was a noble, she hungered and thrived in battle at the very root of her being. Even if she did not mean to cast such an influence it could be affecting his son’s judgment. Though perhaps it would drive Thor closer to her and her war-faring ways. 

Odin shook his head. He was being unduly critical of the lady. Sif had never given Odin cause to doubt her or her place in Thor’s life. A brief romance in early adolescence had been but a brief deviation from her and Thor’s relationship (though he saw the looks they sometimes threw another). 

He caught sight of several ship farers but was suitably ignored when he tried to maintain eye contact and start a conversation. After half an hour he found a guard who looked bored and eager to help him. 

“I am looking for the Jotun neighborhood.” The guard, unlike the merchant, did not give him a distasteful look. 

“You need to leave the docks the way you came. From the main road keep heading toward the Hall. Turn left on third side street, which will look more like an alley, and head straight until you hit the neighborhood. You will pass a small garden, mostly filled with flora native to Jotunheim and unusually large due to our fair weather, that is the back to the apothecary shop.”

“Thank you.” The man nodded. 

“Here to serve.” He grinned. “You are not the first stranger wanting to see the oddness of the Jotun without venturing to Jotunheim, be respectful of the citizens.” He gave him a stern look. “Even the Jotnar must complete the service. They are usually stationed within their own neighborhoods.”

Odin nodded, thanked him again, and headed off toward his horse. He took a moment to assess the marina that he saw only a few meters from his location. The dock was well cared for and maintained. He needed to see the neighborhood, resolve some of his concerns, then head about seeing Asgard as he had planned, then move on again to Vanaheim. 

He untied his horse and followed the directions given to him. He passed the apothecary garden and believed landed in the neighborhood three houses later. The area was cramped; perhaps because it had not been made with the inhabitants in mind, but well cared for and in no worse shape than the rest of the city. He saw three Jotun guards in armor a bit too unrefined to serve as any true protection. 

The Jotun near him gave him a wide berth. Odin steeled himself and headed forward. He saw a group of children glance at him; one girl was covered with dirt and leaves. Odin couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face. Loki had gotten into similar mischief ages ago. 

Thor had conspired to distract him and Frigga long enough for Loki to clean and place the blame on the destruction of Frigga’s garden on the pigs (which would have been let out). Had Frigga not been in aggravated that day, they may have gotten away with it. 

Frigga had stormed into Loki’s chambers and found the boy still washing the dirt off. His son’s pouting face his over the supper table, cheeks still bulging from a slight chubbiness held over toddlerhood exaggerated petulant gesture, would forever be on of his most cherished sights. By contrast, Loki would always overshadow Thor’s unhappy frown. 

The smile must have unnerved them because the children ran with a shout to the nearest guard who glanced at him with suspicion. Odin tied the horse and left him finishing his earlier meal. He began to walk around the neighborhood trying to get a feel of the place. 

He saw the normal grocers, clothiers, and shops. The apothecary carried an impressive selection and he resisted buying a live herb for Frigga’s garden and magic. He would return and purchase one for her once it was over, before he returned to the throne. 

He found a tiny inn, more of a bar and restaurant and decided to stay the evening there. His horse found board in a tiny cramped stall. Nothing had passed for him to witness but the hostility against the Jotnar and tension in the neighborhood set him on edge. 

When he awoke he ate breakfast alone, a bland thing no better than his meal yesterday. He heard the door open.  
“Kolbakr!” A new voice called. He turned and saw an Aesir woman enter with children, and a Jotun man. A group of children were with them; a toddler, and two school aged children, a boy and girl. The toddler hid behind the Jotun, her small face only partially visible behind his leg. It took Odin a moment to realize he was the children’s father and the woman their mother, who must have been at least a halfing like him. 

“Kolbakr!” She called again. The barkeep came with a look of annoyance. 

“What is it Ásný?”

“Berkhildr needs to use your washroom.” She said pointing to the toddler who began to squirm in a way Odin recognized well from the days of sodden pantaloons and embarrassed crying. 

“You can use them, Ásný. You know I would not refuse you.”

“Yet you require purchase normally.” She replied.

“Mother, I wish for some juice.” The girl replied as if sensing an opening. 

“I never demand payment for little Birna is one of my best clients through you.” Ásný laughed. Berkhildr began to squirm more earnestly. The father picked her up and headed toward the washrooms. 

Odin turned his attention toward the window to glance at the streets. A group of passing adolescents had him thinking back to the college. The visit had left him dissatisfied. It had been well cared for but not as well maintained, as it should have been, but had offered more courses than it should have (including healer training that Odin had heard about only in passing).

The library had sat half full, the student count to high for the meant for size of the college, but the buildings were well cared for and new additions built to accommodate the influx of students. The instructors had the experience and were well versed in their subjects. 

He had met Farulfr’s son, who looked distinctly like his father and just as good-natured. It had been largely unsatisfying because he could not learn what he had wanted there as he had. He would need time and records to go to the source of it. 

Odin needed time, he did not have enough of it. Thor’s regency coronation had been nearly a week and a half ago. He scowled at the thought of how badly Thor was doing, at least in comparison to what he had expected of him giving his training. Loki had been better suited for the throne, but Odin had hoped his eldest would supersede his expectations. 

A peel of laughter had him glancing at the family again. Kolbakr was tickling the little boy. Ásný caught his gaze and glared at him. The suspicion he had felt yesterday intensified in her gesture. Odin smiled politely and turned back to looking at the street. 

He decided to visit the Hall after his morning meal. He found his access severely restricted and it irritated him greatly. The gilded hall may glisten in the light of the day and the floors shined with the care put into them, he could hardly do more than walk about a room before he had to leave. 

He knew his access would be restricted, as was rational, but he should have more access to the Hall, to its history. Instead he glanced upon the portraits of the previous governor and their various well-dressed wives, with two governesses and one husband to break the pattern. 

Odin’s anger boiled anew. He would be stripping the titles of several families when this was over. Another day and he would move to another city, another town. Then onto Vanaheim.


	26. Chapter 26

“Loki, I must apologize for my outburst last eve.” Thor told him as they exited Mother’s chambers from their morning meal. Loki frowned at him. He had almost (almost) forgotten about the argument. The comment at least was welcome. “I have not handled the regency as I had hoped. Politics is not my strong suit.”

“You do well when you think.” Loki said. Thor glared briefly at the insult but continued as if he had not let it slipped. 

“May I see you two nights from today? We may spend time as brothers once more and forget court?” Loki frowned. Thor was sincere and he did miss his brother as his brother. He nodded. He had nothing else to do save for minor duties which were completed in the day and the search Grandmother’s journals. 

“I will see you then.” He replied. Thor smiled and gave him a hearty pat on his shoulder. Loki returned it, with a bit more enthusiasm than necessary. 

He saw Uncle Ve passing him, dressed in his counselor robes. He made a quick face and tugged on the robe. Loki laughed. Ve winked and headed toward the Great Hall. How much did Uncle Vil miss with his position in one of the minor courts of the city? He wondered, and wished he could offer his other uncle at least a passing platitude.

Mother exited last and laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Loki, have a good day.”

“You too, Mother.” She smiled at him and departed. 

Loki walked toward Father’s study. He did not feel comfortable leaving the journals in the open. Father had protected them for a reason. The study looked unkempt. He’d have to have a servant clean it before Father came back. 

He grabbed the journals and sat down on one of Father’s comfortable seats. He passed the rest of the morning reading. He called a servant to bring him a drink few hours after he started. Loki sipped from his cup as he turned another page of the journal in his hand. 

His grandmother had been an avid chronicler. Father had had the journals organized in chronological order but he missed large parts texts, centuries were missing between each volume. What kind of love drove you to burn every last trace of you deceased spouse?

Perhaps Bor had read about their courtship and it had driven him into a grief stricken frenzy. Every journal he had was from after their marriage, and a few before their children’s birth.

_Bor hath agreed upon Óðinn for the child. The child will be strong. As his quickening approaches I feel my energy draining. Bor worries daily. I hope that Óðinn will be loved by Bor should I perish to the cold halls. I hope Óðinn has my strength, and though it would irk my love, my height._

He should go faster but could not force himself to do so. He felt quite close to his grandmother; it was a ridiculous notion. He had never met her. And yet, she appeared to be like him, an outsider to the court and kingdom. 

She had only Grandfather until the birth of Father, Uncles Vil and Ve. Her friends were scattered through out the realms and kingdom. The journal ended two pages after. Father had still not been born. 

He opened the next journal; a few centuries had gone by since the last entry.

_Ve hath fallen in the garden again. Bor insisted he not cry. Thou cannot impart such words to a toddling! Óðinn comforted Ve. Vili suckles less daily and demands more of my sustenance. Bor asks why I do not suckle him more as with Ve and Óðinn though I told him the cause. Norns, Bor is fortunate that my love for him is as hardy as the coldest ice of Jotunheim for I do not know how I would tolerate such half-wittedness._

Loki chuckled. It would seem Bor was the root of Thor’s thick headedness and Bestla the root of Father’s wisdom. He found her expression odd, a relic of Father’s youth, no doubt. Maybe he should begin using it; at best it would get a rise from Father and his uncles. He kept reading. He had still not found the clue that Father had hinted at. 

At lunch he was no closer to find the answer. After luncheon he started a new journal. 

_Óðinn and Loptr ruined another feast this eve. My favorite gown is ruined. Bor gave Óðinn quite a punishment; I do not feel it merited the act. Bor always said I was too soft but perfect for him. Loptr escaped back to Jotunheim, Bor will waste his time or guards to punish the rascal. For all the trouble he causes I cannot say I regret Óðinn meeting the lad. His magic and studies have improved but will he make a fine king yet? Ve and Vili have hidden in the gardens. My evening will be spent herding my sons back into the castle, lest I be not cautious Óðinn may make his escape as well._

He turned the page. This was a first. 

_I feel ill. Heat is upon me. I find no respite from it here. Bor hath bade me to leave but I cannot forsake him at this time. War is upon our peoples. The boys are readying for battle. I cannot send my sons to die. Bor will take them all; I know this. My Óðinn, my Vili, and my Ve. Norns preserve me._

He kept reading finding the pattern was important. He past half the journals when night fell. He slept fitfully, images of his grandmother mirrored after his own mother and the few differences he saw from his uncles and father from the statues of his grandfather.

He awoke troubled. Would that occur to his mother? Images of their father littering the Realms and their mother fading from memory? He picked up the journal he had left off before falling asleep. 

_Óðinn worries of the throne. Ve and Vili do not wish to ascend. Should he abscond to the depths of the Tree I fear all is lost._

He left at that and went to the morning meal. He kept gazing at Frigga once too often, he knew. Mother merely raised a brow and waited for him to explain. Thor noticed and looked puzzled. Loki knew he looked anxious but the thought of Mother’s legacy would not leave him. 

He turned his attention to his food and ate quickly. He left the meal early and went back to the study. The journal lay undisturbed. He kept reading. 

_Óðinn enjoyed my singing. Vili does not comment though I see his pleasure. Ve would prefer to listen to a fair Van sing than my own voice. His obsession with their kind is startling at times, but it may bring peace between the two Realms should he marry a Vanir noble. Bor permitting, he may even marry for love as we had._

_Óðinn hath esteemed my song so much I must record it. Bor hath stated he is tired of that song though not my voice. Love hath created much adulation for it. Perhaps I may turn into the court’s bard from Queen!_

He could almost hear his grandmother’s excitement. He began to read the song beneath it.

_Long before the coming of the light_  
And the dark elves’ unending spite  
Up in the ending tree above  
Came the first act of love  
Long before the fated Norns began 

_A life that began anew_  
A sapling sought and spied by few   
Whose fate sat unknown by any being  
The fecund ground rose to cling  
Upon the roots like a blessed man 

_Ymir for all his towering height_  
Could not discern this strange sight  
He studied and tasted not of its fruit  
Unknowing his palate it would suit  
Yet the life caught the eye of his cow 

_Auðumla: from whom the four rivers flow  
Caught sight of the dewy grow  
She walked and courted as was her way  
Meaning she ate it heartily like hay  
The which wrinkled Ymir’s brow_

He smiled at he kept reading, a love song between the plant and cow. He wondered what music it accompanied. Perhaps that had been lost as well. Several more verses passed and he knew instinctively this was what he had been looking for. While grandmother had written down passages of poetry she liked and lists of errands/duties, this was her own creation. He had not seen one before in all the previous ones he had read.

The lyrics continued to describe Auðumla’s quest to rejoin the plant. Doing so she spread it’s seeds across the young Tree after running away from Ymir with the fruit of the plant. 

_My song certainly made an impression with Bor. Perhaps he hath sired a child anew! It was much like our wedding night. Bor’s strength-_ Loki wisely decided to not read the rest of that passage. 

He grabbed the cloth. He studied the pattern. It was small but he could now discern what had been drawn for the repeating pattern. A center mass, fruit of some sort, surrounded by seeds and the impression of hooves. The pattern would have seemed ludicrous but the design was so elegant and simple that the circling seeds and hooves were nearly unidentifiable without knowing what they were.

He felt giddy. He found the clue!

He found parchment and quickly copied the song. Now he needed to identify the tale, he hoped Grandmother had not embellished significantly in order to create a humorous tone. He ran his hands along the cloth again. Had Father simply found this and created a quest for him based off memory or had he had this made specifically for him? 

Once he solved it, then what? Mother had mentioned that she would not force Thor and him to resume their duties until Father’s return. Mother…He would search for the image of his grandmother and see for once what she looked like. Loki hoped Grandfather Bor had not had those destroyed with the journals. 

When evening came, he went to his uncle’s apartment. Ve looked tired when he opened the door. The smile he aimed at Loki was genuine in its warmth. 

“Loki!” Ve called. Loki smiled. 

“Uncle, I hope I am not intruding?”

“Intruding? I am not a youth, my boy. I have not had a lady in my rooms for quite a few centuries!”

“And out of your rooms?”

“A gentleman respects the wishes of a lady.” Ve replied. Loki laughed and entered. 

“I will be quick, uncle. You look as though you could use the respite. I simply wish to see if I am not seeing that which does not exist.” He held up the copied poem and the cloth. 

Ve read the poem, a grin sprouting as he did. “I had forgotten of this. It has been so long. I struggle to recall her voice.” Ve’s voice broke at the last comment. He blinked away tears. “This is Mother’s work.” 

“Does it match the cloth?” Ve studied it. 

“It does.” Relief spread through him. “I know this legend, but I assume Odin did not want me to flat out tell you what it was. I can confirm if you found the correct one as with the song if you do locate it.” Loki smiled and nodded.

“Thank you, uncle. Do you mind answering questions I have about Grandmother?” Ve nodded, he put the cloth down. 

“I have read her journals and she repeatedly refers to something as the Heat. She suffered it once and seemed to have last effects from her illness.” 

“The Heat is an illness, eradicated from most realms long ago before the birth of you and your brother. It fell heavily on the victim. Mother got it from a cousin of ours when she went to visit. Our cousin died.” Ve said somberly. 

“Mother had fallen ill from the Heat as a child; she was weak to it. It ultimately killed her. Before the cure the Heat would seldom be fatal but it fell upon certain families like a death echo taking children and adults in its wake.” He looked sharply at Loki. 

“It is not gone from all the Realms. There are outbreaks occasionally. You will know when you have it for its name. It is not simply fever that befalls you but as it names belies a burning heat that saturates the body. I had it as a child. It was not pleasant. Should you feel the effects Loki inform Eir at once. It took Mother. I do not care if I fall from it if ever return, but you are still young and have a long life ahead.”

“I will.” Loki said, though he doubted it would return to Asgard. Despite his earlier comment Loki spent the rest of the evening talking with Ve over their grandmother and his childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry you had to suffer my bad poetry!


	27. Chapter 27

Loki entered Thor’s rooms, his brother looked somber. Loki frowned. “What is the matter?” He asked, wondering if he had missed something from court. Thor answered after a moment. 

“Father has sent me a letter.” Loki had wondered about the lack of communication from him. 

“No good news?”

“He did not chastise me. Questioned my choices but stated he trusted my judgment.” Yet no praise. Loki did not want to deal with an angry or ill-tempered Thor. 

“Does he offer any advice?”

“No.” 

“I am certain Father is proud of you. If his tone is harsher than in mine letters or lacks praise, I believe he is doing so only because you are to be King. If you feel he is hammering at you , it is to gauge your strengths and weaknesses in order to improve as heir. My place on the throne was simply a precaution. We were both meant to be Kings, but only one will rule.” Thor seemed to be swayed by his words. Loki still sensed his hesitation, his malaise. 

“Has Mother chastised you? Mother who has ruled alone for centuries and along Father’s side for more?” 

“No. She has offered her counsel-“

“As she with me. You have done well. Should you have erred severely, Mother would have seen to it as with Father. You knew the responsibilities of the throne would not be easy, Thor.” He smiled at him reassuringly and laid a hand on his shoulder. 

“I do not mean that it was easy for me, far from it. I think that you feel it more heavily than I do for you know your responsibility to this kingdom. Take heart in knowing you have not failed, this is not an easy task or quest to be overcome.” He felt his brother relax at the words. “There will be stumbles for all, even for Father.” 

“You’re right. I have read too much from Father’s letter.”

“You saw what you needed to see.” Loki said, honestly meaning it. He had his doubts about his own letter. “Let us put this away. Did we not meet to discuss everything but court?” Thor laughed, loudly and so familiar that even Loki smiled. He had missed his brother. 

“Yes!” He called for a servant who brought mead and food for them. They began with a simple meal and went on to play a game soon afterward. Thor won the first match. “Victory is mine!” 

“Not for long!” Loki replied and reset the board for the next game. Loki kicked off his shoes and went to pour them more mead, light enough to give them a light kick but one that would fade quickly. Thor did the same, and then headed toward his bedroom. When he came out a moment later he was dressed in sleeping clothes. 

“I have news regarding Father’s quest.” Loki told as he began to plan his moves, in part to distract his brother and another to simply tell him. 

“Have you made progress?” Loki smiled. 

“Yes. I found Grandmother’s journals. I have read most of them but have only a few volumes left.” he took a sip of his drink. “Grandfather burned the majority of them. Uncle Ve believes it was love that drove him to it.”

“Love? Do you believe it?” Thor asked as he moved. 

“I doubted it but if Grandfather loved Grandmother as much as I can tell she did him, then I believe it. I also found the song father hinted at, Uncle Ve confirmed it. Now I must find the source.” 

“Do you think you will find it in time?” Thor asked. “Is it a challenge or was the challenge finding song the true challenge?”

“It has not been easy, Thor. The journals were hidden, then to read them tedious. I doubt the tale will be so simple. I have never heard of it.” 

“I can take a look at it. I doubt I have heard of it if you have not, but I may still lend a hand.” Loki nodded. A silence fell upon them. “What was Grandmother like?” Thor asked as he contemplated a move almost mid way through the game. 

Loki thought about it. “I have only her writings. I spoke about her with Uncle Ve yesterday but I know she loved her family. Enjoyed reading and study. She helped spur the building of the Palace’s library. Before the main library was in the Capitol’s University. She had a sense of humor. She also worried about the kingdom, relations, everything I believe Mother does.” 

He frowned. “She did not ride horses. I did not ask Uncle Ve why but I came across a passage where Grandfather apparently tried to coax her on a steed he had purchased for her. She said she could cross the ground in less strides than upon a horse.” 

“So she could not ride or feared it?” 

“I do not know. There were no other passages referring to it.” 

“What did she look like? Like Father or our uncles?”

“I don’t know.” He looked seriously at him. “Do you not find it strange that there are no images of Grandmother but we have seen a myriad of Grandfather’s, even from enemies and dissenters?” Thor frowned. 

“Now that you mention it, I do. I don’t know if I even saw a glimpse of one.” 

“Nor I. I fear the same will happen to Mother.” Thor startled. That had not crossed his mind. “I dreamt of Grandmother; she was Mother in all but face.” 

Thor opened his mouth to retort then closed it. “I fear you are right. There are no statues in Mother’s name and her portraits are hardly numerous.” 

“We must make the suggestion to father that a statue must be commissioned for her. Even if in the Palace garden.” 

“Yes.” Thor frowned. 

“Did Father tell you anything else?”

“Nothing I wish to share.” Loki nodded, understanding. The game went on into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll be back to Odin in the next chapter!


	28. Chapter 28

The journey around Asgard passed quickly. Odin found that he was satisfied by the state of affairs in a general sense. No one wanted for food or basic necessities, the economy faired well, and, while progress did not come quickly, the sciences, arts, and education did not remain stagnant. Complacency was not something he wanted to be remembered for.

He left for Vanaheim two days before Thor’s reign was to end. He travelled around the territory in a calculated manner- Capital, two cities, and three towns. It hardly was enough but the region of Vanaheim, the planet and not just the region of the Tree that claimed that name, was so much bigger than Asgard. 

Vanaheim suffered its burden as a territory. The nobility had taken the conquest better than the general population due to the fact that he had allowed them to keep their rank and several privileges that the general populace did not. He could understand why the commoners rejected his presence their but why Hogun easily called Thor amongst his closest friends. 

He patted his horse on the rump. He still had not named the creature but after his journey would make sure he was given a nice life of leisure. He trotted down Asgard’s roads calmly and stopped in front of a Vil’s home. 

He secured the horsed and entered the home. Vil greeted him after almost an hour. Clearly surprised to see him, his brother ushered him into the library once more. Spells went up almost immediately. 

“Odin, you are back early.”

“Yes. I do not intend to take up the crown just yet; Frigga has several more days left to rule alone. I plan on relaxing in that time and enjoying it without the pressures of the throne.” 

“Will you return to the palace or will I have the pleasure of your company for the time being?”

“I will return. How have you found the boys’ regencies?”

“Better than I anticipated. I admit I wondered what you planned when I heard the proclamation but I am glad you had done so now. The two needed the experience and Frigga was able to guide them where they are weak. 

“I also spent time I did not expect with them, especially Loki. I am even more glad now to call myself uncle to them.” 

“That is good to hear. Good to hear indeed.”

“Now can I ask where you went or will that stay a secret?”

“No, I will divulge it freely now that it is over. I was here in Asgard and Vanaheim.”

“Here? I could have sworn you had gone to Jotunheim with the trinkets you sent back.”

“Those are not exclusive to Jotunheim, Mother was not the only Jotun to live in Asgard.” Vil hummed in agreement. 

“What are you planning, Odin?” 

“Change, brother. Nepotism, greed, hatred and stupidity is crippling our home. I have seen much and not enough. My citizens are suffering while others revel in prosperity.”

“I could have told you of that easily enough, Odin. There was no need for a journey.”

“But you look the part of the nobleman, Vil, for all you have tried to hide from it. If you are not suspected of noble lineage, there in your demeanor is the attitude of a man from a life well lived with few hardships.” 

“So you hid in order to be freer.” Vil surmised.

“Yes.”

“You are correct in my demeanor. I have had a few men and women of the years guess my true identity from behaviors I do not find unusual but are indeed a left over from childhood at court.”

“Then you see why I hid. There is only so much that can be told and not seen. Now, how about a drink to my return before I head to the Palace?”

“I will drink readily to that!” Vil replied. “Should we call for Ve? He could come in no time.”

“Yes.” Odin said. “It has been a while since we three could enjoy each other’s company as before.” Vil sent the message to Ve, vague but urging him to come. Less than half an hour later Ve was at Vil’s door looking worried. 

When he entered the library he gave a hearty cry. “Odin!” His brother hugged him. Odin returned the gesture, without the worry of court demeanor or politics his brother was more relaxed around him. “I worried you would not return after your sojourn.”

“And leave you alone in the court, you old goat?”

“Who are you calling old?” Ve replied indignantly. “If I recall I was still a boy when your first hairs sprouted on your chin.” 

“How long has it been since you glanced at your reflection?” Odin retorted. “Your hair is grey as mine.” Ve immediately ran his hair through his hair self-consciously. Vil snorted. 

“Brothers? Are we hear to squabble or drink?”

“Well I came because you said it was urgent but drinking I am agreeable to.” Ve replied at once. “To the return of our king?” 

“To the return of our brother.” Vil clarified.

“Aye, there will be no All-Father tonight.” Odin replied. “For the next few hours it will simply be us, the Borsons.” Ve clapped him heavily on the back in agreement. 

“To the Borsons!” Vil handed them their cups and said seriously.

“To the Bestlajarsons.”

“To us all!” Odin added and the three toasted before drinking. The next few hours passed quickly. Odin found himself roaring with laughter and at ease he had not found himself in for a long while. 

When evening came for him and Ve to depart, he picked up his horse from Vil’s stable with a heavy heart. He headed home and soon Odin All Father would return without the chance of such casual leisure. 

He snuck into the palace, his own quarters. Ve took the horse to the stables for him. He changed and waited for Frigga, who appeared to still be at court. He thought about going to Loki and Thor but decided against it. His sons would see him soon enough, one more evening would not change anything. 

He read until he heard the door to the rooms open. He stood, closed the book, and began walking to Frigga.

“Who goes there?” Frigga asked. Her hand grasped a golden sword. Odin could see her from his vantage and couldn’t help but remember why he loved the woman. Her strength, her power to equal his in its own right, and her beauty even after all those years could take his breath away.

“My Queen.” Odin called from the bedchamber. Frigga smiled, widely. The sword went back into its scabbard.

“Odin.” She did not run toward him but glided regally toward. “You are early.”

“Yes, my love. However I will be enduring my few days with our sons rather than return to court so soon.” Frigga kissed his cheek.

“They will welcome your company.”

“Did they rule well?”

“Their conduct merits your praise and pride.” Odin smiled. “Of course they had difficulties but our sons faired well.”

“There will be time enough for us to discuss them in the morn.” His arms circled her waist. “If you do not object, I would enjoy showing you how much I have missed you this eve.”

Frigga smiled, a wicked thing that ignited his lust for her. “Is that not presumptuous? I am serving as Queen of Asgard, alone without her king. Perhaps I must spend time on issues of the state.”

“Then how may I serve my queen?” Odin knelt. Frigga licked her lips. 

“Arise and show her your power.” Odin rose and in one movement swept her into his arms and taking her to their bed. Frigga laughed gaily in his arms. 

It was good to be home.


	29. Chapter 29

“Good morning, boys.” Odin greeted his sons had just sat the table with Frigga. Frigga smiled at their reactions. Both jumped out of their seats, looking more like children than the men they were. Odin did not expect the embraces to be as enthusiastic as they were. 

“Father!” Loki greeted brightly, his demeanor so much more like his happy childhood than a few months before. Odin smiled embraced him heartily. He hugged Thor with equal vigor but knew that Thor expected it. Loki appeared to appreciate the act, a fact that saddened him and filled him with regret.

“When did you return?” Thor asked. “This morning?”

“Last night.” He gave a brief recount of his evening, excluding certain activities with his wife. “I hope you two will not object to spending the next few days with me?”

“Of course not.” Thor replied. 

“Good!” Loki replied. “You owe me a match, Father. Do not think I have forgotten. I think it will be a fitting return to lose to your son with the weapon you gifted him.”

“Are you planing on slaying me or sparring with me?” Odin replied dryly at his enthusiasm. Loki laughed. “Now let us settle to eat. Your mother must be off soon.” They ate together, a comfortable conversation going around the table. 

Odin was surprised to hear Frigga had imprisoned one of his advisors. Loki explained the matter quickly, the man had hidden information from them for his own personal gain. The investigation had taken longer than anyone had expected, the man was obviously adept at politics but the skill he showed had surprised them all. 

“Do not think i forgot your challenge, Father. I completed it as well!” Loki added triumphantly. He and Thor glowed with pleasure at their achievements. Odin nodded, unsurprised Loki had found the solution to his riddle. 

“That is good to here, perhaps now I can tutor you in my own style of magic.” Odin added. Thor scowled. 

“Am I the only one without a talent for it?”

“Nonsense, Thor, you take after you uncles.” Frigga added. Earning a glare from their son. She laughed. “If you dedicated yourself more, you could perhaps control more than just your sparks.”  
The conversation strayed into the regencies after that. Odin was quite proud of Frigga’s praise and when she chastised, the two seemed to heed her advice with care.

“I am glad this went well. When one of your rules, I am glad Asgard will be in capable hands.”

“There is still much to learn.” Thor said.

“Then it is fortunate that time is on your side.” Odin replied. Thor nodded, looking relieved. Odin was gladdened by his reaction. Perhaps there was still hope for his eldest. 

Though it would be embarrassing and shameful to crown Loki before Thor, if Thor did not learn to control his temper and act as a king should then Odin would have no choice. Asgard’s safety and conduct outweighed any of their personal interest.

When Odin revealed he had travelled Asgard and its territories, he was met with surprise from them all. “I had sought truth that I had become out of touch with. My advisor appears to be one of many ills in the Kingdom that I will be addressing in the future.”

“I am glad, Father.” Thor said. “I hope you will allow me to help you better our home and people.”

“Of course. I welcome it.” Their conversation was cut short with Frigga’s departure to Court. Odin ushered his sons to his study where they passed the morning conversing and catching up. They parted ways in the afternoon.

Odin went to his library and smiled at the half organized mess. Loki had read but had not put back his work. He spotted his mother’s journals carefully sitting next to his favorite chair. Loki had found his safe then. Odin ran his hand along the spine of the journals. He would start making right by his mother’s people and her memory. 

In the following days, Odin felt younger than he had in centuries. Loki and Thor’s presence was like a balm on his spirits after his trip and after his realizations of his failings. He could still repair things, he had not failed. His advisors tried to speak with him, but Frigga had firmly decreed that no one was to bother the All Father. 

He and Loki planned to spar with gusto in the evening. This would be no public spectacle, just privy to their family. Loki looked very excited with his new weapon, a purchase that Odin could not regret. It was worthy of his son. 

The fight was difficult, long but in the end Odin’s years of experience superseded above Loki’s youth. His son laughed, sweaty and tired from their fight. A round of applause came from his brothers, Thor and Frigga. Frigga kissed Loki on the cheek for a job well done. Despite his embarrassment from the action, Loki couldn’t help but look proud. He had not bested Odin but he had lasted.

“Father, will you spar with me?” Thor asked. 

“Perhaps another day.” “ Thor gave an over dramatic sigh. Loki gave them a cross look. “Until then I suggest you spar with Loki, he has to become better acquainted with his spear.”

“Looking forward to a rematch, Father?” Loki asked. 

“Of course. I will feel old, but welcome the day I am bested by you two. It means you two have had the chance to grow beyond what I did. I suspect you already do in the ways of the arts, Loki.” Loki beamed and Thor huffed. 

Odin did not look forward going to court in the next few days. 

The return to court was not the most unwelcome. The ceremony to transfer back power to him from Frigga was small. His advisors tried to catch him up on the events he had missed, showing to be quite disappointed when he announced that his sons and wife had done so in the interim of his return to Asgard and return to court. 

“Eiríkr, rise.” he ordered, even in the privacy of his rooms the advisor looked nervous. “I have been told it was your actions that brought to the attention of the court the treacherous actions of Hekkr.” Eiríkr nodded. “Your Kingdom thanks you for your actions.” 

Odin rose and looked at each of his advisors individually, allowed a moment of silence to pass before he continued. Eiríkr didn’t know if he should sit in that moment, so chose to remain standing.

“I passed my trip in the Asgard and its territories. In this time I came to realize certain discrepancies in the reports presented to me have been lacking. I do not appreciate being lied to nor do I appreciate any ‘condensations’ of information that should be brought to my attention.

“Asgard will start instituting changes once the new political year begins. Eiríkr, as you have shown the character to provide this family with accurate reports and act against those who would conceal the truth, you will be at my side.” He gazed at the other advisors. “Until I am sure I may trust you or you inspire me with confidence, the rest of you will be relieved of your positions as soon as the new year beings.”

A roar of protests went up. Odin held up his hands. Silence fell across the room. “I will not reconsider my decision without demonstrated proof that you are in truly serving Asgard.

“I do not care whose sons you are and what services your fathers have done. If you have demonstrated work in favor of Asgard and in the face of nepotism, you will be dismissed. There is nothing else that can save you otherwise.”

Odin gave a vicious smile. 

“Now, I will need help with the upcoming sponsorship ceremony. I am confident that is at least something you cannot mask or corrupt with any nonesense.”

The court was full of spectators both common and noble from through out the kingdom waiting to see who would request patronage from the court itself rather than through trade houses or lords. Odin sat in his best armor with Frigga next to him in her best gown. He never quite liked these ceremonies but it was custom to hold them every few centuries. 

It was seldom that any true artistic or scholarly ambition truly impressed him but he could not reschedule it so soon. He could, of course, but that would be a sign of an irresponsible king without a true emergency to draw him away from his duties. Many of his citizens, and those from abroad even, had arranged to come and for some it would be their only opportunity. 

To his left Thor and Loki stood at attention ready to observe and learn. They had attended two other of these courts but he could tell they were bored already- the last two courts had hard hardly been inspiring. With a bang of his staff he began the procession. 

First two entered a young, finely dressed, scholar with a look of determination in his eyes. Then he spoke. After he finished Odin had a scribe take down his name, address, and informed him that he would be informed of his decision within a day. The scholar bowed and left. And so it continued, the only unusual guest being a dark haired little girl who came to him in her best gown- though clearly that of a peasant:

“I am Olga Wulfsdottir, sire.” The child said before him, a small rusted dagger strapped to her belt scrapping along the floor as she bowed. She stood spoke in clearly rehearsed words. “I come requesting a sponsor because I wish to become a warrior and my parents cannot afford the weapons and armor that would be required throughout my training.” Then. “Please.” 

Odin hid his smile. To his left he saw the Lady Sif clearly smiling at the child who wished to join the ranks of Asgard’s warriors. While Asgard’s women had always fought beside her men, there were nearly twice as many men to every woman. He regarded her solemnly instead and then decreed:

“At this time I must decline sponsorship.” He said and saw her face fall, tears welling up in her eyes. Lady Sif looked angered. A murmur rose from the crowd. “I would gladly see you again, child, when you have grown and are able to hold a training sword but at this time you are far too small. As such I must decline. However,” He paused and saw the girl trying to keep her sobs contained. “if you still wish to become a warrior in the future I will grant your sponsorship.” She looked taken aback. 

“Thank you, sire! Thank you!” she said and bowed hastily, her dagger once again scrapping the floor. He grimaced.

“Lady Sif,” He called. Lady Sif walked toward him. 

“Sire?”

“Take the young Wulfsdottir to the armory for a proper weapon, that dagger will not do for an aspiring shieldmaiden.” Lady Sif hid a smile and bowed. 

“Of course, your majesty.” 

“Thank you! I will make Asgard proud!” Olga called as Sif took her from the room. The girl’s small frame trembled with excitement. In the corridor he saw a woman bow to Sif, the girl’s mother no doubt. Her face fell as her daughter recited his decree and then brighten as she continued. The woman glanced toward him. Their eyes met. The woman’s eyes widened as the door shut. 

“Next!” And yet another scholar stood before him. Towards the evening he had a surprise when a Jotun walked into court. Two guards were following him as he entered. The Jotun was dressed in Asgardian garb and Odin knew he was one of Asgard natives. He sat straighter in his seat. 

A murmur rose through out the room until all he heard was a cacophony. He saw Thor reach for his hammer, his face stern. Loki looked up to him considering, not one to forget words. The Jotun bowed before him but did not speak. 

Odin brought down his staff. “Silence!” He yelled. The room went quiet. “I apologize for my courts behavior, pray, begin.” Odin told the Jotun. 

“I am Snær Snæbjörnson, All Father. I come requesting sponsorship for my craft. I am a bard by trade and have studied the works of Asgard and Jotunheim. I would, if you permit, conduct a study on the influence of Jotunheim on the works of the Aesir.” A roar of outrage broke out again. Denouncements and slurs raged around them. 

Odin quickly brought down his staff. “SILENCE!” He roared, this time putting power behind his words. “I will not have such unbecoming behavior in my halls! If you cannot stand silent I will empty this court! A citizen of Asgard stands before me, acting on rights he is rightfully entitled to, and I will hear him even if I must exile all of you to do so!” 

The court fell deathly quiet and Odin glanced back at Snæbjörnson. “Rise.” The Jotun did and gazed upon him unmoved. “While a worthy endeavor, it hardly is the usual request from those of your trade. Why do you come to this court to ask thusly?”

“I have attempted from lords, ladies, and even the local college, sire, but none would hear my request for patronage.” Snæbjörnson answered. 

“I see.” He looked upon him solemnly. Then he glanced at Loki and Thor. Several moments passed then he said: “I will grant this request.” A quite murmur rose but quickly died at his look. “As you may have been treated unjustly in the past Lord Ve will handle your stipend and housing.” From the crowd his brother came forth and gazed upon Snæbjörnson with a friendly smile. 

“Next!”

In the evening he met with Frigga. “My heart, we must discuss the truth with Loki.”  


Frigga looked pleased and surprised by the news. “I have thought of it long, but if we are to repair this kingdom, we must first start with our family. Loki deserves the truth, as you had first thought.”

“Then we will.” Frigga said softly. Odin took a shuddering breath. 

“First, first I must speak with Laufey. Not about Loki,” he said quickly when he saw Frigga’s startled looked. “but about opening trade with our people. It will be a good start to allowing for improved relations with our peoples.” 

“It is, but will we tell Loki the truth of his parentage as well?”

“We must, or I fear denying it all together will risk losing him completely.” Frigga kissed him. He had made many mistakes. He just hoped that he could repair them without shattering everything first.


	30. Chapter 30

Establishing the meeting with Laufey had taken longer than Odin had anticipated. He had envisioned the meting taking place within weeks of the night he spoke with Frigga. Instead it had taken two months with communication taking place between diplomats and messengers rather than in person even conferencing over secured lines.

He had ended stressed about the matter more than he had anticipated. Each day that passed the feared that the relationship between their kingdoms would worsen instead of remaining as they were. His family was a source of relief for him and respite. 

Thor excelled in his diplomacy lessons after his time on the throne. Loki seemed to bloom under his attention in their private lessons. His son had exceeded his expectations by more counts than Odin remembered. It was unusual for a man of Loki’s age to be so powerful but to be powerful and skilled nearly was unheard of. 

In the end Alfheim agreed to serve as the meeting ground for the two Realms. Guards lined the entrances of the hall. Odin sat in an empty hall with only Ve for his company. Laufey sat opposite of them with his own general and advisor. The two towered over them. It was almost ridiculous to think they shared any heritage in common by their appearances. 

Ve broke the silence with a well-rehearsed speech. Laufey did not appear moved by the speech craft; instead it only seemed to irritate him. Odin quickly took over, laying out the groundwork of the meeting despite it being relayed in messages for the past few months. 

“And why should we engage in such…trade as you have called it when I have heard nothing in what Jotunheim may benefit in exchange?” Laufey began his voice deep and resonating in the small room. “Why do you engage me in such diplomacy after centuries of silence and hostility?”

Odin schooled his features into a bland expression. “It has come to my attention that my advisors have been less than forthright with me in many affairs. I believe one of those is the nature of our relationship with Jotunheim and the Jotnar in Asgard. It is time I cease to be led and act to what was once blind to me. 

“Jotunheim will benefit from the wealth of Asgard, both commercial and culturally. In additional our people will be able to socialize and commune with each other as before.”

“Jotunheim has done just fine without Asgard’s interference in its affairs. I do not see how we can improve from you directly. You may have imposed restrictions in trade between our people but there is still plenty of ways to come across resources that are solely Asgardian in nature if the need arises.” Laufey’s general replied.

“Yet no doubt for a higher price than would be paid if trade were initiated directly.” Ve retorted.“No doubt there are many in Jotunheim that wish to see Asgard?” He replied. 

“Perhaps but that desire is superceded by their need for safety. Tell me, All Father, what measures would be taken to ensure my people were safe in Asgard? That they were not victims of malice or simple corruptions such as unfair trade deals in resorts?”

“I understand your concern, Laufey but rest assured my people will be schooled-“

“Will be?” Laufey cut off. “You cannot even protect your own citizens from injustices how can I be assured that my own will be safe? A will be does not guarantee anything but empty possibilities. What ACTIONS HAVE THE AESIR COMMITED TO SHOW MY PEOPLE WILL BE SAFE?” 

“I have already answered your question Laufey.” Odin replied. “What more do you wish for me to do? I do not claim to be perfect, I have acknowledge my people have their own faults and I will attend to them.” he hissed. “I am not saying that your people must come at once or that my people to Jotunheim but our people will be able to travel easier if we start negotiations now as I address these matters at home.”

“I wish for more because I cannot trust your word, All Father. I cannot trust the word of a man who has claimed to be benevolent for years when he is naught more than a murderer.”

“The war was justified-“

“I do not speak of the War.” Laufey hissed, an anger boiling that Odin did not understand. “I do not care for the Casket as you might think. My people may benefit from its return one day but they are not crippled as Asgard believes it to be without it. No, you know very well what I speak of All Father.”

“I do not.” 

“Of course you do.” 

“I do not, I murdered no one on Jotunheim.”

“Then what became of the child you found in the temple when you went for the Casket?” Laufey demanded, his face twisted in a vicious pain. “What happened to the child that you alone would have come across if the tales of your achievements are true?”

“Child?” Odin gasped.

“Odin?” Ve whispered. 

“Yes, my child. My son that was in the temple and vanished the day you left with the Casket?”

“I-I-I murdered no child, Laufey.” Odin replied and realizes he could not reveal what happened to his son. 

“So you deny my son’s existence and murder at your hands? That is the reason you cannot be trusted, All Father.” Laufey sneered. “You may have forgotten the boy but I have not. I have not forgotten my youngest. 

“What will happen when one of my people is murdered by your own? Will they conveniently disappear as my son? Until you provide proof you did not murder my child or admit to it this discussion will go nowhere.” Laufey glanced at him. “I have tolerated your sons and people on Jotunheim but no more. If your sons set foot upon Jotunheim without the proper channels of diplomacy, they will be arrested. Is that not right, Lord Thrym?”

Odin glanced at his general. “Of course, sire. After all, weddings are not cheap for our people. All Father, Thor owes me either his hand or a bride.” 

Odin was left speechless for once. When the two realized he would not answer, Laufey rose. “All Father, Prince Ve.” and he left. 

“Odin?” Ve asked, his tone showing the shock he felt. “What was that about?”

“Loki. My son…I stole my son.” 

“Norns, preserve us.” Ve whispered. They returned to Asgard not long after. Frigga, Frigga needed to know the news. They had to break the information to Loki soon.


	31. Chapter 31

“Loki, will you come into the study?” Odin called. Frigga gave him a reassuring smile, she had wanted to have this talk for a long time. Now Odin could agree with her, but wondered if perhaps with his treatment in the past if it would have seemed like the defining role of his favoritism toward Thor in Loki’s mind.

Loki smiled warmly upon seeing them. “Hello, Father, Mother.” Frigga hugged him. Loki looked surprised but returned the gesture. Odin decided to follow suit, he could not predict how this revelation would turn out. “Now what is that matter? Am I being sent off?”

“No, of course not. Can’t a mother show her affection toward her son?”

“And likewise a father?” Odin added. Loki gave them a look that clearly stated he knew they were going to discuss something serious. He in a chair and waited for them to sit across from him.

“Loki, I have come to realize that I have not been the father you have deserved. I hope you can forgive me for my failure.” Odin began. Loki looked surprised. “I left you wanting without realizing my own failings or your wants. I allowed for my role as king to bypass my role as your father.”

“Father, I appreciate your honesty. I admit there were times I did feel…lesser than Thor. I assumed you favored him because he was to be king. As time went on I suspected you favored him simply because I am so unlike the two of you.” he glanced at Frigga. “Mother was there but I still felt bereft for you. I thought for a long while that I was selfish.”

“There are things you deserve to want, Loki. Selfishness in certain circumstances is not a fault. You are right to want your parents’ attention, the attention of a family that is to be there with you.” Frigga said. 

“I will say that the situation has improved. There has been a change in your behavior, Father. A welcome change from before, if I felt bereft I can say now that I do no longer.”

“I am glad to hear that.” Odin could not look his son in the eyes as he spoke the next sentence. “I called you here to discuss something that should have been divulged for some time.” He took a steadying breath. “A matter your mother believed I should have always been straight forward with you and Thor.”

“Father?” Loki’s mood was no longer jovial. He sat, serious and attentive. 

“I love you, never doubt that.” Odin continued. “Loki, what I have hidden from you is your parentage.”

“What do you mean?”

“What your Father is trying to say, Loki, is that you came to us not by blood or birth but by choice-“

“Are you saying I am not your son?” Loki asked.

“Of course you are.” Frigga said quickly. “Never doubt that. You are our son in all but blood.”

“You’re adopted, Loki.” Odin finished as if the two had never spoken. He still could not look at his son from the shame he felt at neglecting him, at hiding his heritage. A heritage he may have drawn strength from.

“Who are my parents? Did they perish in the War? Why did you take me?”

Odin looked up at his son. It felt like was once again at the battlefield and entering the Temple, listening to the frantic cries of an infant left alone for too long. A child abandoned and in need, a child who had appeared after so much death. 

A child he had thought abandoned. 

The thought sickened him. He had stolen a child, Odin Child-Thief, worse than Child-Killer as Laufey thought of him.

“You are correct to connect your adoption with the War.” Odin began. “However, they did not perish in the War. To my knowledge, they do not know you are alive.”

“What do you mean by that?” Loki asked cautiously. His expression closed and fragile at the same time. 

Odin took a breath, Frigga’s hand was a welcome reassurance. He grasped it tightly. “I had seen much death in the War. In the final stages, my men and I moved in Jotunheim’s capital, taking prisoners and killing as needed. I knew the War would soon be over. I faced Laufey then and he took my eye.

"He escaped from me but without the Casket. After the battle, I sought to take the Casket, which resided in their temple. I stepped into the Temple intent on ending the War with its removal when I heard a cry. An infant’s cry. I went to the source and spotted a newborn, alone and crying.”

“What?”

“That child was you, Loki. I thought you abandoned and took you. I named you after Loptr and announced to the court a new heir.”

“Who are my parents? Was I taken-“

“No, Loki. You are native to Jotunheim.”

“Native. You mean I am a-I cannot be- You must be mistaken. I cannot-cannot be one of them.” 

“You are Jotun, Loki.” Frigga declared, the words that Loki was unable to say.

“No-no. I am not a monster.”

“Never, Loki. Being Jotun does not make you a monster.” He looked at Odin, eyes glassy and expression sharp. His boy never was one to miss anything.

Loki said. “Why am I thus? What magic did you cast to deceive me?”

“I cast nothing, Loki. When I first held you as an infant, you changed. If it was in reaction to my touch or appearance, I know not but since your infancy you have appeared as you always remember yourself.”

“I see. Who are my parents?”

“Loki-it does not-“

“Who are they!” 

“Laufey and his Queen.” Odin uttered. In that declaration his son’s face completely closed off.

“That explains so much.”

“Loki, no.” Frigga began.

“Why Thor was always first. Of course I could never compete. I was a fool to think so. My oddities make so much more sense. I had thought for he was the first born but it is because he is not a monster!” his son sounded hysterical. 

“You are not a monster!” Odin yelled. Loki glanced at him, surprised at his outburst. “You are not a monster.” 

“Of course I am.” Loki grinned, a maniacal thing he did not like. “Or have you not listened to everyone in the kingdom.”

“They are fools.”

“Of course you say that. I ensnared you as a child. Deceitful even then.”

“No.” Frigga began.

Odin rose and Loki flinched when he reached for him. Oh his son. “You are not a monster, Loki.”

“How can you say that?” 

“I am your father.” 

“Odin.” Frigga chastised.

“I know, my love.” He took a deep breath. “If you are a monster, Loki, then so am I.”

“I don’t understand.” Loki began.

“My mother, you have not seen a portrait of her have you?” Frigga rose and brought out the wedding portrait of his father and mother. His father looked softer next to his mother, a man he could relate to rather than the hard, stern one he remembered. 

“Father?” Loki asked, sounding so young. Odin showed him the portrait. 

“This is my mother.” His mother looked lovely as he remembered her, taller than Bor. Bestla stood in her Jotun wedding garnments, proud and happy. Her intelligence could be seen in her eyes. 

“That is Bestla?” Odin nodded. “She was Jotun.”

“Yes. I am half-Jotun, half-Aesir. So are your uncles.” He rose and sat on the arm of Loki's seat. 

"It is not a heritage I disclosed or referred to after the War. Tensions between our peoples and I did not wish to draw attention to it. I instead focused on rebuilding. Eventually I stopped referring to it at all. I never noticed. Just as I never noticed the severe change in attitude to all things Jotun or nonAesir in the kingdom. 

"At one point in time people would declare their heritage with pride, now it is hidden. I am sorry I hid it from you, Loki. However I feared two things should it ever come to it. One that you would no longer see me as your father and that you tell then wrong company, endangering yourself without realizing it."

"Was there another reason you took me, All Father? It cannot have been as simple I was helpless. You could have given me to another family. Why did you keep me?" Odin glanced at Frigga. "Do not lie!"

Odin took a deep breath. "I had thought perhaps that I could place you on Jotunheim's throne. You are a legitimate heir."

"So your charity began as a political ploy? Is that what you meant that Thor and I were meant to be kings? You were going to place me on a throne that no one wants? Did I fail your expectations so much that I do not even deserve the crown of those beasts?"

"Do not twist my words, Loki!" Odin retorted, his own anger beginning to rise. "I had thought of that for a long time. It was my justification for keeping you because I am not permitted to selfish in such things! If anyone had found out your heritage it was an explanation that would hold to arguments for your removal from Asgard or the home. 

"You are of royal blood but I did not need an heir with Thor's presence. I could not leave you and I did not want to part from you when I spent more than a few hours together! I loved you from the moment I saw you. If you want to know the depth of my selfishness ask Frigga!" 

Loki turned his attention to her. His wife gazed at him patiently. 

"Mother?"

"You are not the first child Odin brought to me and begged for me to accept as my child."

"Thor." Loki replied shocked. 

"Yes. I am mother to no child by birth. I attempted for many years but the Norns decreed I was to be childless. It caused tension between your Father and I.

"At one point we could barely tolerate each other. Aside from court there was a point I did not speak to Odin. He walked into my chambers one morning with a child, newly born. His son."

"You betrayed Mother?" Loki demanded of Odin. 

"I did."

"Many times but never had a child appeared before Thor."

"Mother, how could you stay?" 

"A marriage can be complex, Loki. What your father and I agreed to does not concern you. At least in such terms."

"Until then I had not sired a child. Our dismay and state of our marriage made me act brashly. I cannot regret it for your brother was the result of it but I may in some ways."

"Yes. I can say with honesty that my love for your brother came slowly, while yours grew almost instantly."

"Does Thor know?" 

"No." Odin replied . 

"We are not perfect, Loki. We tried our best with you two but sometimes it means we fail. It is for the very reasons Odin mentioned hiding your parentage that Thor does not know I am not his blood mother."

"But you are our sons. We would die for you and now try to make amends for our wrongs, me more so." 

"Why did you find me easy to love but not Thor?" Loki asked Frigga, a neediness to his tone that made Odin ache. 

"Because he reminded me everyday of Odin's betrayal. What else could I do but agree to claim him as mine? It secured my place at the court in ways I lacked. Queens have hidden pregnancies before with magic. I am gifted in it so when Thor was announced people simply assumed I had done so. 

"But love him I did not. I can say I hated him for a few months, though I would never hurt him despite it. I do not know when I loved him. I think it was because he would cry at times and no one would come for him. He would reach for me despite my coldness toward him. He would smile and I knew he cared. I could not stand to scorn him at some point. 

"You were welcomed in better in our home. You needed a mother and I gladly would fill that role for you. And as you grew we had more in common than I ever had with Thor." 

Loki looked exhausted. 

“I wish to believe what you say but I cannot help my doubts. For such a long time I thought myself wrong, then wronged. Then you changed, Father. You and even Thor to some extent, but with this news I cannot help but doubt your words.”

“Loki-“ Odin began.

“No more, Father, please. Not for tonight, I wish to rest and think.” Frigga rose and hugged Loki, his son returned the gesture weakly. 

“I will always love you, Loki.” 

“Mother.” Loki sighed and pulled away. “I must think. I will contact you when I am ready to talk.” He looked at Odin. “All Father.” Odin did not hide the pain that remark caused him. Loki hesitated, appeared as if he would move toward him then left. Odin felt bereft. 

He hoped he still had a son when Loki called them once again.


	32. Chapter 32

Loki walked down be halls of the Palace in a daze. He was Jotun, son of Laufey. He was a prince by birth but not of Asgard. He was Laufey's son. The fact tore at his being. He wanted to do nothing more than wake up from this reality that seemed too harsh to be true. 

He looked at his reflection in a hallway mirror. He had cast that glamour as an infant. Loki didn't know if he could undo it now that he knew it existed. Could he look upon himself then? The idea filled him with revulsion. 

And yet. If what Odin had said was true then he was not alone. Father and Thor were part Jotun, his uncles. The Jotnar were not beasts knew that from dealing with them and his grandmother'a journals were proof enough. He himself was no simple creature. 

Thor did not, could not know. He hated the Jotnar more than Loki. He would exterminate them if he could. At least he boasted he would when king. Did Father know? He wondered. Would Thor say such things if he knew his brother was monster? He himself part monster?

He oriented himself. He was near the opposite end of the castle, almost at the farthest point from the personal quarters. He walked down with steady purpose. He knocked upon Uncle Ve's door. 

The door opened quickly. Ve's sour expression quickly changed into a pleased one. "Loki!" He greeted but his enthusiasm faded when he saw Loki's expression.

"May we speak privately?"

"Of course, come in." The room was like before. He sat with being told too. "What troubles you?"

"Am I Jotun?"

"Ah. Odin finally told you." Ve sighed. "You are."

"Was your mother a Jotun as well?”

"Yes. As was Loptr, Odin's blood brother."

"Why were we never told about Bestla?" 

"Because of politics. I assumed it would naturally arise at some point but never did.” He sighed. “Mother deserved more than that."

"And Loptr was Jotun as well? I read about him in detail and nowhere did it mention his race."

"The texts are aged, Loptr is seldom talked of even of he did much for Asgard. And the War came shortly after his death. It was another thing people lost track of in the process of death and peace."

"I know not what to do." Loki admitted.

"You feel betrayed?"

"Yes. They lied to me, you lied."

"A lie of omission." Ve agreed. "However you must understand. I cannot go against certain orders of your father. He may be my brother but he is still king. Even if he does not mean to impose his will upon others he may do so without realizing it."

"Would you have told me?"

"I cannot say truly as your safety was a concern."

"It is no evil to be Jotun, Loki. There are bad men of all races and their children are not evil simply by being of their blood."

"Father says he believed me abandoned.” Ve shook his head and looked Loki straight in the yes.

"I was privy to this information, I only tell you because I was not ordered otherwise. Odin met with Laufey recently go discuss easier travel and trade between the Realms. The negotiation did not go well. Laufey stated he could not trust the safety of his people to a child killer. 

"You were not abandoned, Loki. Why Odin thought so makes little sense in retrospective. You were alone, yes, but your mother or guards may have ventured away to defend you from our armies. You were in a sacred place with Jotunheim's most powerful relic. When Odin took you, Laufey thought you dead by his hand."

"Why did he not tell me this?"

"Because he is ashamed. My brother has many faults but he would never kill a child in cold blood. He told you what he thought to be true for centuries. Now it is all a lie. 

"How would you feel if the boy you raised turned out to be stolen by your own hand? That you are a child thief and believed to be a child-slayer. That he took you from a family that would have loved you as we do?" 

"But to be raised by Laufey-"

"He is not a good king and I do believe your brothers closer to cruel than wise but I can understand how he came to be. He lost a war, many of his people, the Casket and his son. Laufey was never what can be called kind but he was not always as harsh as he is now. I believe he became so and taught his remaining sons to be so in order to stand strongly against such hazards."

Loki frowned. After a moment of silence, he spoke again. ”I think he may have mentioned it in the conversation now. I do not know. I was too surprised to recall." 

"He may have. Odin is still in a shock from the news. I am less than pleased with it but I cannot say I do not appreciate your place here. Your brother would no doubt have been insufferable too."

"Not more so, uncle?" Ve laughed. "Thor does not know." Loki hesitated then added. "He does not know that Frigga is not his blood mother."

Ve looked surprised. "Odin, what have you gotten yourself into?" He looked at Loki. "Drink or talk?"

"Drink." 

“Do not think anything of it. Do not think yourself but very much wanted, by your birth family and by ours. If circumstances were different I wish we could unite around you, but reality is seldom so simple.”

He handed Loki a drink. “…thank you, uncle.” 

“You are welcome, nephew.” Ve replied with a smile and toasted him.

For seven days, Loki did not speak to Frigga and Odin; he avoided Thor. His brother thankfully had duties to attend to that distracted him before any suspicion arose. Odin glanced at him any time he came into view, an eager and hopeful look on his face in private. The disappointment that crossed it when Loki did not speak with him was not vengeance enough for a lifetime of lies.

Frigga hid her feelings, though he suspected they were along the lines of Odin. She was polite with him, and when he did not answer she played as if he had. When he received notice the second day that he was excused from his duties until further notice, he knew Odin had stepped in to give him time to think the matter over in solitude.

Uncles Ve and Vil did not push him but he knew that Vil had been informed of the revelation. Loki received a very nice and personal gift the next day after he spoke with Ve. No, his life was not perfect but it had not been the worst. 

He did not know if he could forgive Odin, but he could not hate him for the lie. His father had admitted why he had lied. His mother, Frigga, the same but in different circumstances. Odin’s words sounded true, then he could not begrudge his father. 

Odin and Frigga had wanted children. However, Frigga could not provide them and after Thor Odin would not produce them again. Loki presented the perfect opportunity for another child to their family. 

Odin had found a baby of royal blood, if he cared for such a matter. And perhaps the secrecy in which the event had transpired (because all children and adults in Asgard knew the King took the Casket alone with no soldiers for aid) permitted him the opportunity to add a child to his family without any questions or doubts. If Frigga claimed to have hidden a pregnancy why would she not do it again?

 

Loki almost laughed. He had thought himself unwanted for so long but had turned out to be wanted by more than he had even known. His birth family had wanted him before his supposed death and so did his adoptive. 

On the eight day, he walked into his parents’ room. The conversation between them had been had been stilted and stopped completely when he came into view. The same expectant looks cross their faces but they waited for him to address them, if at all.

“I am still angered with you, but I am thankful you have disclosed this information.” He looked at them sternly. “But you must tell, Thor. If we are to be truthful it must be with us all. Or I will tell him, and you will see how well he’ll take the news from his Jotun not-brother.”

“Loki-“

“If it is not in confirmation, All Father, then I suggest you remain silent lest I no longer call you Father.”

Odin took a deep breath and nodded. “Of course, Loki. We will tell your brother at once.” Loki nodded, he had not been too confident that approach would work. Frigga rose and embraced him. 

“Mother.” 

“Loki.” she sounded tearful. Odin rose and embraced him as well, when Loki did not pull away the embrace became almost crushing. His father’s strength, once a sign of his power, seemed more explainable than before.

“Father.” He took a deep breath. “Tell me about Loptr and Grandmother. You say I am not a monster, they do not seem to be monsters but I cannot believe it.”

“I would be delighted to.” Loki nodded, he didn’t know when, if ever, he would be able to stand his true form when he built the courage to see it. He only needed to know he was not a monster if it happened before then.


	33. Chapter 33

Frigga sat at the end of the bed, smiling softly at a childhood image of Thor and Loki. Thor glowered in the image, his expression sully as they had been caught mid mischief. Loki looked on innocently, his thumb in his mouth. Their short hair was covered in syrup and clothing in an array of random foodstuffs they had gotten to. Odin sat next to her and kissed her neck. 

“We were lucky to have raised them.” He embraced her.

“More than.” She traced Loki’s face. “And yet how much did Laufey and his wife long for this image in their hearts?” 

“It is a crime from which I will never recover from but now is not the time for it, my love.” Frigga nodded against him then ran her hand over their image. 

“What would our child look like? I have often wondered. Yet I cannot imagine it. I am ridden with guilt, it feels as if I am ungrateful.”

“It is natural. You…we wanted them so long. We never had the chance.” 

Frigga put down the image and glanced at him. Her expression was fraught. Odin tightened his hold on her. “Odin, what will Thor think of our lies?” 

“I do not know but I can only hope.” 

“If he renounces me?”

“Then he was lost to us some time ago.” Odin admitted. He knew his son but not as well as he thought. She kissed him. “Loki is with Thor, certain his brother will no longer hold that title to him.”

“I fear it too. We failed Thor in many ways that I did not see until recently.” Frigga said. “I have hope he is stronger than I perceive him but hatred has turned men against their very race.” 

“Come, let us rest. Tomorrow we will talk and we will see how strong our family truly is.” She glanced at the image again. 

“You are right.” 

Odin entered his rooms with trepidation. Frigga’s laughter was forced, though well hidden. Years at court had taught Odin to recognize his wife’s forced laughter. Thor beamed at his mother. He rose when he saw him. 

“Father.” 

“At ease, son.” Odin said. Thor’s stance lost its air of formality. Frigga glanced at him, Odin gave her a small nod. She would lead this night; she had more to lose than him with this revelation. 

“My life, where have you been? Court ended at least an hour ago.” Frigga greeted him. 

“Court may have ended but my advisors certainly were not through!” Thor gave an indignant humph. 

“They had no reason to keep you then?”

“Reasons that might have been addressed years before perhaps. Since my announcement of their dismissal they have been quite attentive.” Thor laughed. The conversation made its way easily from that point. Frigga kept a hand on Thor’s arm the entire time. He looked pleased with the attention from her.

Odin’s heart ached. They had favored both their sons in ways they had not realized but their children had. Yet where Loki stood in Frigga’s favor, Thor still outpaced him in ways that they could not see. Odin knew Frigga was ready when she let loose her grip on his arm. 

“Thor, have you noticed a change in your brother?” Frigga asked. 

“Of course.” Thor said instantly. “He has been more aloof than normal.” He glowered at Odin. “Have you been fair with him in your lessons, father?” Odin felt torn between the spark of pride with the concern Thor showed his brother, and indignant at the suspicion. 

“I have been more than fair.” He replied. “Though that is not quite what your mother speaks of.” Frigga gave him gratefully for his choice of words. 

“Yes.” Frigga took a deep breath and looked at him. “We—I…The rift you observed, your brother was justified in his reaction, came as a result of a revelation.”

“What revelation?” Thor asked, curious and concerned. 

“What do you remember of your infancy?” Frigga asked softly. 

“Very little.” Thor replied, puzzled. “I remember the nursery, our nanny, just vague impressions.” 

“What is your first memory of Loki?” Thor frowned, more puzzled. 

“I do not know. I remember he was very small and smelled.” Thor said. “I cannot say more.”   
Frigga laughed lightly. 

“He was small when he came to us.” Frigga said. “So very small and young.”

“Mother?” Thor was far from stupid. Odin sat next to his wife. She took his hand. She clutched at it desperately. “What do you mean by those words?”

Frigga’s grip became painful. “Odin?”

“Loki did not come to us by birth, Thor. I found him as a child and brought him into our family.”

“Loki’s adopted.” Thor said with a start. “He-he’s not my brother? The rift-“

“Was because we told him the truth.” Frigga said. 

“It is not so simple as well.” Odin began and told a shorter recounting of when he found-stole Loki. He kept his words stricter than with Loki. 

“Father, are you saying Loki is not only not my brother but he is Jotun?” Thor asked in disbelief. “How is that possible? The Jotnar are monsters. Loki is not a monster. Was he stolen?” 

“Of course not.” Frigga replied. “He is who he has always been, our son and your brother.”

“Loki is Jotun, Thor.” Odin replied at the same time. Thor’s expression was blank. Was the surprise too much for him? Odin wondered.

“But why would you take him in if he is Jotun?” Thor asked. 

“Because I saw a child in need. I-I was also selfish, I wanted another child.” Thor frowned. 

“Then why not simply have more?” His tone was calm but his body tense. He seemed torn between anger and the desire to know everything. “It could not have been so simple? What more are you not telling me?” Thor demanded. “First my brother is not my own and now you say it is because you wanted children?”

“I cannot have any children.” Frigga said softly. “I tried, for years. I tried magics and potions. I-We even tried other methods-the dwarves fashion intricate support systems for the unborn but such hopes proved to be in vain. 

“I am barren though no healer would know. I cannot have children, Thor. I never birthed a son or daughter. I never nursed a child.” She looked at him. “Odin is not so unlucky.”

“I am your son.” Thor said looking at Odin, then slowly turned to Frigga when Odin had nodded. “But not yours.”

“In all but blood. At least I hope that you still find me to be your mother.” Frigga said. “Son-“

“I am not your son! Why would you not tell us?” Thor roared, his anger finally making itself known. “Has this entire family been based on deceit?” Frigga made a wounded noise and Odin rose to meet his son. 

“The family with which you grew with was true!” Odin said quickly. “Truths were kept from you because I am imperfect! Frigga is imperfect! Your mother, your brother, and I are your family-“

“You just admitted I am not your legitimate heir!” Thor snarled. “I am a bastard. And-and what of my mother? Who is she? What became of her?” Frigga openly sobbed at the question. Thor turned to her. His expression turned remorseful. “Mother, no I did not mean it thusly.”

“Your mother did not want you.” Odin said simply. A look of unimaginable hurt came over his face. “I wished for you and in a moment of folly ensured I sired a child. Your mother is named Jord. She resides in Midgard, and is not one of the nine races but she is a god in her own right, as we are.”

Thor turned to him. “Your mother accepted you by her grace and kindness.”

“Do not lie yet more, Odin.” Frigga said softly, her voice sounded harsh and broken. “I despised him the moment I saw him.” Thor jerked, stumbling away from his mother in a look of horror. He looked as if he did not recognize her. “To look upon him was agonizing - a child of your father’s blood but not my flesh.” She did not look up from her hands.

“I love you, Thor. I would die for you but I did not have a mother’s love for you then. You were simply a sign of your father’s treachery. I felt inadequate, displaced, and even though your father swore he did not love Jord I could not trust his word. 

“I truly did not hate you, Thor, as a being but I did despise what you represented. I was weak and I hope for that you forgive me. I grew to love you, my heart softened by the want of a child and your innocence. You looked upon me with such love and trust even though I scorned you.

“The healers simply thought I suffered from the sickness, as many women do. That it took hold of me so strongly because I had taken so long to conceive.” She rose. “When Odin came to me again with Loki years later I suspected he had betrayed me again until he showed me otherwise. So if you may call me mother and I son, then Loki is kin as he always been.”

Thor simply stared mutely. He seemed shocked beyond anger at the moment. His face twisted in a mask of too many emotions. Odin decided to keep steering through the conversation. Thor would need to work through this with all the information at once as they have. 

“If another reason I saw no issue with your brother’s race it is due to my own heritage.” Odin began. Thor glanced at him. “Your brother is a Jotun, he is not half nor is he simply part. He is the full hen. He is also of royal blood, a fact I considered fortunate as it meant he would be strong as a prince’s station merits.”

“He is-“

“Laufey’s son, yes.” Odin said.

“Father, Laufey is the worst of all Jotnar. His cursed blood is through Loki’s veins-“

“Loki is not cursed.” Frigga snapped. “Nor is Laufey. Laufey is a man and full of follies as we are.”

“It is true.”

“Loki betwitched us.” Thor murmured, seeming fixed on the fact. His tone was peculiar. It worried him; Odin had heard men kill their own brothers for less than discovering such truths. Loki was wise to stay away. “His peculiarities-“

“No. Loki did not bewitch us. And he is perfectly normal.” Odin quickly added, his tone firm.  
“If I felt any bias for him upon finding him it was due to my own bloodline. My mother was not of Asgard, like Loki, she was of Jotunheim.” 

“Was she-“

“Jotun? Yes.”

“So I too am a monster.” Thor murmured. 

“No one is a monster.”

“Are we not father?” Thor’s face twisted in a dark horror. “I would have-I boasted-I would have slain every one of them in the name of glory! I would have killed my own brother!” He glanced at his hands. “I would have slain children who-who were like Loki. Like me. How can I not be a monster? Norns, what curse has come over us?” A hint of hysteria tinged his words.

Frigga embraced him and Thor ceased his speech. 

“There are no monsters.” Frigga replied strongly. “Only men and their actions. You have not slain any children nor killed any innocents. You are strong but also a man, Thor. You are prone to weakness as I or your father.

“Mother, how can you stand it?” Thor begged. This was his son unmade, Odin realized. He was faced with a stark truth that no boasting of glory or so-called honor could remove. This was a moment that defined men with truth or drove them into ignorance out of fear.

“Because I love you and raised you. You are no monster. Odin is no monster. Loki is sweet and devious as any boy from Asgard could be given as we are. Your uncles are not monsters. I met your grandmother when I was young, and she was an amazing woman. No monster before me.”  
She stroked his hair.

“I have met monsters and they are not you. They are cruel cowards. At times they are simply beyond our reasoning, so perhaps the word does not suit them as much as we would appreciate it to.” Thor shuddered and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

“Mother. Frigga-” 

“There will be time for anger later, Thor.” She said softly. “For the moment, simply seek comfort in me, your mother.” Thor nodded as he shook in her arms.

A silence fell over them.

Odin hoped his son would come ahead. If he could not, he feared in the future Asgard would walk along a dark road and no Jotnar would ever call Asgard home again.


	34. Chapter 34

Odin watched Loki and Thor’s conversation. They did not stray from courtly and political topics. They sat across from each other and the space between them seemed wider than breath between Realms. Frigga frowned; she had noticed the change as well. 

He watched Thor’s friend glanced his way, trying to catch their attention. His son did not respond. As the evening progressed Loki moved away from his brother and joined Frigga’s side. Thor glared at him. 

Odin felt the stirrings of jealousy, he pushed it away. His sons had latched onto Frigga for comfort and safety in their turmoil. He cursed his Father in his mind, if the old man had only lasted a few centuries more he could have had more time with his own children. 

Loki glanced at him, his expression guarded. Whatever he had gained with Loki felt as if it had been lost. Ve had told Loki about Laufey. What did his son see when he looked at him? His anger boiled. 

Odin had failed both this sons and in trying to bring them closer had driven them apart. He felt like a failure. He could not rule his kingdom as a decent king. His family was stretched thin. His brothers doubted his judgment. 

He rose and exited the court without preamble. 

\------  
“Father?” Loki called as he stepped into his study.

“Over here.” Odin called. Loki followed his voice and found Odin arranging family portraits on the wall. Loki glanced at them quickly: Father and his uncles; Mother –young and shining with youth; a copy of Odin and Mother’s wedding portrait; he and Thor at various ages. Odin turned to him with a smile. 

Father embraced him. Loki stiffened at the touch; he had not hugged his father in nearly a month. Odin frowned; he almost missed the look. Loki took a deep breath. He did not want to return back to what they had had. 

“Father.” He called softly and embraced him. Odin returned it, vigorously. “Father, what did you call me for?” Odin smiled, a strained thing and sat in one of his chairs. 

“I know Ve told you about my discussion with Laufey.”

“That you mistakenly took me and Laufey believes me dead.” 

“Yes.” Odin looked at him. “Loki, I have tried to bring this family together but all my efforts have driven us apart. So I am not going to bumble into a plan that will fail. I ask you Loki, do you wish to tell Laufey of your existence?”

“Father?” Loki startled. “Tell Laufey and his Queen?”

“Yes. I will bear the title of child-killer if you wish to keep this a secret.” Loki froze. Child killer, if it was hidden his father had to live with the shame… “You mistake me, Loki. I do not tell you this to guilt you into acting one way or another. This is wholly up to you. I have committed a crime and I will bear the shame of it regardless of the consequences.” 

“I do not know what I wish to do, Father.” Odin smiled at the appellation. 

“There is time.” He replied. “Whatever you decide, I will act accordingly.” he sighed. “How have you been, Loki?”

“Well, Father. I-I do not try to think of my heritage.” He looked at his hands. “I have spent time reading over grandmother’s journals again. I have spoken with Uncle Ve and I still cannot-I do not think I could stand it.” 

“Have you spoken with Thor?”

“No.” His lips curled in distaste. Thor had avoided him. “It seems he had come to his own conclusions.”

“He does not act against you.” Odin replied simply. “When we told him his own heritage, Loki, he did not take it well. If he keeps his distance it is because he is reacting to the news of his own.”

Loki frowned. “Where is Thor, father? I have not seen him in days.” Odin sighed. 

“He is with Vil, they will be going on a trip to the mountains.” 

“Why?”

“Because Thor must come to terms with his own demons, Loki. He must see the Jotnar as people, more than you alone.”

“Then why go with Uncle Vil?”

“Because in order to grow he must see that not all Aesir as good.” Loki nodded, his father had told him about the wide spread corruption. 

“I see.” Loki started. “Fa-father, how have you been?” Odin smiled at him sadly. 

“Not well son. I have felt bereft of your company.” Loki smiled, Odin was using his own words now against him. 

“You still have it, father.” Odin smiled, an honest thing that had Loki astonished. Not long ago he had sat where his father had been. “I do not know about Laufey, I will need time. Until then we may talk as we always have.” 

Odin nodded. They began to talk. When the evening concluded, Loki returned to his rooms. He felt both lighter and heavier. Laufey…the question weighted heavily on him. He did not know the answer he would give. 

When Thor left days later, Loki couldn’t help the pang of regret and hurt when Thor simply nodded a farewell at him. Thor would be back but would he return as his brother still?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to have a few chapters out by next weekend. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for the long delay. Real life interfered with my plans.

Weeks passed, reports from Ve and Thor came in of their preliminary audits but nothing personal. In that time Loki contemplated what Odin had told him. He reread Bestla’s journals and went through his courtly duties. His formal studies were on hold while Thor went on his mission and Loki could not make any effort to personal projects. 

He avoided his reflection save in his personal bathing room. He would stare for hours and try to initiate a change. He was gifted in shape shifting but could not even create the illusion of a Jotun countenance. No blue hue, no red eyes…nothing. 

“Father,” Loki said softly as they met again in Odin’s study for his lessons in magic. The lessons had not progressed, as they should have. Loki still cherished the time he spent with his father. He had wanted it for so long; he was not going to waste it. He refused to cower back into the shadows; he would be Loki Odinson regardless of blood. 

“Yes?” Odin replied. Loki’s tone was odd. He knew it. The concern on Odin’s face strengthened his resolved. He was loved; he was not broken; he was worthy to be King; he had ruled and proven worthy. 

“I wish to see my true form.”

“I am gladdened. Do you wish to conduct this in private or with help from myself or your mother?”

“I have tried, Father. This is the problem. I cannot change or even cast an illusion to gain it. I cannot imagine it for all I have seen of Grandmother and your brother, Loptr. I fear-I fear I would not be able to change back to this form. It is all I have known.”

“I will help you.” Odin said immediately. “Thank you for telling me.” 

“Do you know how I may change?”

“I will need to think over.” Odin replied. “For all my gifts in magic, your strengths here far out weigh my own.”

“Your own illusions and shifts are powerful enough to convince me, Father. I remember as a child, you had spoken to me but had a different face.”

“Ah, yes. I remember. Frigga scolded me for that. You were quite frightened by that incident.” 

“I did not know about your magic then.” Odin laughed.

The conversation devolved a casual reminiscence of his childhood for the rest of the hour. Loki left, hopeful his father would find a solution. Their next lesson occurred two weeks later. Odin met him, looking tired and haggard. 

“Father? Do you wish to proceed today?”

“Perhaps not in our magic but I still wish to spend time with you.” He replied. Loki sat in what he had begun to think as his seat. Odin sat across from him. “I believe I have found a solution.”

“How?” He asked eagerly.

“If anything exists on Asgard that may change you, it is the Casket. I cannot force the change, Loki. It is of your own doing that causes you to appear Aesir. Yet the Casket is tied to Jotuneheim. It is tied more closely than any other object in the Realms. When I grasp the Casket I can feel my mother’s blood pulse in my veins like a home calling. I believe it should permit you to change.”

“I trust you, Father.” Loki replied. “When, when will we see the Casket?”

“Soon. I will tell you when. I cannot simply enter the Vault. It causes the guards distress and then rumors will rise. As it stands, I am drawing ire from the audits and my personal review of court staff. If we enter it may be only once or twice.”

“Are there not any other paths in than the main door?” Odin shot him a stern look.

“There is knowledge that only a king may know, Loki. Such knowledge, if it exists, would be imparted only to you upon formal coronation. It is knowledge that will be gained by the formal ceremony, even if my unforeseen death preceded it. If you gain the role, it will be yours. Until then I cannot say.”

“Of course, Father.” He bowed his head, chastised. Odin reached out his hand and grasped his. 

“I do not say this to discourage you.”

“I know, Father. I forgot my place for a moment. I know you are correct and that secrets must remain amongst certain individuals.” He smiled. “I did not think of us as prince and king, but son and father.” Odin squeezed his hand comfortingly. 

“My son.” He said with pride and sadness. Loki squeezed back. “My son.” Odin rose and brought Loki to his arms. Loki returned his embrace. 

“Father. You will always be my father. Do not doubt that, for all that may happen. You were a good father.” Odin did not reply. Loki felt as if he were a child, again. He felt like he was safe and loved. 

 

They strode through the halls, Odin leading with a grim expression on his face. Loki and Ve walked behind him. Their formal armor intimidated the passing servants, nobility, and guards. When they reached the Vault, Odin glowered at the guards. 

“Leave.”

“Sire?”

“I will be inspecting the vaults today with Prince Loki.”

“Has there been a breach, sire?” The guards asked in shock. 

“Prince Ve will be standing guard while we conduct our inspection.”

The guards moved unnerved. Loki glowered as he entered the Vault after Odin. He heard the doors shut behind them. He slumped. 

“Father?” Loki called. Odin looked at him in concern. 

“Loki? Do you wish to continue?” 

“I need a moment, Father. This is…overwhelming.” He rubbed his face in anxiety. Loki caught sight of his hands and dropped them. 

“Loki, we may continue another time.”

“No, I need to know. If only for myself, even if I never change again.” Odin nodded and waited. A moment passed before he nodded and Odin led them to the Casket. Loki looked at it. Before Odin stood the two things from Jotunheim he had stolen. Laufey wondered what his father, his thief, was thinking.

“Do I reach out toward it? Do you think it would permit me to change?”

“Yes.” 

Loki breathed deeply and reached out. He grasped one of the handles. His hand started to turn blue almost at once. “Father.” He called in worry.

Odin was at his side at once. Loki let go and stared at his hand in horror. It was blue. His nails were almost black. “Father?” He knew he was panicking.

Odin grabbed his hand. His skin began to turn back to normal. Only it was not normal. Odin released his hand. “Loki, are you alright?” His father loved him. He reminded himself. There was nothing wrong with him. Jotnar were not evil. His grandmother was Jotun. Intelligent, good, and loving (loved still). 

Loki breathed in deeply. “I must try again.” 

“Loki, are you certain? I only want what is best for you.”

“I know, Father. I will never move forward if I do not come to terms with this, Father.” 

“As you, wish.”

“Thank you, Father.” Loki took a deep breath. “Again.” He reached over and watched the transformation again. 

As before the transformation ended abruptly with his retreat. He felt weak and angry but his fear outweighed them. He looked at his hand, his pale hand. He retreated further into the Vault and screamed in anger. He yelled until it felt like hours had passed. 

Odin had not followed him. He stared at his hand at arms, his clothes. He began to strip. 

He was not a coward. Loki was not a coward. Loki --Loki Odinson. Loki Laufeyson, Loki Friggajarson. Loki Farbautijarson--was not a coward. 

He had faced war. He had killed and seen death in all forms. He could and would conquer this monster in himself. There were no monsters but his fear. 

He stripped until he was in his undergarments and did not look at his body. He returned. Odin watched, surprised at his change and held steady. His safety, his care would be there regardless of his actions. 

Loki grasped the handle and held. Held as the panic rose. Held as his hand turned and the lineage marks rose along his arm. Held as he saw his own eyes turn red in the reflection from the polished floor. Held as his feet grew colder and ice formed along the ground he stood upon. He held until he could not see anything left of his previous self. 

He let go and did not change back. 

“Father?” He called unsure and weak, so weak. 

“My son. You are beautiful.” Loki felt the tears rise and he did not hold them back. “And I am sorry I held such beauty from you. I am sorry I caused you to fear it without knowing, in ignorance.”

“Father.” He needed to be strong in order to remake himself. “Can you conjure a mirror? I think it’s time I saw what I truly look like.” 

When the mirror appeared Loki stared mutely at his reflection. Stared and wondered if he would break for all his wants and desires. 

This was the true form of Loki. 

This was Loki Laufeyson. 

This was the face of a monster.


	36. Chapter 36

"Loki, look at me." Odin said. Loki could not look away. "Loki, whatever you are thinking is wrong. Listen to father."

Loki startled when to figures appeared next to him in the mirror. Illusions.

"That is Loptr and Mother. Look at them and yourself. You are not a monster. If so I am as well. My mother is still my own despite my appearance." Loki watched Bestla and Loptr. They looked like him. He knew this but it seemed more improbable. They were not monsters. But how could he not be?

"Tell me is there any monster here?" Odin replaced Loptr. 

"Yes."

Odin smiled. "If this is true. It is me, my son. I am the Hallow's God; I am Death and War. I am child thief and killer. I did not slay you but whatever future in Jotunheim you held I shattered upon taking you." Odin placed his hand on his shoulder. "Not you." 

"Father." 

"My son."

Loki shuddered. "Change me back." Odin shook his head. 

"This is not my doing. You must change alone. I cannot will it."

"Make it go away." He felt small and his voice reflected it. Odin did away with the mirror but Loki was still blue. 

Odin took his hand. "Let us sit." They say on the ground. Loki spoke after a moment. 

"Why did I not burn you?"

"It must be willed or appears defensively." He said. "Despite being a halfing I will burn. You will not, cannot be."

"That was a stupid question." Loki laughed. "Otherwise you would not have been born."

"There is nothing stupid from your curiosity. It is natural, especially since so much is unknown." 

"I do not know, Father. I do not know anything." He looked at his hands. He reached out and traced his lineage marks. "How unique is this?"

"Every Jotun is different but there are patterns that repeat in families. Your arms display your mother's House, at least I believe so. They are a very notable family. My mother and Farbauti are related not too far back but Mother displayed more the markings of her father's House."

"So we are related?"

"Distantly. Most of the royal families are in one way or another. Your Mother, Frigga I mean, is related to the Vanir royals and those of Alfheim due to second sons and so forth."

"Is that why you wed?"

"I married your mother because I love her dearly. I wish I could say we met and fell in love by chance but I first spotted her at a function meant to introduce me and my brothers to women of good breeding. Your own mother, Farbauti, was there."

"You make it sound as if you were choosing a horse." Loki said with disgust and touched his arm again. Mother, this was from his mother. A mother whYo loved him and mourned him. 

"In some ways it was." 

"We have not had any such meetings."

"I did not want you to choose a horse, Loki. I love your Mother. Laufey in turn loves Farbauti. To be in love is wonderful, even when it ends in heartbreak."

Loki nodded. "Which are Laufey's?"

Odin reached out touched his face. "Your facial marks and your chest."

"If they saw me like this then-"

"They would know you are of royal blood, your mother's markings would prevent any doubts to your legitimacy."

Loki nodded and looked away from himself. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the feeling of wrongness that coursed through him. This was not wrong. He was not wrong. He was not alone. His family, his people shared his heritage

Father and uncles. Brother. 

He kept breathing. He felt himself calm and grow sure. The wrongness was visual. He did not see his body but it felt the same. He felt the same. 

He wondered if he could conjure ice. If he could make metal burn away to nothing but shattered fragments. He should be able. He did not know how; maybe it was still fear that kept him from trying. 

Perhaps this is what a fish would feel like if it learned it could breathe air. 

He thought as his settled. The calmness vanished at a pounding at he door of the vaults. 

"Sire! Your Highness! Do you require aid?" A guard asked in alarm. Loki opened his eyes. Odin stood. 

"Stay. I will return. " his face turned into a scowl as he neared the door. "Who dares intrude?" Odin demanded. Loki heard his uncle reply. 

"They are unnerved and would not take my word of your safety."

"Useless! Ve go to Loki. I will speak with the guards." Ve entered and the door shut fully. He heard his fathers muffled yells as he berated the guards. 

"Loki?"

"Over here." He sounded the same. He noted; he had it realized it before. Ve walked deeper into the Vault. When he came into view he stopped. Now was a true test of judgment. 

"Norms preserve us." Ve breathed. 

"What is the matter, uncle?" 

"You truly are Laufey's son."

"Does this disgust you?" Ve's face turned hard. 

"Never. It is merely that you may never turn freely without the truth being revealed. Your markings are familial-"

"Father has explained."

"Then you understand that you cannot claim to take after mother. No two outcomes would come: you are the missing prince or Frigga was unfaithful."

"Do not sully mother's name." Loki snapped. 

"I do not mean that, child." Ve walked toward him. "May I join you?" Loki nodded. "You are dealing with this rather well."

"This is what Father helped put together. My first reaction was not kind or accepting."

"Can I be of any help?"

"Let us simply talk." Ve nodded. 

"This will take time, Loki." 

"I know, uncle. That does not mean that I do not grow with impatience." Ve nodded. 

"Let me show you something." Ve stripped off his armor and shirt. "Look." Loki leaned closer to where he was pointing, where his shoulder and arm met. The skin looked painfully scarred. 

"Unwanted markings like mine?" He asked. 

"No, they are the lines of Mother's House. I am the only one to have them, and I have never met another halfling or even someone who was less Aesir with them. They do not look kind but they are mine." Loki touched them without realizing it. He pulled pack after he realized his impoliteness. 

"I am sorry."

"Do not be. It is odd but an oddness I do not mind. Most simply think they are an injury, from long ago."

"Can you- are you more Jotun in some ways?"

"No. It is simply a mark from Mother. Nothing else. We can stand the cold better and the wind but your father, Vil and I are Aesir in almost all ways."

It would take time. Loki looked at his hand. This was his doing. He reached out and touched Ve again. His uncle hissed at his cold touch. It appeared his skin had grown colder without him realizing. The skin on his hand turned pale and the color flowed up his arm. 

"That is enough for today." Loki said. 

Ve nodded. "Let me help you dress. Armor is always vexing." Loki nodded and first help Ve dress. 

Time. It would take time before he did not see the monster.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any big errors I'm posting from my phone at the moment and tried to proofread as best as I could.

As Odin stated there was only one more trip to the Vault. Rumors were circling the court about Odin's conduct. People were worrying. When Thor's absence had been noted, it caused the gossip to surge like wildfire. 

Unworthy, exiled. Sent to make amends with other Realms. Political training. Treason. 

They were ridiculous. Loki understood why Vil had left the court when he had had the chance. Of course he had his own rumors, especially after it was noted how much more time was being spent in the All Father's presence. It wouldn't surprise Loki if he eventually was rumored to have gone mad with power and accused of murdering Thor. 

The second opportunity had given him enough information to engage the change on will. He had trouble turning back to his usual appearance. He needed to touch the skin of an Aesir to turn. Luckily he was not alone. He didn't know if it was from worry or concern but Loki welcomed the company. 

The first time he had turned in mother's presence Frigga had hugged him and called him handsome. No deception in her words. Odin may have taken him willingly but Loki would never stop loving Frigga for loving him despite it all. Frigga had been honest with him and Thor. 

It had been a little over three months since Thor had left. Loki did not know if his absence made him grateful or bitter. All the comfort in the world would not aid the sting and hurt that would come if Thor rejected him. All his life his brother had been there. Loki could not imagine it without him

The undercurrent of his melancholy was resentment. Loki knew he was jealous of Thor - his popularity, his willing recklessness that was embraced and the time he had previously spent with father. It was an ache that was not quick to fade nor was the memory of loneliness. 

Thank Father for realizing his failing. For his help. Honesty. 

Wanted. Chosen. Loved. Worthy. 

Wanted. 

Loki felt guilty looking into Laufey, his queen and his brothers. Read about his family. He ached and felt torn. 

Laufey was not always so harsh a king. Ruled by law and less compassion than father but fair. 

His mother was beautiful. Tall but slim and fair for a Jotun. Generous and charitable. Loki could see himself in her. 

His brothers reminded him of Thor but his eldest brother, Helblindi, was s scholar and the younger a decent Mage. 

And yet their height intimidated him. He did not know if it was his magic or a defect that left him so small.

Father would go to his death in shame for him. 

This was not about him alone. 

No this could not stay between two families. The Realms would rise in outrage: Jotunheim at his theft and Asgard in his rank, his lineage. 

He did not wish to hide but he wondered if he would need to outside of his family. 

Nevertheless, it was time that Loki Laufeyson returned.


	38. Chapter 38

Odin watched Laufey enter the meeting room. The king was dressed in what Odin thought were his best clothes. Thrym, his general, followed him like before. As the doors shut behind him Laufey growled and uttered:

“All Father, what do I owe this pleasure?” Laufey cast his eyes disdainfully at Loki. Ve stood in front of him. 

Odin would have commended him had the situation been other than what it was. No longer was the falseness of courtly diligence paraded around before the serious matters were hammered at.

No. That had been clearly put to an end their last meeting. 

Loki glanced at him. All the training in the world did not prepare him for a breech of politics like this, in a situation like this. Odin turned to look at Laufey. He moved forward and nodded at him.

“The truth. You requested that I speak to you only when I came bearing truth.”

  “You are going to admit your crime?” Laufey sounded incredulous. His general drew closer as if he expected the Asgardians were going to be attacked. 

“I am guilty, Laufey but not of the crime you accuse me of." Odin said strongly even though it felt as if Odin’s sleep were pressing on him. Laufey scroffed and Odin pushed forward before he could interrupt. 

“I did come across an infant when I entered the temple.” Laufey stood and with a burst of emotion that surprised Odin declared:

“He admits it! At last he admits it! Murderer! Child killer! Child slayer--”  

“I did not kill the child.” Laufey stop his agitated movement and glared. Odin pushed through. “No, I did not kill him. He was crying when I found him, scared and alone. I thought him abandoned.” 

Laufey went very still.

“My wife and I struggled very much for Thor.” Laufey did not appear to breath. “We wanted children so very much. I thought him abandoned and when I picked him up he smiled. He smiled despite my appearance from the battle.” 

Odin paused. The room was deadly silent.   Odin did not risk glancing at Loki for fear of losing all reserve.

“So I took him, took him and loved him. I named him Loki.” Laufey’s gaze immediately darted to Loki. “When I picked up the child his appearance change. He no longer looked Jotun, this was a craft not of my own creation but his own. The child had his own natural magic.”

“My child-“ 

“Is Loki.” Odin risked glancing at his son. Loki stared back haughtily but Odin could see signs of his nervousness. 

“What proof- what proof do you have of this claim?” Laufey asked, his voice hoarse.

  “Loki?” Loki nodded. 

“Perhaps this will convince you.” And he changed it was a slow transition and Loki struggled to shift into it despite his practice. The form still made him nervous. Laufey stared, wide eyed then looked in suspicion. 

“I-I wish to believe this is true but your son is noted in his magic and shifting abilities. This is a lie-you’re attempting to deceive me for your aims-”

  “Then burn me.” Loki said with no sign of fear. “Shape-shifter or not, there are few creatures that could ward off the burn of Jotnar even in disguise. An Aesir would certainly not be among them.” 

Laufey did not hesitate,; he simply touched Loki. Odin could not help the worry that settled in him as Loki’s armor and clothing shattered and fell away in pieces before Laufey touched his skin. 

Laufey did not grab his son but left his hand in place for a moment then pulled back. Loki’s skin was undamaged.   

“Change back.” Laufey demanded. Loki frowned and tried to concentrate the blossom of pink graced his cheeks before the blue returned. 

He looked abashed. “I have not quite mastered changing back. Uncle?” Ve reached out and touched him. Ve hissed as his skin came into contact with Loki’s skin. 

“You’re colder than mother.” He muttered. The bloom appeared back on Loki’s skin and he changed back to his usual appearance. Loki’s skin was unharmed despite the change. Ve pulled back his hand. Laufey glared at Ve murderously. Odin did not know if it was for the touch or the title.

“Sire, I advise you to not act to brashly.” Thrym called in the silence that followed. “It may be a trick.”  

“A trick? No this would be lunacy. To pass an Aesir heir as my son is ludicrous; it is ruinous.”

  “Yes.” Odin confirmed. “What do I gain by such pretense, Laufey? What does my son-“

  “Do not call him that.” Laufey hissed. “You do not call him that in my presence.” 

“Sire-“ Thrym attempted again.

“Silence, Thrym. This is not the time for chatter. You speak if I address you.”   

“Sire.” Thrym acknowledged and was silent. 

  Laufey did not turn to look at him. His gaze remained on Loki. “You are my son.” he breathed in shock and awe. “My son.” Loki looked uncomfortable for an instance at the intensity of emotion that tinged his tone. “Why now? Why admit it now?  

“Because it is necessary for our peoples.” Loki replied. “Asgard and Jotunheim must put the War behind them. It has led to our people’s misery in ways that can be improved, in Asgard above all."

  “My people have all but forgotten our common heritage. I am striving to fix and alleviate tensions within my kingdom, but if I cannot solve conflicts in my own home then it is for naught.” Odin added. 

“I do not understand.” Laufey replied as he turned to Odin. 

“The War has pushed Asgard to ignorance even though it is long over. I was blind to this.” Odin summarized the situation in a sanitized manner as possible, even if it were true he did not want Laufey to know the full extent. However he must have known something of the full truth, because the look of disdain he was given. 

“So this is an act of convenience.”  

"No. My desire to speak to you initially came from these conclusions. When you spoke to me and I learned of my crime, I admitted it to Loki. I was going to admit it but not with these facts. I would have given him my misconceptions.

  “I have not forced his hand nor have I coerced him. I left this, the decision to reveal to you the truth, to Loki.” 

Laufey glanced at Loki again. Laufey’s glance was intense. Odin felt the tension in the room ease.  

“Is this true?”  

“I swear by my honor.” Loki replied. 

“Laufey-King, I may not be the son you envisioned all these centuries but I am nonetheless your son. Small as I may be, shape shifter, and mage. I am the King of Lies but this truth burns me to admit for its frankness. 

“I will submit to any test you demand of me to prove this truth. The All Father entrusted me the power of revelation. I could have hidden and passed my heritage as a shame or hidden behind the late Queen Bestla’s lineage as an excuse for my appearance. 

“That conduct does not befit a man of honor, a man of noblesse, the son of a king. I am the son of two kings and two queens. Your blood runs through my veins and the All Father’s teachings in my mind. I know what course of action to take. Now, I and Asgard at at your mercy Laufey-King. Do you accept me as your son or will I lose that which was taken from me in my infancy?” Odin refused to flinch at the wording. 

Laufey motioned to the table that had been set for them. “Sit.” He said simply and they followed. Loki remained closest to Laufey. From Ve’s twitching hand, Odin knew he did not like it. It would take more than time to swade his brother to trust or at least be still around Laufey and his court. Odin knew the sentiment well. 

For a very long moment the hall was silent. 

 

 “You spoke of queens but said little of the All Mother or asked about your mother, my queen.” Laufey stated after a moment. 

“You look like your mother, my Farbauti.” Loki eyes shined for a moment before the shimmer vanished in a blink.

“Is any in the family as small as me?”  

"No. We are tall, your brothers and she. I do not know why you are thus. You were small even as an infant. Yet you were very much loved and wanted.” Laufey answered.

“I am not one to admit weakness, the All Father may vouch for this.” Laufey’s expression turned sardonic. “Yet I am at a loss for how to act. Thrym?”

  “Sire?”

  “What course of action would you choose?”

  “I cannot say, sire. This news leaves me astonished, which I know compares not to your own. I have no advise to serve. I have not received training for this nor have I witnessed such a situation in my years at war and counseling.”

“What would you want?”

  “I value family, sire.” The answer was plain enough to infer.

“All Father, we must act wisely. For all that I wish to know my son, for my wife to know her son and my sons to know their brother—there is danger in this truth.”  

“I do not see the danger if we act wisely and timely. Though it may take time to reveal this to all.” Odin replied honestly.

“No? Do you not think that our esteem will fall in the eyes of the Realms? That Laufey-King was weak enough to not only lose his child but fail to recognize him as stolen for centuries? That Asgard is weak, foolish enough to raise a Jotun heir- to place him at its throne?”

  “I have many shames, Laufey, but placing Loki on as Regent is not among them.” Odin replied strongly. “He will make a good king if needed and he is a good man. As for his heritage is see no danger in such a proclamation. Do you, Ve?” Ve looked surprise at the address; he glanced at Loki then back at them.

“No. After all, the blood of the Jotnar has long since held the throne. First with mother and then with Odin.”  

"What mean you?” Laufey demanded. 

  “I spoke of Bestla.” Loki said. “I did not call upon her name in vain, Laufey-King. She was Fa-the late Bor’s wife and mother to the Borsons. She was Jotun.”

 

 “If truth be told,” Odin declared. “it is Jotunheim that holds the advantage. The news of my heritage, of Loki’s heritage will not settle well with my people. They are angry and have grown angrier since I have begun changes. Loki will be the greatest danger at the revelation. 

“Say what you will of me, Laufey, but I will die for him to be safe. If that is in Jotunheim I would have it a thousand times over. Thor, Thor will be safe. He is loved and less Jotnar than any of the family, save Frigga.” Odin turned to Ve. Ve nodded. 

“My brother, my king is correct. If Asgard does turn upon itself we look upon you, Laufey-King for mercy. For not ourselves, though selfishness would not overlook it, but for our people. Loki is not the only Jotun in Asgard nor our we the only Halflings. 

“And thus we come to the second matter of this meeting that we wished to discuss. Loki will always be a concern, and like Odin I would die for him, but our people will always come ahead of ourselves. Thusly we are remitting to your mercy, Laufey-king. The tides will turn in Asgard and we know not where.”  

"Sire-“ Thrym broke in. “Surely you cannot trust them with such a declaration.” Laufey glanced at him.

“Silence.” Thrym fell quiet. “Loki?” Loki glanced at him. 

“I would very much welcome the chance to know you and my family. I say this as Loki, son of no king. Yet I do have a duty to Asgard as its prince. There is no advantage for us, Laufey. Not in our admission nor in our request. We came with truth and now it to you to decide what course of action we will take. As my father and as a king.

"What say you?"

The room filled with silence.


	39. Chapter 39

The silence grew in length. With each passing minute it pressed oppressively on Loki and Odin. His son wanted to leave, his composure was admirable but Odin had learned a few of Loki's tells in the past few months. 

What was Laufey thinking? 

The silence did not become the other King. Thrym shifted and opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it: Laufey had requested silence after all. 

"A new treaty must be negotiated." Laufey said nearly twenty minutes later. 

Odin frowned. This new topic had not been expected. "Pardon?"

"A treaty, if Asgard asks for much but I am no fool. I will not offer without asking for my own requests in turn. Rest assured I agree to your requests. Should Asgard turn on itself Jotunheim will accept its refugees. I think it may be time to discuss opening free travel in the event Asgard holds steady."

"And Loki?" Odin asked.

Laufey looked at him like he was an idiot. 

"He was never up for consideration." Odin nodded. "Loki will know his family." Laufey turned to him. "To show him the Realm where he his prince still. Much to my dismay, Loki, you cannot be in the line of succession. Not after being raised in Asgard."

Loki nodded and bowed his head "I understand Laufey-King. It would appear as if I were deliberately raised to dethrone and set Aesir rule in Jotunheim." 

Odin nodded. "We will meet again to discuss this. Loki will head to Jotunheim in due time."

"Time enough has passed. It must be soon, my wife has mourned our son long enough." Laufey turned to Loki. "Your loss is felt by her particularly harsh. She left you in the Temple to defend against what she thought were soldiers and was chased away. Upon her return you were gone."

"Our communication will be secret of course. Do you agree to secure messages across Realms?"

"Nay, I have thought of this. All Father, if you would permit this, I believe it would be the most secure method of relaying messages."

"What is it?" Odin asked. 

"I propose to that Thrym be permitted to travel between our Realms as secret keeper. He is loyal and will not divulge or seek that which he is not entitled to." Odin glanced at the general who met his gaze dispassionately. 

"There will need to be oaths."

"Of course." Laufey replied. "In the name of amending relations between our people he will stay and Loki will come shortly by the same reasoning."

"Thrym will remain while Loki is abroad." Odin replied. Laufey snarled

"As you wish, you Aesir are fond of your hostages."

"It has kept is out of war more than once." Odin replied. "Loki? Is this fair to you?"

"I have no objections. Uncle?"

"None, as well."

"Then we are agreed." Laufey replied. "We will secure our pact with an oath." The words made the room heavy with the beginnings of binding magic. Odin nodded and began his own recitation. Soon the agreement and secrecy between them all was set, permitting revelation to only a few others. If the pact was broken the magic would inform them all of the act. 

Honor on Asgard was worth it's weight in gold but few oaths were bound with magic despite their severity and value. A broken oath was as good as a cause for a suit or arrest. Odin felt good about this revelation. 

He and Laufey would never be more than civil but he was certain today was the start of them moving past being enemies. 

If only for Loki's sake.


End file.
